Monday, December 28, 2009

是的,一年一度的圣诞节说了hello又说bye bye了。

今年平安夜与众不同,因为居銮11所教会献力,联合社会服务中心和居銮人一起欢度那一晚。

很多档口啊,食物啊,表演啊等等。当天的步操虽不属大型可是排列工整,非常有纪律和抖擞。

我的最爱,还是当晚的音乐剧。短短几分钟的舞蹈叙述了容易明白的道理,带出了耶稣基督如何带领他的子民走出世俗各种不同的不得上帝喜悦的行为。 舞蹈者们都像我一样厉害,跳到很像随时会跟AirAsia一样起飞。其中一幕描述了酗酒的环节,突然我愣了一下, 心想:“欸,干嘛把我的人生搬上舞台嘞。” 还觉得蛮惭愧的。过后把手中的酒瓶推给妈妈,就不管我的事了。

我们没有等到倒数就走了。我老人家负荷不了太多林林总总的灯光。而且也不好意思让中华路的炒粿条等我们。

今年的圣诞庆祝多了一份动感,少了一份感动。我没说是件坏事,因为这都是很subjective的东西,就看个人如何去归纳它的性质了。

我只能说,今年的圣诞非同凡响,很有意义。

恭喜啦,居銮人。赚到。

Saturday, December 26, 2009

高跟鞋奶奶讲故子





又被炸到了吧?哈哈,恭喜啦。赚到。

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

最近我感觉到老年的到来了。

以往与现在的差别,老年只是我在精神上一种生活形态。而在现阶段,我的身体已经慢慢自我摧残。种种的象征。

现在只要轻轻一跳舞,下蹲二十几次就开始晕眩。手指再也不象以前那么灵活。身上和脸上的老人斑逐月增加。牙齿开始不能接受冰冷与过甜的食物。

后悔了。

早知道,心态就维持年轻一点嘛。虽然动作和语言上,本人还是很幼稚。那只是表面而已。谁知道我们这些做小丑背后的辛酸? 看看Ooi Leng 那张鬼脸,你就知道我们的日子一点都不好过。孩,不管怎样我们都是靠‘梗’来生活的。

可是我现在,没梗了。反应超级迟钝。耳朵不灵光,说话也一卡一卡。
之前看了一部电影,又让我陷于极限思考的范围里。故事情节叙述到一名导演,为了能和心爱的亲戚朋友永远在一起,他在他的豪宅里置放了许多棺材,希望死后大家仍能在一起。

2047 年了,大家一个个逝世了,只剩下孤独老人一个。他,听到了回家的呼唤,黯然掀开属于他的棺木,躺下去,等着死亡的到来。

我好像看到了我的未来。我本来就不喜欢声音和人群。可是为了social,不得不这样做。 更别说找个知心伴侣一起度过。我是一个没有爱情的冷血人。可是一想到这种场景,我不可以孤独的过下辈子啊! 没有儿女来怀念我,没有朋友会记得我。身体只是等着腐化的肉。周围的人也会把我的屋子当成是鬼屋,可能说成是:“这间鬼屋,据说生前是一位性格古怪的独居老人住的地方。夜间还听到他在练钢琴和唱古典声乐。。。”

我不惊讶。人类就是这样,喜欢搞些有的没的。真希望改次有机会的话,我就一一把他们给吓死!
 
我曾说过,死亡不是很恐怖,孤度的死亡才是。看了这部电影,才让我想起,要不要找个伴侣度过这辈子。

看来我需要买个机械人回来了。

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The last post was on my most wonderful train ride from Kampar back to Kluang ever. I try not to believe the ancient phrase of 'When you gain something, you lose something." But I was forced to succumbed to the horrendous reality.

First, the automated door became 'un'-automated. Even when the button is pressed, the door closed like as if it weights heavier than a bull. All the passengers protruded their heads out in the hope of increasing the speed. It worked for the first 3 times. The door eventually got stuck in the middle. Thank goodness my 20"-20"-20" can still squeeze through.

That's not all. Besides the terrifying puppet-like yellow hair lady who sat beside me, and also another lady who kept exercising her legs and fingers on the walking path who sat right beside the yellow hair lady, I have forgotten to bring along my laptop charger, So I couldn't use it to watch dramas I downloaded!

Worse still, the air-con died. It was so warm till I was infuriated to exterminate its corpse. The train was delayed by more than an hour by the time we reached Kay-Elle Central. The track is in the tunnel. And the tunnel is dark. The cabin was dark and stuffy. We waited for another hour for technician to fix the problem.

While waiting in the cabin, many of them got down to the station. But I chose to remain on my seat. And this was when and where the poem is born.


Firestorm in the Tunnel

Halted in the tunnel
quietness whistled
to the echoes of silence
Air brushes through
but at the speed of sleepwalking

Heat possessed the cabin
hypnotised us with spirits of fake serenity
Fresh air they gasped for
as freedom they seek away from the invasion
and also the bondage of heat
cannot be found
here

But I battled its wrath
the wish of my body I granted
for a stoic transformation I promised
to use as the perfect shield
from the firestorm that was never ignited.

(c) 2009 The Diamond-drops Warehouse

Thursday, December 10, 2009

又是星期二
舅舅不在家
婆婆和姑姑也上课去了
爸爸
我走了


你要去哪里?


我要回到我的家

这里不就是你的家?

爸爸给你吃
给你住
陪你玩
陪你睡
为什么要走?

爸爸
我追求的世界
不是你能给我的
你能给我自由吗?

我们家的门缝不是一直都开着吗?

可是这里不是我的家啊!

。。。。。。

爸爸对不起。。。

没关系。


我已经长大了
谢谢你对我的照顾
我的命运就是一只流浪猫
这个事实是无法改变的

你别这样

我知道你在生我的气
我答应你
当你咬我手指时
我不再掌你嘴
不再对你动粗

这不是你的错
我只是跟爸爸玩玩
没想到竟然伤害到爸爸
我是危险的动物
不应该留在你的身边

奈按呐。。。

当你们每个人都各自锁在自己的房间
我一只猫无所事事在家里闲逛
不知要做什么是好

我会用多一点时间来陪你!

不必了
爸爸
你要努力读书
忘记我吧

不!

我走了。
不和你道别了。
爸爸,姑姑,婆婆和舅舅要加油
以后离开金宝也要努力 知道吗?
不管我流浪在哪里
我都会祝福你们


谢谢你
奈按呐
去找寻你要的世界吧
当你在外受到伤害
记得要回来!
我们家的门缝 永远为你而开
道吗?

爸爸

我会独立的

应该不会再回来了


奈按呐。。。


Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Since Naan-neh came into our family, we have been lepak-ing, often returned at late night. After her second night with us, we found out she was missing by the time we can back from Ipoh.

I was expecting her to welcome us from the slightly opened glass door but she didn't. Dalamrumah pun tak nampak bayang dia. I panicked, searched high and low (around 0.5cm to 6 feet) for her till I almost nangis thinking he might already kong ka kiao under kereta.

Then I heard the noise coming from the loudspeaker family. The high-frequency voice of a girl shouting: "It's coming in!" I peeped across the street but saw nothing.

Later I told CC about it. We both went over. Without hesitation, CC immediately ran into the house even though there was a guy was about to getting on his bike. It was Naan-neh. We didn't even talk to the people. I just carried him all the way back to his home. To where he belongs.

The punishment began. CC warned Naan-neh not to simply enter stranger's house and gave her few tight slaps. She was still very 粘 CC but unwilling to come to me. He knew I was upset because of him. CC was asking me to carry and caress him but I refused. My emotion was all mixed up at that moment. I patted on his head and went up.

Naan-neh also ran up. We went back to our rooms respectively but she was sitting right in front of CC's room. I got out from the room and saw it there. CC came out too. Then he started meowing repeatedly. I assumed he was singing "I'm~sorry~" tune in a lyric called "Meow". I felt sorry for him but then, who feels sorry for me?

I knew I can't rear pets because I can be too emotionally-attached to them. Secondly, my desire to own a pet, or even a person is very strong. What's mine is mine, and will be mine alone. Sometimes when it comes to kids, I think I behave a little psycho too. When they were small, they were my darlings. But as they get older, they do not come to me anymore. Maybe it is because of this mentality I don't like young people (one of the reasons I supposed).

And I don't get why young people must always sit together in a cluster, instead of sitting with family. If my kids do that in future, I will give them few slaps and chain them to my arm, or maybe drip a few drops of wax to wax their feet.

I am such a psycho. Too bad, that's who Mord'Sith Elween is.

Update: Today, Naan-neh ran away for the second time. I doubt she will find her way back home (It's a she, actually).

Saturday, November 28, 2009

这,是继internet 后,我们家第二个游戏工具。

起来,我们和它还挺有缘的。昨晚cc和Ivy上日文课时,它悄悄跑进厨房里。6点多时,当我正想下去煮晚餐时,发现了这个小不点。本来还想一起把它丢到锅里一起煮的,就看在我还有cheese saussage 的份上就放过它。 我心慈悲为怀,本想收养它。可是因俩女外出,而祥明也回乡,不便做主。我便仁慈地用扫把把它轰出屋外到垃圾桶旁。


到了晚上,我把这件事说给cc听。她就怪我为何不收留它。我也很想把它养到肥肥嫩嫩呀,谁不想试吃猫肉呐?过后大家就算了吧,就当作没有缘分。

谁知(盘中餐,粒粒皆辛苦),第二天,那只小猫竟然爬上Ivy窗外的篱笆。我们发现了,便引猫入室。就在那一刻,就凭着我们之间的缘分及希望尝试猫肉的奢侈心,我们领养这个玩具。

它可了不起了。给他Quaker's Oat, 它不吃
,真以为自己命贵。过后我们出去dinner,便特地跑到Tesco买猫食和猫铃。 我们也为它布置了新家,它占有了我一只鞋。现在担心的是它不会在正
确的地方(Ivy 房间)大小便。



还好,猫咪有秋月姑姑的照顾,和灵采婆婆的叮咛,和伟杰爸爸的狎玩,它将活得多姿多彩
。对了,名字嘛,本来想叫它Knighto 的,可是又觉得没有自己的特色 (太过迷恋日剧里的机器人),最后还是叫他很有个性的名字~ 哪安呐。它赚到啦。



Friday, November 27, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 6 Part B

10/10/2009

Our flight was in the evening. Anuar promised to bring over a copy of pictures of joy and fun and season in the Sun we took during the "A Day with Anuar at a Cost of 170 Bucks" programme.

He couldn't make it. He had 'guests' to attend to. So I had to make a trip across the Sarah-wak river to the Malay village. At the waterfront, I was told on the first day of arrival by Chan that on Saturday evenings, wild kids (in terms of gangsters) would gather there to create problems.

Yes, that day was a Saturday. It was almost 5.00 pm and I was at the jetty. The number of that 'gang' was beyond my imagination. Flocks of Malay boys and girls were walking around, some young girls sat on their boyfriend's, or boyfriends' lap. They were shouting and running amuk. I, who was at the main jetty, where they ran after another gang on the road, took a quick turn and flew to another jetty, praying hard they would not spear something into my brain.

If they were to come after me, I already plan a sketch in my head: "No no no no...me no no...me Korea..no no no..." Maybe that would help if they attack me.

Even the boatmen do not wish to carry them across the river. These uncivilized rascals! They need my proper guidance. Send them to my room tonight and I will whip them one by one with my agiel (an stick which creates electrical-like pain used by the Mord'sith to torture people).

So I got over, he came out from his kitchen, telling me how long he waited at the jetty last night trying to reach me but my handphone wasn't work and bla bla bla. Others might buy his story but I don't. Because his mango fish cost me 60 bucks.

Thank you Chan for allowing us to stay until 6.00pm (we were supposed to be kicked out at 12.00 noon). We checked out from the inn, bid goodbye to Mike, who was there. We missed Nik. Chan called a taxi for us to bring us to the Kuching International Airport. And then? Bye bye...hope to see you soon...

Wait I go Hanoi first.

The VERY end.

Monday, November 23, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 6 Part A

10/10/2009

I permit you to skip this post. Do your skipping rope, starting...now!

Mission to visit to the museum was continued by Seng Ching and I only. We went to the Sarawak Museum to check the rest of the museums around there. But the natural history and art gallery was closed. So we walked to the textile Museum situation opposite the post office.

3 things I want to share with you. Yes, only 3. Just for your knowledge. (Fine...I know many of you would skip this part...)

(a) The earliest textile discovered was at Gua Niah, back in 40,000 years ago. I accidentally left it there during my last reincarnation.

(b) Scarf wore by olden Muslims in Sarawak were so much prettier with embroideries and shinny bits. Nowadays? Sigh...all I could say is to plead Datuk Bernard Chandra should really work with Jimmy Choo to really bring up the high fashion we once had.

(c) I found a picture of Renee Margaret (Charles Brooke's wife)!

(d) Ibanese traditional threads are made of wild ginger, palm, salt and oil.

(e) There was a picture of a Melanau man who looked like me.

(f) All the mannequin has beautiful hair but ugly-punched face, except for one which looks like Aishwarya Rai. I almost tip my toes to kill her lips since no one was around.


Done. We left for Satok Market or known as the Tamu Market. Main roads and lanes are packed with stalls built in tents. Items sold ranges from vegetables, sea products, snacks to even pets like dogs, fishes and flowers (Aunty Lucy taught me to treat a plant like a pet). Bought some souvenirs from there.


Done. Got back to the city, I went to the Greenhill Corner hawker centre alone. I must taste the chicken rice from this shop graded with a C in its hygiene (ops...) before leaving Kuching. The chicken rice stall is run by a Malay, it costs 4 bucks but taste way better than the Nasi Ayam Penyet at Nori 10 (I feel like doing the same to that lady like how she penyetkan the ayam). By the way, they used pickled cucumber instead of fresh ones! Yummy!

to be continued...

Friday, November 20, 2009

脱衣舞孃的肉秀

你回想起了当初当脱衣舞孃时的风光时期。

当初,除了你这位当红陪客舞孃之外,还有另一位貌美如花,身材火辣,魅力四射的舞孃刚刚加入你们的家族。由于年事已高,再怎么比,你也比不上那位年轻的妹妹。你憎恨他因为他将替代你的位子。而你将在不久后被打入冷宫。


一天,你们两位都被要求去陪酒。你恨不得把他毒死。可是你心属仁慈,不杀畜生。所以,你要用尽所有办法,来证明你仍能挥洒青春的色彩。


在倒酒时,他不小心,或许是故意的倒在你的大腿上。你突然抓狂,站了起来:


“你够了吧!”
他不甘示弱:


“想怎样啊你!”

旁边两位老板尝试劝阻却没用。
“别忘了我还是一姐,要懂得尊重我,小丫头!”
“你叫谁小丫头,老女人?”

“我有很老吗?我还很嫩很年轻!”
“你的肉根本就是过期猪扒吧!”


你简直气疯了。你从胸部哪儿掏出一把把冷刀。大伙都吓得惊慌失措!抓稳了,你直接向大腿后侧切下一块肉


“你看看,这才是新鲜的肉,你有得跟我比吗!” 说完,便把一团血肉赛进身边那位老板的嘴巴里。
“你好意思说新鲜? 哈哈, 不知羞耻!让你看看什么叫细皮嫩肉!”
说就掏出另一把把冷刀,往手臂内侧割下一条肉。他自豪地摇晃着那条肉,血滴不时滴在酒杯上。

“嗱,看看吧!”
说完就塞进另一位老板的嘴里。
“。。。你!”
你想要反击,可是一阵怒吼声从后方传来。


妈妈桑得到通知马上赶到。
“两个丫头都跟我闭嘴!你们那种肉根本不是嫩,是未成熟,没有经验,没有磨练过,是生肉!敢在我面前吵!”
说完自己又掏出了一把超级电锯。掀开了衣服,她的震撼全场的肚腩一览无遗。拍了 拍犹如海浪般震动的肚子,她就用电锯割开了一个圆圈,一大块肉就弹掉在桌子上,同时砸烂了几个酒杯。戴上了厨师帽,她从肚子内曝露出来的肠子切出一小截, 并分段。又把之前的肚腩分成小块,开始灌肠,变成了一条条香肠。

妈妈桑把一块块肉塞进四人的嘴里- 虽然两位老板已经晕厥过去了。
你和那位舞孃顿时感动,立即向妈妈桑下跪。
“这。。。这是最完美的肉质!我们知错了,妈妈桑!”
你们立即磕头。
妈妈桑双手叉腰,嘴角下摆 ‘哼’了一声,翻了翻白眼,把露出来的肠子放回里面,便继续叉着腰,转身扭动臀部离开。

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 5 Part B

9/10/2009

Forgot to add on, that I had to drag my right foot throughout the whole day. It was not painful anymore. It was only numbness I felt and smell of a dead limp.

As usual, rain gushed down in the afternoon. Strong wind blew like typhoon Ketsana, construction boards fell onto a car as we walked home in the rain, trusting our lives to the umbrellas we grabbed so tight in our hands. Aunty Lucy's I-told-you-not-to-go repeatedly hit into my head.

We finally made it back to the Inn. I went alone to take late lunch. I was forced to eat Wanton noodles after the chicken rice stall I wanted to try closed. The man gave me 7 balls of wantons with a price of only RM 2.80. But the wanton's taste was almost integrated into the taste of plain water till I can't even bring myself to snap a picture of it. I had to order a plate of carrot cake (Lobak koh) to stone the wantons to death.

Later in the night, Wendy didn't join us for dinner because her legs hurt. Mine too but I had to walk to the bank to withdraw money so might as well eat further downtown. Low and Behold, Nori 10 popped in front of our eyes, since we took another route to the bank! Seng Ching and I shared a plate of Nasi Ayam Penyet which costs RM 7. Disappointed with the food. Also the price.

We met Wendy back at B&B Inn downstairs to look for people to chat with. Then we found this man, called Mike who came back from Germany, who used to be a Malaysian (from Johor too). He seemed to know a lot of stuff. He kept emphasising his wish to get a girl friend in each country so that he will have companion to everywhere he goes. Hehe. Oh..like that la.

He mocked us for having a 6-day experience because normally, bagpackers like them, travel for at least 6 months to a year. The Finland guy beside us, for example, had traveled to Bali, Vietnam and now Sarawak, and will be continuing his journey in South East Asia quite some time. And he has one girlfriend each in different places he visited.

A Malay family checked in that night. 10 of them. They will be attending a wedding in Kampung Gersik (the layer cake place). The lie which was originally intended to be told during our visit to Anuar sister's place was finally put on stage.

My first lie in Kuching, most probably won't be the last. I told them we are Malaysian students, studying in Korea on a private scholarship that have returned for holiday. That lady was so curious and asked further. My palm was sweating as I didn't intend to establish the story further. I told them we are on a scholarship of Han Jin. One of her girls expressed her knowledge of this scholarship with excitement: "Oh, Han Jin! Yeah, yeah..."

Which I don't ever know what the heck does that mean.

The end.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Mother's secret magic potion

All these while you have been suspecting your mum for practising black magic.

One day late at night, you saw your mother pouring something into a pail in a bathroom.

She added water into the pail until the water brimmed over, and few pieces of clothe appeared on the surface out of a sudden. You saw her laughing to herself while sitting on a stool.

"It seems she really practises black magic!" you told yourself.

You went in the bathroom on the next day and hoped to find out what potion she has used to produce clothes out of water.

Beside a set of brushes, you found a box of powder, which was labelled as 'washing powder'. So you followed the procedure: You poured some powder into the pail and added water into it. You were frightened at first, seeing powder transforming into foams as it dissolved in the water.

You retreated and leaned against the wall behind you, as you watched the foams grow
 more and more, more and more. Both the bubbles and water overflowed and wet the floor. You turned off the water tap to prevent the floor from getting wet. The bubbles receded and peace was restored in the bathroom.

You felt extraordinarily weird. You mustered up  courage to test the water with your index finger, even though you stood far away from the pail. Nothing happened. You don't see clothes in the pail. It was only filled with water.


Just when you were wondering how your mother did the trick yesterday, she appeared right behind you, silently.
She sternly said:

"What, are you doing."


You were almost shocked to death. You replied:

"Noth..nothing, I was just...pouring powder into the pail...and..."


She interrupted: "for what purpose."


You trembled: "I...just wanted to try...and see..."


She continued with your phrase: "the proper method of washing clothes?"


Oh? that's right! Your mum was washing clothes yesterday!


You were embarrassed by your foolishness, and said:

"Yeah, I was learning how to wash clothes, haha~"


Your mum bended down and spoke to your ear: "Is that so?"


That gave you chills. You realised you have maligned your mum for practising black magic and you immediately apologised.
 

Your mum stood up slowly and calmly said: "It's late. Time for bed."


You nodded your head and smiled innocently. She replied you a warm smile and was ready to leave the bathroom.
Right before that, she turned 45 degrees back and said monotonously:

"The magic potion I used yesterday was detergent."


She let out in an evil laughter and left you alone in the bathroom. A lightning stroke across the sky and you dropped the pail of water on the floor.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 5 Part A

9/10/2009

This, is gonna bore some of you if you are not interested in 'museum'ological (whatever ok!) stuff. But at least, please read it through, my journal has to be complete with the following narration alright...please...read it...(Don't worry, no gun pointing at your head from behind. Only blowpipes.)

This day is officially known as the Museum Day, christened by Wendy the Great. A lot of walking was done around the city area, as most of the museums are scattered around it.

Chinese Museum was the first stop. The museum is under the care of a man, and him alone - which he emphasised a lot to make sure we give donation before stepping out from his territory.

Then the Pameran Merdeka sempena Hari Malaysia. Note that Sarawak joined the Federation on 16 Sept. A lot of handicrafts were sold, especially parangs.

Next, it's the SEBATI Museum, which recognizes hard work by women in Sarawak. The officer in charge face stink like bat faeces in the Fairy Cave. And you know what have I written on the comment column in the guestbook, don't you. Well, I wish her luck, if any of her supervisor sees it.

We arrived at the Indian Street, which obviously is more of a Chinatown instead. There's an Indian Mosque Lane, leading to a mosque. Along the lane, there are many visually-disadvantaged people selling tissue packets.

Next stop, Sarawak Islamic Museum. Galleries are divided into several chambers with themes like weaponry, architecture, arts and utensils. It's a museum filled with artifacts of the traditional Malay, Indian, Persian and Afghanistan. By the way, the body armour, as seen in the Legend of the Seekers, wore by the D'harans, is displayed in the gallery. It is so heavy!

Beside the Islamic Museum, it's the Tun Abdul Razak hall. It's another newly established museum. In the guestbook, Wendy's name was stated just right below the Ambassador of Brazil and his wife! The ambassador should be honoured to be on top of the Great Warrior, really.

The most memorable artifact to me, I would say it's the Rajah's book of account. Seeing his handwriting so close yet so far, made me so excited till I wanted to break the glass and steal the book and fly back to West Malaysia.

Across the main road, there locates the Sarawak Museum - consists of several building like ethnology museum, arts museum and I've-Forgotten Museum. There was a replicate of an Iban longhouse in it. Do you know that traditional Iban girls must not come down from their room (2nd floor) until the day they get married! They must be lonely.

The aquarium situated right behind the museum, was a huge disappointment till I don't even want to talk about it .


To be continued...

Monday, November 9, 2009

Sunday, November 8, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 4 Part C

8/10/2009

We went on to the next cave called the Lime stone cave, which is a minute away from the Fairy Cave. Anuar picked a few lime stones for us to bring back as souvenir. They are lovely with shiny reflection on the surface. I had to grab a few before losing out to others.

It's almost 5.00pm. The last cave we visited was the Wind Cave but the entrance was closed. We went down to the river side. I asked Anuar whether does he know how to throw a triple jump above water by using a stone. He said, choose stones which are flat and cylindrical. He demonstrated, so did William. Phew, these guys, their stones ran miles, all the way across the South China Sea! At least I succeeded a double jump for a few times.

There is an illegal path that leads to the cave. Wendy and the boys decided to take risk by entering in through a 90 degree climb using the tree root extended along the slope. Again, Smiley and I didn't join in the fun because to climb up is not a problem but coming down would definitely be dangerous.

We waited down there as they explored the cave. I almost fall asleep because the sky was drizzling, the weather was just nice for sleeping. They came down at last. Wendy had a fall somewhere up there. Anuar praised her for she has passed the test as a warrior.

We wanted to taste how Tuak, a kind of rice wine. Anuar said her sister might have it so we drove to Lidah Tanah, translated as the Soil's Tongue where his sister's family lives.

She kindly served us the famous colourful homemade layered cake. It was beyond delicious, even though we didn't have a chance to taste the wine because she doesn't have any left. Anuar's brother-in-law was very interested in the Belgium guy and hardly talked to us. We should have told him we came from Korea right from the start so that he would go ga-ga with us too.

Wendy had a crush on her second son and wanted to take picture with him. That poor boy didn't know what to do but to smile in front of the camera but nudged his mother behind secretly. Nothing escaped my pair of 'busybody scanner', you know.

I felt the elder son was neglected so I kindly talked to him. I asked him how old is he. He told me Standard 5.

Standard 5. He said Standard 5 right in front me. I almost skin him alive after knowing he is only 11 years old for that height. How dare he report this kind of audacious empirical value to me when he knew I am almost at his height!

The trip ended on a group picture with their family. Anuar sent us back to our lodge and we bid him goodbye with 75 bucks (we paid him 75 bucks early morning).

The end.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

被迫搬迁的蟑螂夫妻

当惯脱衣舞孃的你,就算在结婚后也按耐不住对其他人们展示你优美的身体。

然而,身为妻子的你却得时时刻刻警惕,维持良家妇女的形象。你唯一可以发泄的地方,就是在浴室了。可是,除了你丈夫以外,再也没有想以前这么多观众在台下为你欢呼了。你感到失望极了。


就在今天,你下定决心要恢复当年辉煌史,释放隐藏依旧的蛟龙。你在浴室的花洒下,让水滴溅在嫩滑皮肤上。不自觉地,你随着水滴声舞动身躯。

一只刚好顺道经过的壁虎看到了这一幕,便愣一愣。你发现他在看着你,你就情不自禁向他发电,并大送飞吻。壁虎跟你对望了几秒,便匆匆离开。

你很生气地拿着洗澡用的布瓜猛k 它的头。


什么意思*打*,看一看就走人*打*,老娘表演给你看*打*, 你一点都不赏脸*打*!”生气的你把花洒的温度调到最高。

瞄准了遍体鳞伤的壁虎,你发动了攻势,可怜的壁虎被活生生给烫死了。


亲爱的,发生什么事了?”关心你的丈夫在房外问候。

“没事没事,只是马桶有点阻塞了。” 你继续洗澡,忘记了这一段不愉快的经验。

这时一只蟑螂经过。你瞄准了目标,便又开始大跳性感舞蹈。蟑螂停了下来,看着你扭动身子。你依旧献吻和拨弄头发,发挥到淋漓尽致。蟑螂仍然停顿在那儿,欣赏你曼妙的舞姿。你心想,还是蟑螂识货,不像那只死壁虎。


过了两个小时,你的舞蹈终于被迫停止了。因为你的丈夫终于忍不住,冲进浴室看看你到底怎么了。他看见你在为一只蟑螂献舞。你慌了。


你在干嘛?

没。。。没什么。。。

“你在蟑螂面前跳舞,是吗! 你低头不语,泪流满脸。

你的丈夫心软了,走向前拥抱着你,对你温柔的说:
"以后别这样了,好吗。如果你喜欢的,我就穿上蟑螂装,你也可以为我跳舞啊。人家有人家的家庭,不要做他们的第三者好吗?

你轻轻点头,知错了。在拥抱你的同时,你的丈夫望着仍傻傻愣在那儿的蟑螂,并背对着你对他发送飞吻和抛媚眼。蟑螂承受不了这么大的压力,便匆匆溜走。


回到它的巢中,蟑螂对他的妻子说:“老婆,我们搬家吧!


蟑螂一五一十地把故事的来龙去脉告诉了它的妻子。妻子伤心地留下了眼泪。


我们还是快走吧!” 喷了喷香水,蟑螂便牵着妻子的手准备离开。

等一等!” 妻子喊道。

那壁虎夫人怎么办?
丈夫死了,他呆在这儿还有什么意义呢?一起离开吧! 蟑螂摸着妻子的脸颊,轻轻点了点头,便走向壁虎家,带着两位夫人远走高飞。

Thursday, November 5, 2009

肚子转移的秘密

你破门而出,犹如发狂似的奔向在客厅里阅读报纸的父亲。你捧着双脸,泪汗交接地在客厅里醉酒般的徘徊。

你说:“我的东西不见了!”

父亲放下了报纸,望了你一眼。问:
“什么东西不见?”
你说:“真的不见了。。。”

接着就冲向跪倒在父亲面前,抓着他的双手,又说:
“爸,我。。。我的东西不见了!”


母亲为了节省时间,连人带锅子且拖着煤气桶和煤气炉在后来到客厅,为一探究竟。


父亲:“冷静下来!”
威严的父亲握着你的双肩。
你说:
“父亲,我一向来都守得好好的, 从小到大,我不曾失去过,现在它却在运动会过后不见了!”


母亲:“运动会?” 她边炒菜,边疑惑的问。
你转过身子,疯狂投向母亲。母亲见状连忙拿起锅铲敲了你的头一下,你才冷静下一会儿。 你道:
"是,就是运动会的时候,可是我也不知是怎么不见的,妈,怎么办?"

又在投向父亲双膝下:“爸!” 又开始痛苦。

母亲冷冷烙了一句:“你。。。处女膜不见了?是因为跟教练吗?”

你发现事情有些蹊跷,转身向着母亲:“妈。。。”


母亲扔下了锅铲,颤抖式地摇头便从裤袋里拿出打火机。
你解释:“妈妈,并不是你想象的这样!我和教练是清白的!”
母亲泪洒满脸:“别再找借口了!” 打火机对准煤气桶一点,客厅一角爆炸声响起!

你呐喊:“妈~ !”

父亲也喊道:“你煮好了没有~ !”


就在一堆烧焦的爆炸物和烟熏中,露出了一锅美味可口的鲍鱼燕窝葛根汤。
你再回过头向父亲解释:“爸,我的处女膜还在,你要看吗?”,便搏命找裤头的纽扣。

爸爸接二连三地说不不不不,可是眼睛却不断往下瞄。
父亲握着你的瓜子脸,认真的问 :
“孩子,你,到底什么不见了?”
泪汪汪,望着地板的眼神渐渐升起,和父亲对望:“是肚腩。”

镜头拉远你们父女俩 的场景,来到了在你房门背后偷听的妹妹。
妹妹邪恶地暗笑,手中正抚摸着你从身上偷去的肚腩。。。

Monday, November 2, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 4 Part B

8/10/2009

Here's an interesting must-know hunting skill: Before embarking on your trip, grab a bunch of dry leaves on the ground and throw above your head. Take note of where the wind blows and walk the track against the wins. This is to prevent no animals would trace the smell of human body brought by the wind and then escape before the hunter arrive.

So who says indigenous people are not as brilliant as those who claimed having PHD and whatever title they are given! Their achievement does not need to depend only on a piece of paper. Their living survival skills are the best certificate ever (very agitated)!

Moving on to the Siam Village to look for the Giam Waterfall. It's not a wow-ing waterfall. Just a place where you can see many locals around. This place is not famous among tourists. We went down into the water. William was 'hooked up' by a local uncle, who was doing laundry by the river. Anuar got naked and jumped into the water while we just dipped our feet in the water by the rock in the middle of the river.

Too bad William didn't. Otherwise my camera battery sure gonna run low.

The journey continued all the way to Bau. It's a Chinese, also an ex-mining town. There is a famous lake called Tasik Biru. Apparently, the water is blue in colour. It's believed that the water is arsenic. Anuar told us about a legend of a sea monster living in the lake, and its size it's almost half of the lake (I can't stretch my arms wide enough to show you BIG it is).

Next stop was the Fairy Cave. To enter the cave we needed to climb a six-storey building. In the first part of the cave, there are wooden stairs for us to walk up but still it was difficult climb since they are wet and muddy. Then, we reached a platform.

"A whole new~ world, A new horizon point of view~..."
my soul sang and the orchestral instruments echoed in my head with an angelic choir of "ahh~" in my ears.

But that was not the end. Anuar decided to go in deeper into the cave, where bats live and leave their shits on the rocks.
I was like: "Ok, this is nice, this is fun, let's move on to KFC now, shall we?"

Nobody bothered me.

He took us further in. William, as a professional mountain climber, this was a piece of cake. He even wore a pair of slippers to climb! Each of us was given a torchlight, except Seng Ching and I, who shared the tiny little dimmed torch which caused us unable to see where to step on. And the camera in my hands was such a stumbling stone, afraid that the camera might fall and *priak*.

Until a point where there was a slope down below, Smiley and I decided to stop. Plus I didn't wish to further burden my injured right foot. Wendy who had a super large torch light hung over her shoulder continued the explore with the rest. We waited there for a while. The light was dimming and we could hardly see. When we turned of the torchlight, the cave turned into a Black Hole.

Then they returned. We went another way out, coming back to the platform. Some rested, some busy taking pictures.

Coming down from the building, we saw a green lizard. Anuar wanted to catch it. I want to kill it. Lucky for him to run off when I was unaware.

Then we saw an uncle. Let's called him the Coffee Man. He kept talking weird dialect to us repeating "Coffee coffee coffee...". Wendy said he wants money to buy coffee. Anuar gave him a buck and he happily worshiped him and left him there to imagine drinking water from the stalactite as coffee - which I have tried directly from it. It's very rejuvenating!


(To be continued...)

Saturday, October 31, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 4 Part A

8/10/2009

Early bird catches the worm. As Anuar promised to set off at 8.30 am, we were already all set by 8.15 pm. But the worm was caught in traffic jam. He arrived 1/2 hour later in his diamond-blue Naza.

The worm was not alone. Along with him was a big fat juicy delicious worm. It's William, the WORM!
Woohoo~! With him around I knew my hands would not stay quiet.

I mean busy snapping him with my camera.

Anuar bought a few buns (60 cents ONLY) to fill morning hunger. We traveled to the outskirt of area of the Kuching division. First destination was the Semengok Wildlife Rehab Centre, home to the orang utans. Anuar said we were lucky to see orang utans on that day because sometimes they would rather stay in the wild and not come out even during feeding hour. A lot of tourists taking pictures and watching them doing their stunt with their young. These apes knew they have to do their thing as bananas do not come free.

Next, we visited the Bunuk village. Yes, that's where the Bidayuh longhouse is situated. The road entering the longhouse is so narrow, even it is difficult for motorcycles to pass through. The longhouse, finally, appeared before our eyes. The houses are mostly made by bamboos and woods. What's special with Bidayuh longhouse is it is unlike Iban's. Houses are not only built in a stretch but also opposite to one another. Besides, A walkway can diverge into two or more, causing the longhouse to look less rigid.

Walking down to the riverside, we saw a granny who were about to leave after bath. She didn't like us taking picture. But I did took one, accidentally, before she voiced out her dissatisfaction. Of course I won't delete it (People don't call me Elween for nothing). Then there is another granny who was still washing clothes by the river. We went forth. Anuar started a conversation with her. Later I tried talking to her, and found out that the whole village 90% and above are Christians. She shared with me her faith in Christ who have healed her pain on her foot and was praising God for His healing power.

We got down into the river to wet our feet, and we found out that even with foams of soaps and shampoos in the river, there are still fishes around! They must be some mutated creatures.

After saying goodbye to her, we left the longhouse, finding that most of the houses are quite modernized. For bamboo sake, they even have plasma TV and Astro! I don't even have it. Better for me to return back to the jungle and sing o-yi-o.

And their stairs made me wonder how small the feet of Bidayuh people really are, especially stairs in their house. It's so impossible for normal-sized feet to walk up that kind of tiny tooth-saw steps!

Semadang hanging bridge was the next destination. Nothing much, just a hanging bridge. And a river. We went down to the river side. Unfortunately the water current was quite strong after a night of rain so didn't have a chance for a dip.

Coming up from the river, we took a rest in a shelter, set up in front of the hanging bridge. Anuar shared with his adventurous stories, how he survived when the storm wrecked his boat, and sleeping in the jungle alone around wild beasts. Whether true or not, don't hold me responsible. I am just a reporter. He also shared his hunting experience with the indigenous people (Penans, if I am not mistaken).

(to be continued...)

Friday, October 30, 2009

改编自coursemate 的一个status update:

原文为:
“不要追求外表,他会骗人;不要追求财富,它会消失。 追求一个能经常让你微笑的人吧,因为微笑会让你灰暗的世界豁然开朗,阳光明媚。
(Lin, 2009)

但还是现实好一点:
" 不要追求外表,他会骗人;不要追求财富。。。这怎么可能。追求一个能经常让你刷卡刷到爆的人吧,因为财富会让你灰暗的世界豁然开朗,阳光明媚。" ( Locke, 2009)


Taken from a status update from a course mate:

Original text: " Do not pursue appearance because it can lie; Do not pursue wealth because it will vanish. Pursue after someone who will always make you smile, as his smile will brighten up your world of gray, where the ray of sun could truly shine." (Lin, 2009).

But it's better to be practical:

" Do not pursue appearance because it can lie; Do not pursue wealth...that's impossible. Pursue after someone who can offer you to brush credit card until it ke-de-pa-boom, as wealth will brighten up your world of gray, where the ray of sun could truly shine." (Locke, 2009).


结束。

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuching - Day 3 Part B

7/10/2009

Instead of waiting for his return, we decided to go the Gersik village to see Dayang Salha's layered cake, famous for it's multi-color layer designs. We were allowed to enter the kitchen to see the procedures but unfortunately they only made Swiss roll on that day. Samples were placed on the table in the hall for free testing. F-R-E-E. So you can understand we needed the afternoon nap for at least 1/2 in the air-conditioned house, waiting for our bloated stomach to digest. Yes, that was what had happened at that time.

We headed back to Al-Fayad. Anuar finally returned. We ordered traditional food like Pansuh Manok, a traditional bamboo chicken cooked along with 15 kinds of herbs and Umai, an appetizer made of prawns marinated with lime and onions), and also their special's Al-Fayad Punch.

It took us 3 hours to have this meal! Gastric juice penetrated and burst out from our stomachs already. Plus, his appetizer and special punch were so sourish, adding to the pain of hunger we had to go through. He said the Pansuh would need 3 hours to prepare so we had to wait.

Then, Pansuh came. The wait was worthwhile when the smell flew out from the bamboo as he poured the essence from it. We began to eat like hungry wolves.

The whole meal costs 139 bucks. My heart cried thunderously, and I told myself, may the rain wash away the pain...

We spent the whole afternoon there since rain started to pour. He took out his giant umbrellas to keep water from splashing in. Since we had nothing to do, we sat down to discuss tomorrow's trip. Anuar came to us, telling us he also organizes trips (it's like rent-me-a-day kind of thing. But not as male escort, of course!), for 150 bucks per head. So we decided to tour with him, giving up the cultural village tour.

Anuar served us a cup of warm coffee as we were chit-chatting with one another, and also William.

William, a Belgium bagpacker who had been a week in Sarawak is very close with Anuar and his family. They called him their godson. He's a carpenter and also a brilliant mountain climber (yes, climb! those 90 degree's type of mountain!). He was extremely shy and quiet. All he did was smiled in his big built body and answered our questions for him one by one.

Anuar said he will be here for a month. He will bring him to travel across all regions of Sarawak, starting from the West all the way to the East (Bintulu and Miri). We were served a tiny portion of curry cooked by William with instructions from Anuar.

A little background info about Anuar, after an up-close interview with his wife:

He was a chef from Holiday Inn but quit to try his luck as an insurance agent. Due to tough competition from the Chinese, he couldn't continue in that line and also faced some legal problems. 6 months ago they moved to this place and established their own restaurant by their rented house and built the shelter all by himself. The name of his restaurant is named after his son, Fayad.

Monday, October 26, 2009

虽然拟个笑话已经重复很多遍,不过都仲係好好笑一下!

A:(悄悄地) “喂,有冇嗅到屁味?”
B:“有啊! 臭死了!"
A:“(假假作戏,大声说道)吚,边个掉着张十令吉?”
B:“喏~,麻
那个放屁的人掉各咯。”
C:“我
边度有掉钱咋(jek)?”
______________________________________

Anyway,
以下
係华语翻译成广府话,好搞笑下:

华语:

"现在不知道谁玩谁啊。告诉那麼多人你要挨打,害怕了!
拜托你用你发达的屁股想想,就是耍你又怎样啊。只有愚
蠢的人才会站在那裏傻等,蠢货!"

广府话:

(1)
"依家唔知边个玩边个啊。讲甘多人知你要挨打,惊啊呢!
唔该你用你发达嘅屁股捻下,玩你又点啦. 净系得蠢嘅人
先会企系果度傻傻甘等,蠢货!"

(2)
"而家唔知道边个玩边个?话给咁多人知你要挨打。
惊噜吧。唔该你用你发达既屎佛啉啉,就系玩你又点样。
只有愚蠢既白痴仔先会企起度傻等。蠢货!"
结束。

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 3 Part A

7/10/2009

Early morning, my right foot began to swell, it hurt so bad. Maybe I have strained the muscles yesterday.

We were all exhausted after yesterday's trip so we woke up quite late, thinking that since we were only exploring the opposite side of the city, which is Petra Jaya, a Malay village across the Sarawak River, we should have enough time to visit the places we intended.

By the way, the Spaniards checked out early morning.

What?! I didn't peep at Christina taking bath okey! It wasn't my fault that they left!

We went to the waterfront. There are several jetties at different locations. We walked to the front jetty right before the Khatulistiwa Cafe, which is the nearest to the opposite jetty. To cross over, you only need to pay a minimum amount of 40 cents. Remember not to ask the price because if the boatmen know you a tourist, they will charge you 2 bucks. But basically we just leave our coins on his boat. He didn't even to see how much we put.

In the boat, we met a man called Anuar. He introduced himself, telling us he has a restaurant right in front of the jetty. We went with him to have a look but continued our walk to the Magherita Fort. There was only an officer guarding the fort.

I was a little disappointed, not because the fort was small, because it was repainted fully white and lost the essence of 19th century's architectural feel. The reason behind was because at that time our paramount ruler was coming to officiate the use of the new building beside the fort as the State Assembly Hall! They wanted to make it look new to welcome him. So angry!

I found a cannon which exactly shares the same birthday as me!
and I touched lots of hairy skulls which I thought were coconuts for displayed. T.T

After the visit, we returned to Al-Fayad, Anuar's restaurant. He had gone out to the airport so we were attended by his Melanau wife with guestbook and pictures. She shared with us her traveling experience (like Anuar, she travels often) and suggested to go into the real longhouse at the Borneo border.

(Part B to be continued...)
_______________________________________________________________

By the way, when I found out Muhyddin was coming to the school, I wanted to do humiliate them at the balcony by telling them: "I have already met him in person, you small kids are so slow, blueh blueh blueh~!"

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 2 Part B

6/10/2009

The walk was finally over. I was so glad since our body is wet and smelled of mud. Escaped from the jungle and signed off, we headed back to the jetty. A bus was waiting there so we quickly hopped onto it (actually we planned to visit the Buntal village but time did not permit us to do so).

Rain started pouring again. We stopped by the shop lots and bid goodbye to Alan. Since the monsoon rain was coming strong, we decided to have a late lunch at the open air market, which is not open air at all. I order another bowl of Kolo noodle, which was nothing similar to the one we had yesterday. The soya drink was very fresh and is recommended in a guide I read yesterday.

Back to the hostel, 6 backpackers/students from Spain checked in the dorm. Only one of them can speak and understand English better and her name was Christina. Pablo is hot though.

Anyway, I had a little chat with her. Before I continue, we were being told by Chan that Muhyddin was coming to the school located right behind our hostel. Kids were practicing clapping and bands were busy strumming their stuff.

So Muhyddin appeared on the TV during news so I told her that the guy in the screen is our Deputy PM and was here at the school in the afternoon. For kolo noodle sake, I spent more than 3 minutes explaining what deputy PM is and she still couldn’t understand. Forget it. I gave up communicating with her for boob-watching since she was wearing a low-cut anyway.

As they left for dinner at night, we went ours.

Thought of finding a Cafe called Nori 10 but failed. It's a Dayak traditional family-run restaurant but at the end we found Top Spot Food Court, which turns out to be a seafood heaven located at an open air building at level 6. Lots of fresh living seafood. We thought seafood might be a little too expensive. Among all the seafood stalls, we found a tiny steak stalls so I ordered a beef steak. which tasted like shxt. Don't ever try that stall with Maggi signboard.

But Seng Ching and I ordered a plate of curry Bamboo clam. Ehm~ first time eating this kind of creature. It tastes great!

After dinner, we went to the office to grab people to talk with us. Then we found Nik, a photojournalist who has stayed at B&B for more than 4 years (he was from Kelantan).

He introduced us many places where usually tourists do not get to go. And wherever we go, he said, all we need to do was to announce his big name and we will be welcomed. He was such a talker. It was interesting for the first one hour. His voice became drowsier in my head after talking for almost 3 hours.

And he is one unethical photojournalist as he shared with us his experience in collecting pictures in places like hospital. But I guess journalists need to be unethical at some point to get what they want.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 2 Part A

6/10/2009

Today’s plan is to explore the Bako National Park. We took a No.6 bus from the Petra Jaya station (there are several stations so you need to study which leads where) to the Bako village. The fare costs RM 2 per trip. It’s a ½ hour ride. On the way to the station, Wendy bought a newspaper under the overhead bridge. The newspaper vendor told her the paper cost 2 bucks. She gave him 2 bucks right away. The kind newspaper vendor told her he was pulling her leg, and advised her to be aware of cheaters around. The actual price of newspaper was only a buck.

So we got up the bus. A Mr. Miss was sitting behind me. She/He is more masculine than I am, there was no way to hide that BIG body under his/her long hair and thick make-up. Upon reaching the Bako village, some secondary school boys who got onto the bus started making fun of her. I felt bad for her but…she really needed liposuction.

We finally got down from the bus at the jetty. To reach the park, we need to take a 20-minute boat ride which costs 47 bucks per trip (thunder lightning strikes) carrying a maximum of 4 passengers. There were only 3 of us. Then we got to know this man called Alan, who was on the same bus with me too. He is a British citizen working at Shanghai. Since he was given a week off during the China’s national day celebration, he came to Kuching for 3 days.

So we got off shore bare-footed and walked to the counter. We had to register for the trail we wanted to go before going on our own. Ok this is another stupid act from me: You see, the word ‘trail’, made me think of those too-too trains at the zoo, where they carry visitors around the place to see animals. Little did I expect ‘trail’ here means ‘jungle-tracking’. We even took the 3 ½ hours Lintang trail which lasted approximately 5.8 km! I tried hard to hide the ‘grumpiness’ in me since there is an outsider with us.

My room has more insects and animals than the national park (=.=). But along the way there are lots of giant plants and rocks and also yellow streams (I believe it’s sulphuric). Throughout the journey, it rained and stopped twice. Wendy gave Alan her umbrella and I gave her my hat. She had her Dragonball fan all along. We stopped somewhere and Alan shared his bread with us . He shared a bit of his stories and also his sister-in-law’s working as a freelance journalist for an IT company.

Part B to be continued...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Week without Sunday in Kuchxng - Day 1

5/10/2009

I shall save the details on our flight. In brief, I traveled to Melaka to meet the girls, took a bus up to LCCT, spent a night at the airport and took off at about 7.30 am.

Smiley-looking Chan, the owner of B&B Inn picked us up from the airport, holding a card with my name on. While walking out of the airport, I thought the Pajero was his as he walked to the driver seat (which in fact, he was just crossing the road). I waited at the Pajero and they were looked at me and said: “what are you doing?” The answer from me was surely, “Nothing~”.

He took a detour around the Cat city, telling us what place is this and that. After checking in, we were led to our room by Lily, one of the workers whom we are not close with. We had a double-decker and a queen-sized bed which can accommodate 4 persons in the room.

Chan introduced us a place near the Carpenter streets where we can taste one of the famous hot spot for Kolo noodle (it's at Bishopgates lane if I am not mistaken). He warned us: The boss does not take order. He might be infuriated if he is disturbed. The next thing you will be seeing is his ladle knocks on our foreheads and possibly banishes us out of the garden of Meeden. So, what we did was waited outside for our turn since the petite shop only accommodates 11 tables. We waited ½ hour because some aunties are really good at cutting cues and we, city idiots, were clueless how rules were played.

After seated, a lady came to take order. Then food was served. The soup filled with pig-intestines and other parts smells great. It tastes great if you fancy this kind of gourmet. That’s so much about it. After lunch, we got back to our hostel. Nobody checked in that day so we had the whole house by ourselves. We tried to catch up some sleep in the afternoon.

By the time we woke up, it was already early evening. We decided to walk around few shopping plazas. First, we went to the Sarawak Plaza. Wendy bought a Dragonball paper fan. Then we proceeded to Tun Jugah, another building opposite it. I told myself next time if anyone ever mention Kuching is a shopping heaven, I am gonna gun him down myself. These two plazas are not fit to be called shopping centre at all! (But then after a few days, the local told us if we want to go shopping, we should go to the Spring or Boulevard instead, which is a driving distance from the city spot).

Filled with despair, we must have some meal for dinner to compensate our emotional loss. We came to a restaurant called Sambal. I ordered a plate of Dabai Fried Rice. I didn’t know what Dabai was. Neither do the workers. One of them even said that day was her first day working and she doesn’t know anything so I ‘kindly’ requested another waiter to check it with the kitchen. It turned out Dabai is a kind of fruit which looks like dates. The food was just fine, nothing special.

After dinner, rain started pouring. We walked under the rain back to the hostel. Watched a comedic movie and toasted bread for supper (bread, marjerin and kaya were meant for breakfast), while flipping through some travelbooks displayed on top of the table by the television. I turned in quite early because the next day, we are going to the Bako National Park.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A Week Without Sunday in Kuching - Prelude

My six-day experience living as an East Malaysian has finally ended two days ago when the plane touches the LCCT airport. Thank you for welcoming my victorious returning. Before going deeper into stories of my daily activities spent there with Seng Ching and Wendy, I thought I might just share a little 'introduction' on our trip.

We have 6 days to travel. Thus, we planned to go away from the city alternately on the third, third and fifth day, while the second, fourth and sixth will be on city tour on our own.

Like I said before, we are not so much interested in tourist spots. We want something natural and original other than watching performances. Instead of joining a large group, we have decided to go places on our own. However, transport in the Kuching division is very underdeveloped. Travel to a place itself would take us a day even it's only a half an hour drive from the city.

We stayed in a place called the B&B Inn (B&B stands for bed and breakfast), which is the only lisense hostel for backpackers. There are lots of unlicensed Inn around like Borneo B&B which is few shops down the road. We were arranged at its new wing called Fendy's Lodge located at the next street, and the shop house is fully air-conditioned, with facilities like television, DVD player, refrigerator and water heater. We were charged 18 bucks per day for a room.

We traveled quite a few places, the famous ones including Fort Margherita, Bako National Park, Semengoh Wildlife Centre, a variety of Sarawak museums, authentic Bidayuh longhouse and many more interesting places. I will explain one by and one according to our daily schedule.

Of course, we wouldn't want to miss good food, especially the traditional ones here. Pictures of every meal here were snapped with my personal 'commentaries', helping you to make decision where and where not to go to if you've got any chance to visit that land.

One thing about men in Kuching - whether the locals or bagpackers - they like to smoke! Somehow, I have learned to adapt different types of tobacco smells. At least I have learned that living in this world, when things are not going according to our likings, we have to learn to adapt it. Though it might be harmful, it's not long term. So just bear with it.

So, that's all for now. Bear with me for the next 2 months or so for you will be reading my travel guide in Kuching. In fact, you should be thankful that I am sharing precious information without charging a cent! You won't get to read this elsewhere unless the money-minded side of me decided to publish my experience for sale (and the possibility is high...).

今天坐火车(回家乡时)的站长很帅!清洁员工们也很。。(痉挛)。。勤。。勤。。勤劳。

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009




铁齿的爸爸

Monday, September 28, 2009

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I have decided to write a letter of appreciation to neighbour across the street for the noise they make during as early as 3.00 am. And these people disturb my sleep every night, so I guess I need to be Superman for the day to stand against the injustice.

I wrote a little note yesterday morning, telling myself, by hook or by crook, I must shove it into their mailbox. It was a solitary action, none of my housemates knew my secret plan. They were all asleep. I put on a pair Hawaii blue print shorts, walked out in a pair of white mules from my house, half-naked.

I gotta make sure that no one was around to witness my disguise as Mr postman. The street was clear, quiet as it seems. I opened the house gate, ready to carry out my mission.

Then a motorcycle passed by. It was their next door neighbour. I quickly teleported myself back into the house to make sure nobody saw what this tiny creepy guy was doing. Fortunately, they didn't realized that. I waited for them to get into the house, long enough to make me write another note to urge them keep up with their petty paces with the today's giant move in view of the development of globalization! Ga! And both of them are guys.

Finally, they entered the house and I took the chance to sneak out for the second attempt. Once again I scanned through the neighbourhood, noticed that no one was spying me, I fastened my footsteps crossing the road.

Upon reaching their mailbox, that two fellows who just came back (their neighbours) came out from their house. I was almost like only 20m away from them. I told to myself, crap, what am I supposed to do? I can't turn and run, nor can I throw the piece of note at their face and say "now you are satisfied in making me a fool, huh!". I pretended I didn't see them and left the note in the mailbox of the noise crackers. Then I immediately dashed across the street, naked (as if I was delivering own porn merchandise), back to my comfort home drinking bottles and bottles of vodka to shut the nerves.

I do not know whether they are friends or not. Based on my observation as a peeping tom for the past few months, they have no whatsoever interaction with each other. (When they made a lot of noises, I tend to wake up in the middle of the night, open the window and purposely slam the window. I know I know... I acted like a child, but what the heck.)

So now. Applaud me for the responsibility I took on to save all my neighbours' night. But I do believe my sleepless experience last couple of days was not caused by the noises but because of the batteries of my biological clock run flat.

Quick, clap! Let me have my moment before they pour acid at me.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

高跟鞋奶奶讲故仔


High Heel Granny: "Once upon a time, it was said that there is a sea monster in a lake of a Perak state university..."

High Heel Granny: "...And from what I heard, it was frightened to death by a university student. The corpse looks terrifying!"

You: "Hihi, granny!"

High Heel Granny: "Ooo...I won't say anymore, just pretend I did not say anything at all!!"

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

昨晚梦见了大s 和小s, 可是梦境很像不是我想象中的好。

感觉上,我应该是因为喜欢他们最后成了他们的朋友。

有一天,我就在他们的车上,大s 是司机,小s 坐隔壁而我一人在后。我们有聊天,可是忘记内容了。没记错的话,应该是一辆很像kancil的红色小车。

然后,我们就到他们家。 大s 说他要赶去拍戏,没时间载我回家。小s 又不想麻烦,然后没有人愿意送我回去。徐妈妈这时出来 (我们都在外面,一个很小很陈旧的花园和停车场),就一直叫小s 送我回去。他很不甘不愿地答应了。

我们过后来到了一个美食中心,打算吃了晚餐才回家。吃着吃着,小s 终于忍不住对我说:“你喜欢我就喜欢我就好了,干吗一直来我们家?又要麻烦我们一直载上载下?"

我的心,碎了。

梦醒来后,心虽然还是很受伤,可是还是很想骂一句: “拽个屁啊,最多我自己驾车去你们家啦。。。”

亲爱的小s, 这只是一场梦,相信你的人应该很好的吧,不会这样对我的,是吗?加油了,我支持你唷!

所以。。。明天几点来载我去你们家玩?
(迷糊中听到小s 抓狂:“还载个屁咧!”)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

The vodka bottle

You, anxiously push your way through a doctor's clinic.

You: "Doctor, please save me! My hands have been trembling since two hours ago, and I have rashes all over my body, and, and, I feel like my head is about to explode! Doctor please save me, I don't want to die...I don't wanna die..."


You collapse on his table and lamented. Nurses around the doctor are all frightened away by your behaviour. One of them asks the receptionist to report police. The doctor raises his hands to stop the nurse.
He looks at you in the eyes and says: "Calm down, my friend. All you need to do is to release that bottle of vodka in your hand."

You are in shock. Looking at the bottle you hold tightly in your shivery hands and also the doctor, you pull yourself together and stand up. You hold the bottle even closer to your chest and refuse to listen to his instruction.


Doctor: "Come on, give it to me..." He reaches out his hands. You shake your head, make a u-turn and run out from his clinic.


The friendly doctor stands up and runs to the reception counter outside.
He tells the receptionist: "Call the police, quick. That mad man (woman) has stolen something away from me."

The doctor then turns around and let out an evil grin, as he enters back into his clinic to attend his next patient...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Elween: "那,给你*多妈多*。我不要,你拿去。”
Ivy:“谢啦。”
Elween:“快点,给我你的大葱。”
Ivy:“不要。”
Elween: "吝啬鬼!”
Ivy:“好啦,给你啦!”
Elween: "嗯,good. 至少不是很吝啬的鬼。”

注:*多妈多* = tomato

~*&*~


You all think I am a dictionary?

I know what is right, what is wrong?
You all think I know everything?
You all think I am a theory genius?
You all think it is easy for me to say you are right, which in fact you all are wrong, but maybe me myself is wrong?
You all think I don't need to bear the guilt?
You all think I have not done enough to explain the basic definition to you all?
You all think I need to feed you every little details till we all write the same thing during the exam?
You all think I am a terrible person?
Maybe you all are right, especially when you all depend too much on me, thinking I know everything from head to toe!
If I hide myself from MSN at this critical period, you all will say I am not trying to help, if I appear in MSN you all will ask every little question that often goes so deep! I can help you with the basic knowledge which I know, and it's limited. What do you all expect some more!

I AM JUST LIKE ANYONE OF YOU!

You can hate for how long you want, but only for this period, I allow. Starting from next sem, love me again. Because I love you all.