I have decided to write a letter of appreciation to neighbour across the street for the noise they make during as early as 3.00 am. And these people disturb my sleep every night, so I guess I need to be Superman for the day to stand against the injustice.

I wrote a little note yesterday morning, telling myself, by hook or by crook, I must shove it into their mailbox. It was a solitary action, none of my housemates knew my secret plan. They were all asleep. I put on a pair Hawaii blue print shorts, walked out in a pair of white mules from my house, half-naked.

I gotta make sure that no one was around to witness my disguise as Mr postman. The street was clear, quiet as it seems. I opened the house gate, ready to carry out my mission.

Then a motorcycle passed by. It was their next door neighbour. I quickly teleported myself back into the house to make sure nobody saw what this tiny creepy guy was doing. Fortunately, they didn't realized that. I waited for them to get into the house, long enough to make me write another note to urge them keep up with their petty paces with the today's giant move in view of the development of globalization! Ga! And both of them are guys.

Finally, they entered the house and I took the chance to sneak out for the second attempt. Once again I scanned through the neighbourhood, noticed that no one was spying me, I fastened my footsteps crossing the road.

Upon reaching their mailbox, that two fellows who just came back (their neighbours) came out from their house. I was almost like only 20m away from them. I told to myself, crap, what am I supposed to do? I can't turn and run, nor can I throw the piece of note at their face and say "now you are satisfied in making me a fool, huh!". I pretended I didn't see them and left the note in the mailbox of the noise crackers. Then I immediately dashed across the street, naked (as if I was delivering own porn merchandise), back to my comfort home drinking bottles and bottles of vodka to shut the nerves.

I do not know whether they are friends or not. Based on my observation as a peeping tom for the past few months, they have no whatsoever interaction with each other. (When they made a lot of noises, I tend to wake up in the middle of the night, open the window and purposely slam the window. I know I know... I acted like a child, but what the heck.)

So now. Applaud me for the responsibility I took on to save all my neighbours' night. But I do believe my sleepless experience last couple of days was not caused by the noises but because of the batteries of my biological clock run flat.

Quick, clap! Let me have my moment before they pour acid at me.

高跟鞋奶奶讲故仔

High Heel Granny: "Once upon a time, it was said that there is a sea monster in a lake of a Perak state university..."

High Heel Granny: "...And from what I heard, it was frightened to death by a university student. The corpse looks terrifying!"

You: "Hihi, granny!"

High Heel Granny: "Ooo...I won't say anymore, just pretend I did not say anything at all!!"

昨晚梦见了大s 和小s, 可是梦境很像不是我想象中的好。

感觉上，我应该是因为喜欢他们最后成了他们的朋友。

有一天，我就在他们的车上，大s 是司机，小s 坐隔壁而我一人在后。我们有聊天，可是忘记内容了。没记错的话，应该是一辆很像kancil的红色小车。

然后，我们就到他们家。 大s 说他要赶去拍戏，没时间载我回家。小s 又不想麻烦，然后没有人愿意送我回去。徐妈妈这时出来 （我们都在外面，一个很小很陈旧的花园和停车场），就一直叫小s 送我回去。他很不甘不愿地答应了。

我们过后来到了一个美食中心，打算吃了晚餐才回家。吃着吃着，小s 终于忍不住对我说：“你喜欢我就喜欢我就好了，干吗一直来我们家？又要麻烦我们一直载上载下?"

我的心，碎了。

梦醒来后，心虽然还是很受伤，可是还是很想骂一句： “拽个屁啊，最多我自己驾车去你们家啦。。。”

亲爱的小s, 这只是一场梦，相信你的人应该很好的吧，不会这样对我的，是吗？加油了，我支持你唷！

所以。。。明天几点来载我去你们家玩？
（迷糊中听到小s 抓狂：“还载个屁咧！”）

The vodka bottle

You, anxiously push your way through a doctor's clinic.

You: "Doctor, please save me! My hands have been trembling since two hours ago, and I have rashes all over my body, and, and, I feel like my head is about to explode! Doctor please save me, I don't want to die...I don't wanna die..."

You collapse on his table and lamented. Nurses around the doctor are all frightened away by your behaviour. One of them asks the receptionist to report police. The doctor raises his hands to stop the nurse.
He looks at you in the eyes and says: "Calm down, my friend. All you need to do is to release that bottle of vodka in your hand."

You are in shock. Looking at the bottle you hold tightly in your shivery hands and also the doctor, you pull yourself together and stand up. You hold the bottle even closer to your chest and refuse to listen to his instruction.

Doctor: "Come on, give it to me..." He reaches out his hands. You shake your head, make a u-turn and run out from his clinic.

The friendly doctor stands up and runs to the reception counter outside. He tells the receptionist: "Call the police, quick. That mad man (woman) has stolen something away from me."

The doctor then turns around and let out an evil grin, as he enters back into his clinic to attend his next patient...

Elween: "那，给你*多妈多*。我不要，你拿去。”
Ivy：“谢啦。”
Elween：“快点，给我你的大葱。”
Ivy：“不要。”
Elween: "吝啬鬼！”
Ivy：“好啦，给你啦！”
Elween: "嗯，good. 至少不是很吝啬的鬼。”

注：*多妈多* = tomato

~*&*~

You all think I am a dictionary?
I know what is right, what is wrong?
You all think I know everything?
You all think I am a theory genius?
You all think it is easy for me to say you are right, which in fact you all are wrong, but maybe me myself is wrong?
You all think I don't need to bear the guilt?
You all think I have not done enough to explain the basic definition to you all?
You all think I need to feed you every little details till we all write the same thing during the exam?
You all think I am a terrible person?
Maybe you all are right, especially when you all depend too much on me, thinking I know everything from head to toe!
If I hide myself from MSN at this critical period, you all will say I am not trying to help, if I appear in MSN you all will ask every little question that often goes so deep! I can help you with the basic knowledge which I know, and it's limited. What do you all expect some more!

I AM JUST LIKE ANYONE OF YOU!

You can hate for how long you want, but only for this period, I allow. Starting from next sem, love me again. Because I love you all.

西湖的水怪

就在一个夜黑风高的夜晚，你在霹雳州的一所大学里的湖畔独自漫步。没有人在陪在你身旁，只有夜风在湖面上宁静游走的拍打声。

据说一到深夜，湖中的水怪就会出现，纯粹只为了以他恐怖的面容吓唬人类直到屁滚尿流。水怪留着一头湿滴滴的长发，其中还穿插着从深湖中捞到的水草。有着就连绑上5000年牙套也绑不齐的牙齿，鱼粪堆积在眼白两旁和干枯了的眼角膜，再加上布满鳞片的身躯与树根皮般的手指，这一辈子嫁不出去的水怪，把失望化成力量来对付人类对它的漠视。

就在今日，你出现了。有一股力量似乎尝试把你引到湖的最旁边，你也随着他股诡异的力量，任由它摆布。水怪抓准时机双手一伸，就朝着你的脚跟一抓！ 他那恐怖又不满虫子的的半身露出了水面，发尾的水还滴到了你的脚。水怪的双眼发直，朝着你的瞳孔里望进去，并且露出了参差不齐的牙齿和发达的牙床。

你，这时惊慌的望着水怪！ 你发现他一直盯着你在看，便回头看一看自己身上是否有什么东西， 可是你的身上也没有什么东西奇怪啊。他继续盯着你，双手仍抓紧你的右脚。你感觉很奇怪，就蹲前去和他对望。

露出牙齿的水怪发现是有蹊跷，他上唇不知觉慢慢塌了下来。他的眼睛仍望着你，但力量已经减低。他紧紧抓着你脚的双手也似乎慢慢松开了，同时你还感受到他手在颤抖。过了五分钟，你仍在看着他，他的视线也没离开过你。双手松开了，眼神却开始显得惊慌，呼吸变得更急速。只见他露出的身子慢慢地，慢慢地潜入湖中。就连他在把头完全退进湖中是，他望着你的眼神还是惊恐的。

你也望着他颤抖着身子，沉入湖中。在半蹲着的你站直，清一清肩膀上的灰尘，继续在湖畔边散步。

隔天早上，大学里来了许多警察。大家都围绕在一个地方； 在一具尸体旁。你为了凑热闹，也蹦蹦跳跳地向前去探个究竟。才发现，原来尸体就是那水怪！你也感到莫名其妙，心想，昨晚他还不是好好的吗，抓了我的脚过后又回到湖里。

水怪，其实还不是你还死的，你还在此说风凉话！昨晚，你疑惑的看着水怪的眼神，吓得他魂不守舍。最后，他受不了精神折磨便双腿伸直，投岸自尽。就因惊吓度已经超过一般人能够想象的境界，水怪的尸体竟然还不断的流尿，屁不多的滚出来。响亮的屁声，更是为了要向警方申冤，告知他们昨晚发生的一切，告诉他们你，才是杀死他的凶手！

Yes，ain't translate this into English. Just to let you know that, this post is dedicated to you.

结束。

不好意思，我事先没有申明这是一个bilingual 的Blog，因为有时候手贱就很想烙几句华语，有时又想写一写abc。有时候还是觉得华语比较能够深入民心，用华语洗人也比较专业。我爽爽就夹着八国语言，就要看你们是否有这个语言天分了。哦。。。 我看还是算了，免得这个blog到最后因为水准过高而没有读者。

哎哟，开玩笑的啦。。。最多你们读多一些字典呀。。。。
闭嘴。

今天睡到11点才起床。postman 今天敢敢跟我在11 点时就到了。我家的门还在睡觉叻！不知道parcel有没有送到。我可不想又到post office 看金宝外星人的脸色。

今天是？ 星期三！ 星期三的意义是什么？ 就纯粹只是期待pasar malam 的到来。好显啊。。。想到考试就头晕。头晕过后又要面对考试，然后考试时又头晕，就在头晕的同时，我又得考试。所以，考试与头晕，根本就是 causal-relationship effect. 受不了。

好懒惰洗衣啊！ 我已经两个星期没有洗衣了。衣服穿在身上就觉得，咦，怎么那么‘贴’身。哎，算了，反正study week 里不用出去见人，臭气也只有自己的身体和灵魂相投。有时间就读读书，要不就想想办法在crazy taxi 里把高分的人干掉。

好啦，说了很多废话了。反正得空就来坐坐吧。再有多的时间就click click 周围的advertisements 吧。对你身心有益，顺便积积德吧各位。

结束。