对牙刷的记忆

夜深了。在你要睡觉之前，你记得好像有一件事要做。你只记得牙刷这个名词，却忘记了有关这物品的动词。

你心想：“牙刷，到底是事要用来做什么呢？”

牙刷，牙刷。。。你想了很久，就依稀记得高跟鞋奶奶说过，牙刷就是拿来刷牙的。你拿起了牙刷，看着镜子便顺着牙齿刷了下去。

妈妈在洗手间外一看见就赏了你一个耳光。你直接飞扑跌倒马桶旁，嘴角流出血丝。

妈妈：“谁教你牙刷是用来刷牙的！”

妈妈从你手中的牙刷抢走，便开始拿来说眉毛。

你心想：“原来牙刷是拿来刷眉毛的。我真是个糊涂蛋。”

不久，爸爸冲了进来。把妈妈举起来把她抛向马桶上。妈妈的腰打到马桶的蓄水箱，被折成两半，不断吐血。

爸爸：“一个两个都没用！说明是牙刷了，当然是拿来刷腋毛！” 说着就举起手臂，顺着犹如52寸平面电视宽度的腋毛刷了好几遍。

这时，高跟鞋奶奶气冲冲地进来对着爸爸呐喊：“你们可以不要在孩子的面前乱乱教吗！牙刷就是拿来刷牙的好不好！”

你心想：“对呀，我都记得高跟鞋奶奶曾经说过牙刷的确是拿来刷牙的啊！”

不久你听见了两声洪亮的枪响。高跟鞋奶奶血淋淋地倒下在浴室旁。躺在马桶蓄水箱上的妈妈和站在洗手盆旁的爸爸手中各持着一把还在冒烟的抢。

爸爸：“不是说老人家的话你都可以信的。”

妈妈：“尤其是装假牙的。”　说完便往冒烟的枪口吹了吹，又晕死在蓄水箱，继续吐血。　

爸爸：“老婆！老婆！救命呀！救命呀！”
你拿着爸爸掉下来的牙刷，莫名其妙地走出洗手间。

This, is ancient civilization.

No words have passed through the livings but only buried alongside corpses sunken into deep seabed somewhere six millennia ago.
Until one day the name of this lost glory was brought to light, its glory restored.

The stories recorded unveiled as telltale of the unique cultures you have ever witnessed in any of the ancient civilizations we have seen or heard of.


Prepare to immerse yourself in an unexplored world to discover its unraveled beauty of its culture and vicious practices.

Join me, as well we travel across time and space, into the civilization of


COMING SOON

我发现很多时候我的英文和反应烂到要死。要不然就是听到recorder 中自己发问的英文腔，更是怪里怪气的。要不然就句子不完整，通常都已“How to say..ehm...yeah...like that..." 来作结尾。

回到报社要brief 主编时，更是直接变哑掉。business reporting 不像其他新闻能够直接什么都丢出来，至少在我intern的地方，他们才不稀罕我们收集到的呕吐物。可是很奇怪的是，我的副主编和主编都有很大不同的见解。可以说是拥有天壤之别的意见。

天壤之别不是个很难的成语,ok! 我的华语没有那么烂！把你惊讶的下巴收起来！

一直以为自己抓到诀窍了，后来才发现，我抓到的诀窍只是level one 的。 =.=

两个月里，只是pass level one. 还蛮丢脸，自己觉得超失败的。

每当他问起什么什么什么时， 我就只会 “啊？鲁恭虾米？”， 然后那个手就一直抓头，右眼皮一直跳。

失败啊，失败。

真担心我时不时不适合做这行。很努力很努力的想要做到最好，可是受承认的次数应该不超过十次以上吧。说赞赏的，挺多也是那么两次而已。而且都跟business 无关的。

应该没有做business writer的好命吧。

我们这种，就是天生走苦命路线。那种流浪啦，被别人催骂，赶来赶去的那种工就最适合我了。那种穿西装打领带的还是走远一点吧，我们都不是same world 的。看到我都觉得碍眼吧。你以为我看到你们很爽么。

拽个屁啊， 那个大牌老板。想到就好想巴他两巴。

好啦。算啦。我是又学到东西啦。多数都是靠自己揣摩出来的。靠自己的实验多一些。华盛顿埋不是等苹果跌下来才变总统的。算啦，大家都这样过来的。

你们！ 就让我发发牢骚不可以吗？facebook就是让我宣泄的地方。不想听到我哭天叫地，就hide掉我啦！

你舍得meh, you tell me 啦！

不说了。还有一个月而已。忍一忍就过去了。也恭喜他们不用再收留一个烂铁罐了。

不需要你的同情。只求你读一读我的心声，让我发发牢骚一下就好，ok? 小弟感激不尽。

Last month, Rachelle, an intern from another paper (she's a nice girl), and I attended an insurance partnership event.

We received a door gift - properly wrapped, square in size, and heavy. As we travel back to KL Central in the LRT, we tried guessing what the gift was.

Me: "Look at that shape and the weight. It definitely is a mug."
Rachelle: "Yes, it's a mug. It must be."
Me: "Can these big companies stop giving us mugs or cups? So disappointing!"
Rachelle: "Who needs mugs anyway, we want something more! Let me unwrap it."
Me: "Look at that look at that, that's the shape of the mug (viewed from outside)!"
Rachelle: "I know, it is a mug!"
Me: "Yes you see, I'm telling you it's a mug, darn it."
Rachelle: "Darn it, mug."

And as she unwrapped the box, the mystery resolved.

Me: "(didn't bother to see) See, isn't it a mug, I told you so!"
Rachelle: "It's a crystal globe..."
Me: "Oh Lord forgive our sins!"
Rachelle: "God bless the insurance company!"

Everyone in the LRT looked at us like one kind.

Today I was having lunch alone at A&W. Below was the conversation of a family beside me.

Mother: "I want going to the toilet."
Little Girl: "I want following!"
Father: "Girl, staying here."

I was very much enlightened by the family. They sent out a very important message:

Live in the simple present tense.