The Diamond-drops Warehouse

妈妈的垃圾天堂

2011-11-01T15:29:00.002+08:00

因妈妈的仁慈，家里堆着的垃圾越来越多。有着老鼠蟑螂的陪伴，她忘了曾经有你这个女儿。

一天，你掀起了pizza delivery的盒子一看，发现蟑螂娘在产卵。

蟑螂娘发狠地大叫：“看什么看，没礼貌的孩子！”

你：“谁给你在这里生孩子的！”

蟑螂娘：“我在哪里生关你屁事? 你娘疼我们，我爱哪里就去哪里！”

你忍不住她的傲慢，一巴掌打在她的蛋上。

蟑螂娘惊慌，说：“你这个贱人！”　然后腾空飞起来，用锐利的脚狠狠在你脸上划了一刀。

你：“你！”

这回，妈妈捧着一只老鼠进来。

妈妈：“吵吵吵！每天吵吵吵，可以尊敬一下垃圾吗？来！全部给我向垃圾忏悔！”

老鼠，蟑螂和妈妈突然开始崩溃地拍地大哭。妈妈抱起一包已经生蛆的垃圾袋狂吻并向它道歉。

老鼠在后面一边哭，一边偷偷吃上个星期吃剩的厨余。

你：“你们！你们疯了！”

说完，就一开始把一包包的垃圾拿起，准备丢掉。

妈妈：“死丫头！你在做什么！”

你：“丢！垃！圾！”

妈妈望天大喊一声，尝试冷静地对你说：“你有问过垃圾是否愿意被你丢吗？”

你：“我为什么要问垃圾这种神经病的问题！”　说完，就把一袋袋垃圾丢出去。

老鼠和蟑螂大喊：“不！啊！”

妈妈已经没有力气了，只能坐下来，怒瞪着你，说：“垃圾，是不会原谅你的！”

你：“妈！你醒醒吧！”　然后狠狠地扫了妈妈一个耳光。

妈妈受惊吓，突然恍然：“女儿啊，我身边为什么这么多垃圾？”

你很惊奇，并开心地抱着妈妈，说：“妈，你终于醒了！太好了！”

妈妈还是不明白发生了什么事。

你转身，就对老鼠和蟑螂说：“这里已经没有你们的容身之地了，滚吧！”

可怜的老鼠和蟑螂大队结伴离开了他们的天堂。最可怜的是，蟑螂娘的蛋才刚刚下完，就被迫与子道别。最后她用着脚上的刺，割颈自杀。

你：“少来啦，你没有颈项！”

摊倒地上的蟑螂娘从装死状态站起来，瞪着你，再骂一句：“贱人。”，便无趣地擦泪离开。

你翻了个白眼，并对蟑螂娘吐了突舌头，便转回跟妈妈说：“太好了，我们终于能够开开心心地过日子了。”

妈妈还没有回过神，只是微微地捧着你的脸微笑。

你：“妈，那你好好休息吧。我先进书房了。”

妈妈轻轻点头。你走开后，妈妈马上奔向蟑螂娘留下的蛋，露出欣慰的表情。她亲吻着每一颗粘稠稠的蛋，并对他们说：“我会重建属于我们的新天堂!”

说完，手里就握着一把刀，望着走向书房的你。

不能说的羊水秘密

2011-10-22T20:13:00.006+08:00

已怀胎六个月的你，得到老公无微不至的照顾。然而平时爱往动物园跑的你，却因为老公迷信认为孕妇到动物园去后生出来的孩子会变猴子，而不让你去。

某个晚上，你优雅地躺在床上，望着天花板。

你：“老公，来。来帮我安胎。”

老公：“哦，好。来了。”

老公脱了裤子，灵敏地坐上你圆滚滚的肚皮上。

老公：“我感觉到孩子快要出生咯，他一直踢我屁股。”

你还是很优雅地躺着，嘻嘻笑：“好啊，出生后我们就带ｂａｂｙ去动物园去认识动物．”

老公一脸不悦，就转身对你说：“你可不可以不要一天到晚动物园来动物园去吗？你是人！不是动物！”

你撅了撅嘴，就低声细语地对着肚子里的孩子说：“人家也是很久没有去动物园了嘛。。。”

老公：“我真不了解你！以后生出来的孩子我都不知道你会不会把他捐给动物园！"

老公一生气，就在你肚子上大力地顿了一下，便站起来。

你肚子突然一疼，感觉跨下湿嗒嗒的。

你：“老公。。。我。。。我。。羊。。。羊。。。羊水破了。。。”

老公跑到你的跨下仔细一看，看到了一滩血水。他突然紧张了起来。

老公：“你。。。为什么会有羊水？”

你：“老公。。。我好痛。。。我好像要生了。。。”

老公：“我说你为什么会有羊水！！！你和动物园的老羊到底是什么关系！”

你：“老公。。。阿！！！！好痛！！！我和动物园的老羊是清白的，相信我！”

老公惊讶地盖着嘴巴，不停地摇头。

老公：“到今天我才知道你为什么一天到晚都要去动物园鬼魂！”

你痛苦地呐喊：“啊！！！！我没有我没有！！　”

老公：“别狡辩了！” 说完就狠狠踹了你肚子一脚。

你喊了一声：“不！！！！！”，　突然就变成一只羊。

老公向前，轻轻抚摸变成了羊的你。他穿上了裤子，拿起了电话。

老公：“喂，动物园吗？我有，一只羊。”

老公说完，就放声奸笑。屋外突然雷电交加。镜头逐渐拉远。

2011-05-06T23:00:00.002+08:00

不知道是不是我的错。

昨晚在小虾米的耳边一直说：“再吵就不要你了。”

小虾米声量很大，时不时呱呱大叫。

要不然就会徘徊在我们口叫到我开房门让他们进来为止。

可是自从我在它耳边说出那番话后

它不再呱呱大叫了。

我抱着它时，

它不愿看着我眼睛。

喂它吃东西

它不再显露出兴奋的喵叫声

让它从我怀抱中跳走后

它就一直背对着我。

它不再我脚下环绕。

它真的明白我说的话？

我的心突然有点疼。

可是得把它和小橘送走的确是暂时唯一的办法了。

还是它们也知道我们相处的时间已不多？

我最放心不下的就是小虾米

我们还曾经一度以为它是弱智的。

站在大马路中间，车子经过都不闪

笨笨地，鲁莽地，怎么能够靠自己生活？

我不知道。

心情复杂。

2011-04-20T11:21:00.005+08:00

楼下再度传来猫娘和虾米爸爸打架的声音。我打开了门，冲下去。

站在房门口的小橘在我毫无预警之下冲进我房里。我不理它，心里只想帮猫娘和虾米爸爸解决他们夫妻俩的纠葛。

虾米爸爸真的跟虾米长得太像了！咪咪的灰蓝色眼睛，雪白的毛发，还有一副欠扁的模样。我们对望了十多秒，虾米爸爸最后还是离开了。

我回到了房间，却找不到小橘。小橘有时还蛮奇怪的。她每次都会突然消失，然后突然出现。我们都认为她会隐形术或则类似tele-portation这样的功力。

我找了很久，在地上也放了食物引诱她。可是她就是不出来。

她可能又耍隐形术了，我就没有理她。

过了一个小时，我要去开窗口。突然~~！

差点被她吓死。

她现在还在那里睡觉。很爽meh?

2011-04-15T00:32:00.018+08:00

在一次聚会上，阿讲师坐到我身边细语:＂明天，来我的办公室见我。“

我要澄清，我当时没有因性感的呼吸声和磁性的嗓音起鸡皮疙瘩，也没有很爽或者很享受，只是单纯的问了一句　“嚄～为，什么？”

“Job opportunity．”

“优大终于舍得重金礼聘铺红地毯挂彩灯放鞭炮请我了，”　我想着想着，心花怒放，很亲切地po阿讲师一整晚，只差没划拳喝酒脱裤子而已。

隔天早上我满怀希望地走进他的办公室，阿讲师递上几分文件。

“某某marketing 公司要请marketing writer．这对你是一个好机会，顺便也告诉大家吧。”

我的脸直接变plastic。

拿了那些毫无意义的文件离开了阿讲师的办公室，我的心沉到了谷底。我这个星期已经有够难受的了，还来往我身上砸颗大石。

Marketing writer．总觉得Journalism学生一出来就做这种工，根本就是叛徒。违背 Journalistic ethics. 所以Marketing界的大老板集团总裁秘密情人等，暂时先别来烦我，ok.　至少现阶段我想做个正直的好人先。

这纯属个人意见，不爽读的请自动飘走。

好啦，讨厌　（拉袖子），几年后我再去po老板们就是了嘛～

优大要几时才舍得重金礼聘铺红地毯挂彩灯放鞭炮请我 jek？老子我教学经验丰富，好歹也曾在幼稚园混过六个月，拜托！（撇开把孩子挂在风扇上当作惩罚的事件不说）　

值得一提的是，在我爱的教育的拥抱与亲亲下，童鞋们个个都成财。

一个两个超厉害帮爸爸妈妈中马票。

这么优，当然就是要进优大的啊。

请马上重金礼聘铺红地毯挂彩灯放鞭炮请我。仅此。

2011-04-14T21:41:00.001+08:00

路未接：政治與娛樂脫不了關係…

人們只要一聽到“政治”這兩個字，就會鎖緊眉頭，變得特別認真。或許這就是人們向來對政治本質的瞭解，使得許多人不敢恭維。年輕一輩的，只要一聽到別人討論有關政治課題，許多都會避而遠之。

　相反地，年輕人幾乎都是娛樂新聞的狂熱分子。父母買了份報紙回來，孩子都爭先恐后抽出娛樂版，迫不及待想看哪個明星閃電結婚、哪個外遇，或哪個被包養……有的則關注哪些海外歌手將到大馬做宣傳。

　娛樂圈能夠吸引年輕族群的原因，主要原因是新聞每天都精彩。大馬政治，其實時不時也有“小精彩”（你我清楚就好），可惜一些沉重的課題，還是無法引起年輕人關注。

　砂拉越大選之際，不論國陣還是反對黨，都充分運用娛樂價值拉票，特別是為了吸引年輕票源。國陣不僅邀請本地歌手到古晉演唱，甚至勞駕台灣團體神木與瞳唱現場。反對黨不甘示弱，候選人親自出馬，為選民高歌一曲。當然，我們姑且不論實力，只論表演的娛樂性。

娛樂觀眾換取支持

　頗有歌藝的候選人親自上陣，沒有好歌喉，但負擔得起的，可以邀請歌手幫忙站台。好像美國大選，幾乎每一屆都和娛樂圈人士扯上關係。有的藝人參與宣傳片製作，有的甚至脫下明星光環，挨家挨戶代總統候選人拜票。脫口秀主持人更透過自己的節目，公開自己心中的理想總統人選……

　政治圈有時的確枯燥乏味，但政治人物本身並不然。打個比方，公正黨班底谷區國會議員努魯依莎，本身就彈得一手好吉他，她上個月在檳城的音樂會上，和另一位音樂人呈獻一段表演。看來大馬政治人物當中，一定還會有一些還未被挖掘出來的“明星”！

　要成為大選最后贏家，候選人不能單單靠像台語劇裡常常出現的吃飯宴客場景拉票。他們除了要多打溫馨牌，拍拍些和人民握手的“宣傳照”，也必須暫時擱下嚴肅面具，在台上做幾分鐘明星藝人娛樂選民，以換取更多支持！

原文：http://beta.chinapress.com.my/node/206891

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路未接：西方所謂的人道主義

2011-04-06T23:23:00.003+08:00

要快乐？其实很简单。助人为快乐之本。我就是您帮助的对象。请点阅这里。你的人生将会突然变得意义非凡。

路未接：西方所謂的人道主義

在炮火連天的環境裡，人權的重要性已變得模糊。雖然美國聲稱利比亞人民傷亡人數直線攀升的趨勢，並非因西方國家開炮而導致，但是遭罪的還是利比亞老百姓。

　內戰（反對派革命軍）和西方國家的干預，斬斷了利比亞人民輸送糧食的管道，原本已經偏低的國家經濟，更是直接被拉垮。基本的生存條件都已無法保障，還談什么人權？簡單一句：人權不能當飯吃！

　與此同時，聯合國在這次利比亞內亂中，也發揮了它的功能。在實施禁飛區和拯救差遣工作上，處理已算不錯。

　但一向尊嚴至上的西方國家，會否對聯合國發出的指示遵守到底，仍然是個未知數。

　更諷刺的是，同樣都是捍衛人道主義體系，聯合國和西方國家卻秉持不同的軟硬方式，以求達到共同目標。一個直接和一個間接的著手方式，是否會成為彼此的絆腳石，想必只有老天爺才知道其中玄機。

實現人道主義

　筆者對這種“加減后還是零”方程式的成功率，持有一定懷疑；也不完全是因為質疑這種類似互補，甚至有點背道而馳的合作模式的成效，而是懷疑西方國家的參與，是否真的只是為了讓戰亂中的利比亞實現人道主義至上的願望。

　以美國為例，奧巴馬曾經說過“殘暴的領導人聲稱不會對國民心慈手軟，所以我們無法袖手旁觀。”若順著這句話，美國在利比亞內亂的參與合情合理。但美國並不用這句話來要脅朝鮮政府，或直接干預朝鮮，以解決人權問題。難道美國害怕朝鮮的核武器，站在太平洋另一端實實在在地袖手旁觀？

　捍衛人道主義的偉大責任，只是西方國家善用的幌子，他們只是選擇性捍衛人道主義，尤其是向那些有利于自己，或可能危及國家安全的戰亂政府下手。

文章来源：http://beta.chinapress.com.my/node/204145

2011-04-01T18:41:00.000+08:00

路未接：奧巴馬借利比亞內亂翻盤？

就在利比亞內戰──反對派的反政府活動和一些部落紛爭火熱上演之際，西方國家也跟著湊熱鬧，到處“放鞭炮”！

　仗著人道主義的玉璽，美國這個世界和平英雄聯合其他西方國家，終于忍不住開戰機之翅展導彈之膀，猛力襲擊利比亞多處軍事重地。

　因外交失策而名譽受挫的奧巴馬，不久前聲稱美國的干涉只是希望利比亞政府以人道主義為基礎妥善處理，並非為了推翻卡達菲政權。如今他聲稱美國對利比亞的立場就是卡達菲必須下台，誓死拉倒利比亞頭號人物卡達菲。他前后不一的言論，引來共和黨抨擊。

　奧巴馬採取的行動是否得到國會批准，受到共和黨和自己的黨員質疑。當中有人諷刺奧巴馬政府連自己也不是很清楚實際狀況，不知道要向國會要求些什么！

弄巧反拙摔多一跤

　奧巴馬這個雪恥舉動，似乎是為了讓他的國際形象有“翻盤”機會。但他已因開始時沒設好穩定立場就發言，弄巧反拙，使自己又摔多一跤。這個課題成了反對黨攻擊他的要點。

　難道他的所作所為，只為鹹魚翻生？

　要捧起人道主義這個玉璽，皇帝都必須知道自己有幾量重。就算面臨逐漸嚴重的財政赤字，軍事資源和資金捉襟見肘，美國仍然打腫臉皮充胖子，為領導利比亞走向正道而讓人民承擔更多債務稅。

　據報導，單單在利比亞東部上空盤旋巡邏的戰機，西方國家就得每週支付介于3000到1億美元的龐大開銷。雖說西方國家參與是由法國帶頭率領，但風頭仍不及對這次軍事行動砸下重金的美國。

　這次的利比亞軍事行動，被認為沒有明確戰略，我們根本不知道奧巴馬和其他西方國家要的到底是什么。但願奧巴馬這些動作並非只為了證明，他在政治、軍事和外交關係方面，還是有一定能力……

http://beta.chinapress.com.my/node/202554

高教贷学金转为奖学金仅去毕业生可申请

2011-03-27T15:04:00.001+08:00

（吉隆坡26日讯）高等教育部重申，只有在2010年考获一等或荣誉文凭的大学毕业生，才有资格申请把国家高等教育基金（PTPTN）贷学金转为奖学金，不必摊还。

首相拿督斯里纳吉，是在提呈2010年财政预算案时，作出上述宣布。

高教部官员今日证实，上述宣布只限应届毕业生受惠，2010年之前或之后的毕业生，皆不在此列。

“高教部长曾将此事带入内阁讨论，内阁已做出这项明确决定。”

换言之，2005年7月1日以后领取PTPTN贷学金，且在2010年以前毕业的一等成绩贷款人，都没资格提出申请将贷学金转为奖学金。

属特别优惠

“因为各所大学计分法不一致，所以只有通过委员会审合的申请个案，才能如愿把贷学金转为奖学金，不是人人都能得到。”

他说，高教部早前已规定，2005年7月1日以后获得PTPTN贷款者，皆不能申请把它转为奖学金，只是首相在宣布2010年财政预算案时，特别给予那一年的一等成绩大学毕业生优惠。

他今日针对一名署名“W.K Ngui”读者，周五透过电子邮件向“中国报”投诉，指政府允许一等成绩大学毕业生，申请将贷学金转为奖学金，对一群“卡在中间”的人不公平事项，这么发言。

电邮指出，这群“卡在中间”者，就是2005年7月1日以后领取贷学金，却又在2010年以前毕业的一等或荣誉文凭持有人。——（中国报）

（http://chinapress.com.my/content_new.asp?dt=2011-03-27&sec=mas&art=0327mc55.txt）

无温

2011-03-25T01:44:00.005+08:00

窗口边的灯泡在乌漆抹黑的周围只能发出微弱的光丝。

光丝微弱得根本穿不过那层冷冰冰的玻璃。

你点了根蜡烛，在玻璃上滴了几滴蜡。

当液状的蜡凝结后，你用下排牙齿一层一层地把蜡刮下来，并用舌头轻轻擦亮玻璃表面。

微弱的光丝，还是无法渗透。没有温度。没有温度。

你把灯泡夹在合十的双掌中，闭上眼睛稍微仰头。

一只黑猫跳过你的指尖，并勾到了你的指肉。

黑猫绊倒，它的爪刮下了你连接指甲缝间的一大片肉。

为报复，你索性把指甲拔出来射向黑猫的颈项。

指甲射中要害，黑猫狂吼一声，颈项血溅四方，滴在你脸上，滴在灯泡上。

你用舌头把血滴舔干净。

灯泡的玻璃，没有温度。没有温度。

你拔出另一根手指上的指甲，尝试用指甲割开灯泡玻璃。

你越来越没有耐性，呼吸变得急促。指甲突然断裂！

黑猫这时‘喵’了一声，卡在喉咙的指甲突然倒弹出来，回射向灯泡。

灯泡玻璃爆了。微弱的光丝逃了出来。

有的跑出窗外，有的跑向黑猫，有的跑进你的瞳孔。

你咆哮，用手抓起一把玻璃碎往自己的眼睛抛。

碎片刺入眼珠和眼白，光丝带着血丝一起逃出来。

黑猫跳过来，把双爪勾在你的脸颊支撑自己。

它把上排牙齿勾在你左眼皮上，并用力把眼皮拉断。

光丝都消失了，没有温度。没有温度。

黑猫往你那没有眼皮的左眼舔了一下，便跳出窗外，展开它隐形的翅膀飞向月球。

黑暗笼罩着你的房间。

灯泡只剩下一堆残骸。

你把那堆残骸拿起，挫进你仅剩的右眼。

黑猫在奔向月球的途中回眸看了冷冰冰的你。

你，没有温度。没有温度。

2011-03-07T21:03:00.006+08:00

这几天~我们家~出现了~一只~公猫~

老公猫。

一直在我们门前门后不停地叫，好像是要引起猫娘的注意。

猫娘在不久之后，出去了，好像是等公猫。

难道这么快就发春？猫娘的私生活我们也不应多管。

重点是。。。小橘也跟着出去了，并坐在猫娘身边，好像在等什么。

猫娘该不会是要把小橘介绍给老公猫吧？！她根本就露出一副妈妈桑的样子。

太邪恶了！　不是自己生的孩子就推她下海！

我们猜测，小虾米不知是不是猫娘跟老公猫所生的。如果真是的话，然后小橘成了老公猫第二老婆，那么小虾米不就要叫小橘一声　“二妈？”

噢！错综复杂的感情，受不了。

后来小橘逃进屋子，留下猫娘一个人在外面。

这时。。。老公猫进来了。。。

猫娘开始对老公猫展开炮火。我们也很紧张地在屋子里看。不久，猫娘突然跑了进来，在我脚下环绕一圈后就躲在我的脚后，似乎对老公猫宣告，说我才是她男人。

老公猫跟我对望，我大声对着他发出了　“ｒｒｒｒｒｒ～～！＂　的声音，老公猫立即逃离。

猫娘仍在我脚下撒娇。我熄了手中的烟，安抚她说：　“宝贝别怕，我在你身边。”

猫娘对我咪咪笑，随之转身，就面色改变，狠狠地瞪了小橘一眼，警告她说：“以后你敢再逃走我就叫老公猫扒光你的皮。”

最后两句是加爽的。

玻璃市稻田的故事 (2）

2011-03-06T13:03:00.002+08:00

我们坐了5个小时的火车后，在大约7点早上抵达alor setar。 jing wen从她姐姐的手中抢过了车子，封册自己为这趟旅程的司机。我们在靠近早市的小贩中心吃了早餐后，便过马路到jing wen家去拜见她父母。

jing wen 的父亲给了一趟有关前往Perlis的lecture. 本来方向感就很差的jing wen的头简直种满了问号。但是我们还是让她好好运用自己的智慧（虽然我们不怎么相信），而我们就负责帮忙看路牌。

“快点拍我！我的朋友都不相信我会驾车。我要证明给他们看！” jing wen指示我。

好像随时要把整个steering拔出来，然后在头上狂甩酱

我们不小心一路北上，错过了arau。 chin eng建议我们回到arau 停一下，去走走Perlis 王族墓园。所以我们u-turn回去。

perlis国王的墓园在平日是不开放给别人的，那个后来脱了衣服下半身围着毛巾走来走去的墓园管理人说。既然铁门没上锁，我们偷偷进去，在他还未赶我们出来之前，拍了几张照片。

我们接着来到隔壁的皇亲贵族（假设）的墓园。许多墓碑看起来老旧，而且也没有刻上太多的资料。只有一些名字和无法对证的日期。

有的甚至刻有泰文。杂草丛生，完全没有受到妥善照顾。

我们离开后，来到一个交通灯的t 字路口，看到交通灯柱挂了一布条。

“有举办一些有关wau 的活动耶，”我说。

“几时？”

“呃。。。明天！”

“哪里？”

"Simpang Empat."

"如果我们有时间的话，我们也去凑凑热闹吧！”

。。。我们的对话就在此暂停。

离开墓园后，我们原本想到tasik melawati 那里去的。可惜的是我们错过了，直接奔向chuping,并驾入一个名为 'kilang gula' 的白糖制造工业区。

"什么味道啊？”我们按下车窗后，嗅到了一股又臭又香的味道。

“甘蔗的味道！I love it!" jing wen 兴奋地在驾驶座上一直顿。

我们被她的举动吓了一跳。她竟然喜欢这种味道。=.=

当经过一些比较矮小的甘蔗园时，我们都被美景吸引住了。蓝蓝的天，白白的云，最适合摄影了。当然我们家pei suang和chin eng 不会错过这个机会。他们拍照，我和jing wen 哼着“蓝蓝的天空银河里，有只小白船~”

摄影疯狂分子二人组画了许久的时间拍了很多照。我们过后穿过了一条又长又平坦的路离开了甘蔗园。那条路就像是澳洲旷野和沙漠的马路一样。

刚刚我们看到的是小甘蔗园，几分钟后，pei suang看见了一大片已经等着收割的甘蔗园，便大喊：“ｊｉｎｇ　ｗｅｎ，你的甘蔗！”

“嚄呼～～～～～～！！！ＹＯＵ＇ＲＥ　ＳＯ　ＳＷＥＥＴ！＂她打开车窗，对着竖立在外的甘蔗枝狂吼。

下一个目的地是ｐａｄａｎｇ　ｂｅｓａｒ．是失望的咯，因为找不到最著名的ｂａｚａａｒ．　ｃｈｉｎ　ｅｎｇ　又因为我没有带ｐａｓｓｐｏｒｔ无法过界到泰国而感到失望。我们还是绕进ｔａｘ　ｆｒｅｅ　ｓｈｏｐｐｉｎｇ　ｃｏｍｐｌｅｘ去小便。

我们过后停在一个市集旁卖一些干粮。他们买了好几包东西，我们的　ｐａｄａｎｇｂｅｓａｒ之旅一眨眼就ｊｉｅｓｕ．再加上我因缺水，鼻子开始不舒服，然后狂打喷嚏。整个ｍｏｏｄ不是很对酱。

我们过后来到了ｇｕａ　ｋｅｌａｍ．由于还在装修当中，所以没有开。为了让自己好过一点，我只好静静坐下来，欣赏崖壁的猴子，还有努力清干鼻水。

ｃｈｉｎ　ｅｎｇ接到一个让他脸变色的电话。突然大家变得好尴尬。两个女的一位我生气，都一直要把气氛炒起来，事实上我并没有。我只是需要一大瓶水（后来花了ｒｍ２在Ｐａｒｋ车的地方跟一个水果摊买！）

我们没有照原定计划到州公园（ｓｔａｔｅ　ｐａｒｋ？）露营。由于ｗａｎｇ　ｋｅｌｉａｎ　处于山上，我们那辆车上不了那个斜坡。第二，公主ｊｉｎｇ　ｗｅｎ那个时候放不下身段去投入大自然妈妈的怀抱。还有，大伙儿们希望能够到ｋｕａｌａ　ｐｅｒｌｉｓ　看日落。

为了实现这个愿望，我们还是选择了Ｋｕａｌａ　ｐｅｒｌｉｓ．可惜的是，天父阿爸不作美，差遣了很多乌云遮盖整片天空。我们在码头没事做，只好找个地方吃晚餐了。

太好了。那时我饿死了。

一个Ｕｎｃｌｅ建议我们去一间连Ｐｅｒｌｉｓ国王都曾经光顾过的海鲜楼吃。那间海鲜楼奇怪的是，我们看到了招牌，却看不到店面。绕了几圈，我们才发现那个海鲜楼匿藏在一条羊肠小径的深处。

地点像渔村，海鲜楼前面和还有一个建在海面上的平台供客人仰望大海。那里的食物真的很好吃。唯一的缺点就是服务烂到要死。

“食物是很好吃，但是服务简直就是ｋａｎａｓａｉ，＂　不过价格真的很便宜。如果你们不介意ｋａｎａｓａｉ的服务态度，这是一个很不错的地方。

离开了ｋｕａｌａ　ｐｅｒｌｉｓ码头，我们要寻找传说中的“彩虹之家”，也就是出现在本地电影《天天好天》的电影里的那个地方。

ｐｅｉ　ｓｕａｎｇ　很积极地要找到那个屋子。　她向朋友打听了地点。我们在晚上绕了好几圈也什么也看不到。整条路就是黑的。我们“看没有　（ｓｅｅ　ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ）”　。

我们闯入了一条两旁都是稻田的小路。ｊｉｎｇ　ｗｅｎ　嘴里哼着歌，一直叫我们跟她一起唱。我不记得我们有没有唱，只知道她向母鸡一样，声音全程没停过。

我们到了马路的尽头，她突然整个人处于大爆炸的状态，大叫：“我们找到出路了！你们不知道我几害怕，所以才一直叫你们陪我唱歌！”

真的，我完全看不出她哪一个时候出现害怕的表情。她一路都是很平静地唱着歌儿，直到出大马路才整个人疯掉。

我们最终什么都找不到。又是一个令人失落经历。

回到了码头，我们问了几家ｈｏｔｅｌ　和ｈｏｓｔｅｌ，终于找到了最便宜的住宿地方。洗了澡后，我和ｊｉｎｇ　ｗｅｎ直接跳上床倒头大睡，　而ｃｈｉｎ　ｅｎｇ　和ｐｅｉ　ｓｕａｎｇ　到码头走走。ｃｈｉｎ　ｅｎｇ　说他们那晚看到一群表演传统乐器的马来ｕｎｃｌｅ们。应该很好玩，可惜我已经睡了。　

AZ & Azika Motel, Kuala Perlis (码头正对面)，是背包客的选择。只要你不介意卫生或者是冲冷水， RM65 一间房可以挤上好几个人.

玻璃市稻田的故事 (1）

2011-03-03T16:00:00.002+08:00

在怡保的三个小时

你或许会一副不屑的脸问 “玻璃市有什么好玩的？”。那我会反问你：“周小伦唱歌有什么好听的？”

答案很简单，不过就是我们有着不同欣赏事物的角度。有的人会爱上这个地方是因为电影　《天天好天》在那里取景。而有的则喜欢拍摄美丽的风景。至于我，只是纯粹为了在另一个地方制造另一个故事，这样我才能死而无憾。

这一次不同的是，我是和三位大学学弟妹一同上路。这可能是我们一起出发的唯一一次机会了。不管是好是坏的回忆，至少它们能留在我脑海里直到我的呼吸系统衰弱。直到我开始呕血。直到我在老人院里尿失禁的那个时候。

和屋友们（还有猫咪小橘）在火车站告别后，我们就出发到怡保，因为去亚罗士打的火车没有在金

宝接客。

大约８．００Ｐｍ　我们就到了。雨停了，我们就到市区走走。在一个公园休息一下，又继续走，来到了一个有着巴黎式美感的拱桥。他们花了一些时间拍照，而我则自己走前去看有什么有趣的事物。

我发现许多沿途上，两旁都是金铺。也不小心瞄到一个裸露无壳的冷气机　（原来没有穿衣的冷气机是那么恶心的）。总而言之～没有什么新发现。

我再次离开队伍转向另一条路，找到一间简朴的华人小贩中心。既然我们都还未吃晚餐，我就打电话给Ｊｉｎｇ　Ｗｅｎ通知他们可是她没有接我的电话。

我就继续走啊走啊，唉，我撞见两只正在科技商店面前性交的一对猫情侣。没人看到，我就一步步向前帮他们拍了拍一些调情的照片。他们俩望着我，似乎告诉我　‘看什么看，没有看过啊。”

更尴尬的是，我发现原来另外一只猫也在垃圾桶后面欣赏这幕春宫戏！我们突然对到眼，我只能以一种抽完雪茄的表情问他　“怎么样，有没有很好看？”。

这是一只在巴刹前面的肥／怀孕猫。他好像是从飞碟照下来的一束光降落在地球一样，然后一副茫然的眼神跟我对望。

我匆匆离开那个地方，转向另外一条路。这时我接到了Ｊｉｎｇ　Ｗｅｎ的电话，得知他们在一个档子前面等着我。我和他们会合了，看见他们就坐在一个马来当口前面，还有一个写着　“Ｍｏｓｔ　ｐｏｐｕｌａｒ　ｉｎ　Ｉｐｏｈ　Ｃｉｔｙ　ｓｉｎｃｅ　１９７２＂的告示牌。

我一看到这个东东，我就觉得不大对劲了。因为通常这种招牌放大大的ｓｔａｎｄａｒｄ是。。。ｈｒｍ　ｈｒｍ　ｈｒｍ　的。

跟怡保牙菜鸡的原理一样。

既然我们都坐下了，大家也不好意思离开。因为也不想被Ｍａｋ　Ｃｉｋ狂丢香蕉皮。

“五颗星，你给几颗？”　我问。

“一点八。”　Ｃｈｉｎ　Ｅｎｇ　答。

Ｐｅｉ　Ｓｕａｎｇ的ｍｉｌｏ　更是甜到要死。

我们到了麦当当小便后，Ｃｈｉｎ　Ｅｎｇ　和我急忙地赶到ｐｕｂｌｉｃ　ｂａｎｋ提款。提款机将在１２ａｍ暂停服务。我们还有短短几分钟的时间啊！

还好来得及。

一群笨蛋Ｍａｔ　ｒｅｍｐｉｔ突然停在我们身边对两位女生大喊，然后却吓得站在对面的我也跟着大叫。

我们的火车将在１２．３０ａｍ抵达。所以我们有十五分钟时间走回火车站。

“咦，你们的睡袋呢？”我问ｐｅｉ　ｓｕａｎｇ　和ｃｈｉｎ　ｅｎｇ。ｐｅｉ　ｓｕａｎｇ开始急忙地找着。

“糟糕！我们好像搁在公园那里了！”

“够力咯，那怎么办啊！我们没有时间赶过去了！”Ｊｉｎｇ　Ｗｅｎ说。

“看来只好把东西留在那里了。”

他们看起来好像很可怜，这样一个开始就已经一大桶冷水泼下，我还真替他们感到抱歉。Ａｎｙｗａｙ，我们最后几个靓仔的指引下回到了火车站。

靓仔说：“要不要我送你们一程？放心，怡保的人都是好人。”

听到这句话我突然寒毛一起。这句话就像一个长满胡须的人跟你说“嗨，我是女人。”一样。更何况为了保住我们的清白，靓仔的话，不.能.相.信。

进入车站大厅，一个白人用一个奇异的眼神看着我们又对着我们笑。我们叫女生坐远一点，给我一点空间去接近他（开玩笑geh)。他突然就在Jing Wen 身边躺了下来。

“我们去找chin eng 吧。”我说。chin eng 和pei suang 在大厅另一边和一个马来阿姨交谈。她是一个善用作业簿封面后作画的中年妇女。

虽然画工没有我的精致，但是简单的画风展示出她真实的一面。所有画都以kampung风情为主。简单的撇画与颜色让懂得欣赏的人感受到她的诚意。

她告诉我们她是凭空画出来的。她以前不是个精明的学生，却很喜欢对手工这方面的技艺。所以直到现在，她都延续着这个兴趣。

“你要去那里？”其中一人问道，因为我们发现她身边有好几个旅行包。

“我不知道要到哪里去。” 她回答。

我们不知道她的意思，也不想诠释她的“话中话”。其实如果他是一个以火车站为家的人，那又怎样。如果她的精神或许不是很好（只是我一个突然冒出来的邪恶想法），那又怎样。如果这是她的人生故事，那么她应该为自己所承受的，所经历的感到自豪。

她说，以前曾经当过白人孩子的保姆，甚至当过马来著名女歌手Anita Sarawak 哥哥的保姆。还好她没有她曾经率领全马人民在1957年在独立广场呼喊“Merdeka!"，要不然我邪恶想法就成了一个事实了。

我们和她道别便坐在靠近火车铁轨的一根柱子旁。突然，Pei suang 从书包中拿出一个睡袋来。

“你不是留在公园里来了吗？”我百思不解。

直到Pei suang 和 chin eng 不断地打眼色，我才发现我被他们耍了。

兔崽子。

小黑猫的 "Reborn"

2011-02-15T22:14:00.008+08:00

猫的奇遇记继续发生！

那天上完 Politics and Media后，我们就回家，想休息一下，准备当晚的聚餐。上了房间后，我听见远处传来猫叫声。跑了下楼，我问Ms Ivy:＂有没有听到猫叫声？”

Ｍｓ　Ｉｖｙ：　＂是啊，我刚刚就听到了。还是是鸟叫声？”

我们出到门外，果然发现一只超级无敌瘦弱的小黑猫站在几乎车子会碾过的地方！

我们冲前去，发现它的四肢像牙签纤细，但叫声高昂。我看了它一眼，发现它的左眼好像有黄色粘液已经糊成一团，很是恐怖。摸了它的毛发发现非常油，而且不时还散发出臭油味。再加上刚刚的倾盆大雨，它整个样子就好像马上会垮掉。

我不知如何是好。我当时断定它一定撑不下去的了，觉得带它回家，它也活不了多久，而且还得看到它死去。当时的确很想残忍一点，把它安置在一个安全的角落就不理它。Ｍｓ　Ｉｖｙ　和我犹豫了很久，最后我们打算把它带回家，帮它清理清理。而既然它踏进我们家，我们就有义务要照顾它。

我马上把它放到楼下的冲凉房里，开始帮它清理身上的油。它的叫声不间断，而且屋子的猫叫的回音使得我们更心急。

猫娘（小虾米的妈妈）听到了猫叫声，马上冲进厨房来确认看那是否是它的孩子。它一度还凶了我们一下，以为我们要对那只猫做什么。她嗅了嗅，发现不是它的孩子后，就若无其事地离开了，回到小虾米身边。

许久之后，我们无法还是把油洗掉。虽然还是有油臭，但没有那么糟。

把它弄干后，我上去拿了根棉花棒，帮它清理眼睛。我是一个很怕看到烂掉眼睛的那种人，但还是把它眼睛周围清理干净。后来才发现，原来只是一堆眼屎！知道它眼睛没事，我当时高兴得差点想开瓶红酒庆祝一下。

当然，问题还未解决。或许是因为太小吧，它不喝牛奶，什么都不吃。我们又不敢把它带到猫娘身边，怕它会对小黑猫不利。想了想，还是决定试一试。我们把它放到猫娘身边。猫娘就凶了小黑猫一下，似乎好像会把它碎尸万端。我们还是把它放在它的周围。只要猫娘一咬，我们就把小猫拉走。

为了不要激怒猫娘，我还一边　“ｓｈｈ．．．＂　一边抚摸它。

猫娘看了我一眼，似乎有点不爽我。但是当小黑猫找到奶头时，它竟然静静让它吸！我开心到疯了！

小黑猫终于不用饿死了！　可是我担心小猫有疾病，会传染给那两母女。

顿时之间，小虾米看起来真的太过幸福了。肥肥胖胖，一天到晚睡觉喝奶, 像个没用的败家女。反而小黑猫的坚强性格让我很感动。

猫娘并不对它好。就算小黑猫一直在它的肚子那里钻来钻去找奶头，猫娘根本不理会。要不然就是当小黑猫吸到一半时，就起身走掉，让小黑猫跌倒或被拖着走。

到了晚上，我们发现猫娘好像在找东西。ＣＣ说可能我们无缘无故给它多一个重担，它不爽，在找其他的地方准备带小虾米离开。我时不时就把小黑猫带到它身边。猫娘就瞪着我，然后有气无力地睡下来，让小黑猫吸奶。有时小虾米就一直欺负它，按着它的头。

今天起来，发现它们竟然幸福的睡在一团。小虾米还抱着它睡，超可爱！

而且我们发现，猫娘今天也开始帮它打理毛发了。猫娘真是太伟大了！我就跟大家说，以后娶老婆就要娶猫娘这样的。我一直抚摸它，跟它说谢谢也称赞它。它也不时翻滚着身子让我帮他按摩。

ＣＣ：“你看，它在色诱你。等一下今晚它就会像人鱼公主一样，化成人来跟你结婚。”

猫娘的身世之谜？

2011-02-14T12:10:00.006+08:00

Sian Ming: “为什么它（猫娘）只生一只猫的？猫不是一下子就生好几个的吗？”

Elween:　“不懂咯，可能都死光了吧。。。”

CC: “我觉得有很大的可能性那只被碾死的小猫是它的孩子。”

Elween：“不会这样巧吧？ ”

CC: “那天那只小猫被车撞后，有一只猫跑过去尸体那边看看，说不定就是猫娘来的。然后它看到我们就觉得我们是可以依靠的人，所以就来寄托我们。”

Elween:　“它怎么知道我们住哪里啊？更何况到最后我们也没有救到它的孩子。”

CC: “它会看车牌啊。哎呀，猫很聪明的好不好。＂　

Elween:　＂然后它就ｔａｍ小虾米一路来到我们家？哪为什么那么多天后它才来？”

ＣＣ：＂　（低沉厚实的大喊）你不用给它时间一间间慢慢找到我们的车ｍｅｈ！”

Sian Ming："猫娘好像好忧郁。它时不时就坐到一边，然后开始放空的望着远方，好像在思念什么东西。。。”

Elween：“是咯是咯！我也是有发现到！不懂是不是想起它死去的孩子咧。。。”

Sian Ming："（换话题）我很好奇猫到底要花多长的时间来打理毛发。而且有些部位像屁股那里，它怎么能够清理到？”

Elween：“没想过咧。。。”

Sian Ming：“可能半夜时分，乘大家睡觉时，它舌头会开始变长然后拉到屁股那里清理。”

这时猫娘很有杀气地望了过来看着ｓｉａｎ　ｍｉｎｇ．

Ｅｌｗｅｅｎ：“欸，你干嘛拆穿它的秘密啦。小心今晚它突然拿两脚站立，拿把刀然后走到你的房间把你砍死。”

2011-02-12T18:05:00.005+08:00

2月11日2011年

正当CC，Ms Ivy 和我在打麻将时，我们好像听到屋

外穿来一阵小猫微弱的叫声。

“是小猫的叫声？”

“应该是吧。”

我们没有多加理会，便继续玩。

突然，我发现了一个黑影从屋内搁着的脚踏车间闪过。

放下了手中的麻将我跟着黑影来到了屋门。一只深褐色的猫站在车子前方狠狠地’ngeh’了我一声。

“什么来的？ ”CC问。

“哇。这样凶的。应该是刚生完不久的母猫吧。”我说。

“Cheh, 又不是小猫。”ＣＣ一副不屑地说。ＣＣ只对小猫的可爱感兴趣，对大猫却一点也不理会。

我们不以为意，又继续切磋麻技。几分钟后，我隐约看到了脚踏车前方的大盒子旁有一团白色的东西。

竟然是只小猫！！！

小猫跌跌撞撞，应该是出世不到两个星期的小baby。白白却有点肮脏的毛发，褐色的咪咪眼，腹部还有受伤的迹象。

“是小猫！”

“咦，小猫？”ＣＣ突然兴致勃勃地向前。“不知它是不是上次被撞死那只猫的兄弟妹咧？”

突然我又想起了那天被该死的车碾死的小猫, 心里波动了一下。

“它好像不懂在找什么。”Ms Ivy 看见猫咪一直说。

“它好像受伤了。。。”我说。

“那要不要带它到兽医？我知道怡保有一间。”ＣＣ说。Ｍｓ　Ｉｖｙ　和我不知怎么回答。

“我有一包过期牛奶，泡给它喝看看。”我说。可是猫咪对我（买）的奶没兴趣。

“它都不喝，它应该还是要喝妈妈的奶。”Ｍｓ．　Ｉｖｙ说。

我们跟它玩了一下，它似乎也对我们不再感到陌生。我心想，它不知是不是上天给我继奈安呐后第二次机会，让我能够好好养猫，以弥补我对奈安呐(我们家去年离家出走的猫）的亏欠（给它太少食物）。

“我们要盖着铁门的下半部，不要让它除去。免得它出去被车撞死。同时也要留个缝好让它妈妈回来找他。”ＣＣ说。

我们过后回到麻将局，由得它在鞋堆里自己爽。我不时不时扫瞄那个地方。然后发现它在Ｓｉａｎ　Ｍｉｎｇ　鞋上睡着了。

不久，一个黑影又穿了进来。母猫回来了！它来到箱子旁，似乎在寻找它的爱儿，却找不到。

“不要惊动它，它应该会嗅到孩子的味道的。我们继续玩好了。”ＣＣ　说。

我们三人就假装专注搓麻将，可是视线没有离开过母猫。它意思意思绕了几圈，嗅了几下，找不到孩子就竟然准备要离开我们家了！

它走出铁门后，我叫住了它。“喵！”也就是“ｏｉ！＂　的意思。它回过头来瞪着我。我一手拉起在睡觉的小ｂａｂｙ，拼命指着它，想用猫语告诉它说它的孩子在这里。然而当我放下它的孩子后，ｂａｂｙ却一直跟着我走，没有发现在门外看着我们的妈妈。

“它妈妈应该会进来的啦，有人在它应该不敢进来。先不要理它看看。”ＣＣ说。

我又回到麻将桌旁，继续玩。果然，母猫进来了，但是悄悄地躲在脚踏车旁。而ｂａｂｙ却徘徊在我们的脚下。我们多么希望ｂａｂｙ自己能够发现妈妈的存在并自己走向它。母猫只是一直凶巴巴地瞪着我们却不敢过来把孩子带走。终于，过了好久好久，ｂａｂｙ开始走向妈妈了！它马上钻到奶头那里开始喝奶。猫妈妈也一直不断地舔它ｂａｂｙ并用前脚环绕着它。

Ｈｏ，超感动的！

我们整场麻将下来，它们还是舒服地躺在那里，时睡时醒。

我们不知道接下来要怎样处置他们。要留它们在家似乎有些困难，可是又担心它们会命丧马路。我虽然爱猫，却不知要怎么照顾它们。算了，走一步算一步吧。希望ｂａｂｙ能够快点长大，自己独立。希望它的伤口能够自己痊愈。

p/s: 这是今天早上排的。猫妈妈喝着奶。baby刚刚睡醒。再次希望各界善心人士能够贡献一些钱让我们一起分担照顾猫儿的饮食。得空过来我们家跟猫妈妈和baby玩玩，顺便带一些猫食来吧。

戰勝獨裁的民主革命

2011-02-10T19:05:00.001+08:00

路未接：戰勝獨裁的民主革命

許多北非以及西亞國家，開始逐一效仿突尼西亞人民成功的茉莉花革命。骨牌效應從北非埃及開始，接著第二波蔓延到約旦黎巴嫩，甚至也門。這個趨勢隨著網烙媒體的報導，以及當地人民親筆刊登于部落格或社會網絡剖白增加，成了激發其他西亞國家人民行動起來的強心劑。

這次北非及西亞大規模革命的因素，涉及許多民生問題，如失業率漸增、物價暴漲，以及教育等問題。人民被迫付出慘痛代價，都得歸功當地政府的“精明”策略，明顯的例子包括實施累退稅，導致社會富貧現象更明確的約旦，和一味顧著鞏固與美國打好外交關係，多時忽略人民的埃及。

當然，政府腐敗是最基本的反政府示威理由。然而，這一大敗筆的形成，多半拜獨裁政治領袖所賜。在民主名義下，獨裁者無限期連任政治圈最高一席，霸佔整個國家的政治、社會及經濟系統，為所欲為。

斬斷不健康現象

突尼西亞總統班阿里掌權已有20年，也門總統薩利赫33年。有的國家甚至已“鋪后路”做好安排，像埃及總統穆巴拉克，讓他47歲的兒子準備以后當總統。

人民已厭倦獨裁領袖，茉莉花革命這劑強心針奏效，忍氣吞聲多年的平民百姓終于凝集民主力量，攔截獨裁者自己的“王道”，斬斷這不健康現象，並透過革命恢復民主政府。

當身為人民代表的政治領袖變成貪權獨裁者，民主就變質。獨裁者一意孤行打理國事，人民無法透過任何管道向政府表達任何意見，這多年累積的心聲無法傳達上去，時機一到，就會在一夕間全部爆發。

民主當道，獨裁主義難以容忍，人民會以他國的一次革命成功，作為自己國家倒獨裁者的典範。透過這種溝通網際聚集力量進行示威或搞革命，在這個時代將更變得強而有力。這個時候，或許我們應以樂觀角度，探討獨裁主義是否會因骨牌效應似的革命興起，真正步入歷史……

《强逼超重兔子跳恰恰的红色姑娘》

2011-01-29T10:29:00.006+08:00

《强逼超重兔子跳恰恰的红色姑娘》

从早上跟红色姑娘和超重兔子在facebook谈了一下无聊的东西，脑海里就浮现着这个场景（其实背景是在一个类似森林的一个羊肠小径，可是懒惰画）。

十五分钟后，马上下笔画了出来，要不然脑海里的映像挥之不去。

并没有想要影射什么，只是不画出来心不快。希望他们不要介意。。。况且能够被大师器用为题材，应该就是人生最高的巅峰了吧。

感谢红色姑娘和超重兔子。

2011-01-29T00:12:00.003+08:00

路未接：莫對文學進行“創意謀殺”

因涉及種族敏感課題的文學小說《Interlok》，或在今年成為中五馬來文學科小說教科書的可能性，引起印裔社群不滿，可能掀起一場“焚書劇”。

內容牽連到印裔社會等級的描述，及一些暗示貶低印族同胞的字眼，牴觸了印裔社會的敏感度。許多印裔代表領袖立即挺身而出，要求教育局重新考量將此文學作品納為中五教科書的動作。

每當各種族代表與社團過度渲染敏感課題時，眾人紛紛起義抵抗他們認為會導致別人對自己族群產生誤解的言行和文字。

中五的學生，難道沒有自己的想法，觀察現今各族的改變與成就，那么容易被《Interlok》的內容洗腦？這些指控不僅侮辱了國家文學家阿都拉胡申，更貶低國家未來主人翁的獨立思考力！

筆者為這個時代的馬來西亞人，尤其在“一個大馬”理念下，還是不能跨越種族障礙欣賞文學作品的藝術價值，感到遺憾。這並非指我國人民對文學藝術的認知低，而是我們還無法擺脫英國殖民時期對三大種族區分造成的陰影。

從文學角度上看，《Interlok》並非單單著重描述獨立初期的印裔社會，而是全面表達那個時候的社會觀點與現象。文學是藝術領域的分支，不免運用一些較為“排山倒海”的文字，來描述故事的發展與情緒。筆者常在創作虛擬故事時，大膽結合一些挑撥成分，以天馬行空的故事豐富故事內容。

倘若故事中涉及内容有关一个马来孩童被华人拐带后被撕票，华裔小孩被印裔后母虐待后自杀身亡，或马来少女被华裔色魔奸尸等等情节，难道我们又得以敏感的种族角度去看待剧情发展？

筆者在這裡提醒各位開明的讀者，《Interlok》並不是全面的歷史記錄文字，懇請大家別對作者進行“創意謀殺”！

一波四折小学入学记

2011-01-26T15:40:00.008+08:00

突然，回忆~过去，痛苦的相思忘不了~

喂~~~！没有啦。突然想到小学的故事，想要跟在座分享一下。知道的人就假装不知道，读过一遍吧。反正我文笔那么好，不读白不读。

话说，回到从前啊，妈妈家那里硬要我读国小。因为那时几乎我妈妈那边的表哥表姐都是读政府学校，不会讲也不会写华语。所以他们不想我打破“传统”。而爸爸那里呢，则没有怎样。可是当然是希望我可以读华语啦。

由于老佛爷势力甚大，没有人敌得过她，所以就帮我登记在Tungku Mahmood 国小。

后来发现，tungku mahmood我进不了 (多谢那些靠关系插队的人。是的，daniel, 就是你），被推进了一间新开的Seri Intan小学。没有桌子椅子就开课了。老佛爷得知后，觉得不妙。她无法忍受她的太子爷受到这种侮辱却仍然不心软接受送我读华小的建议。

后来我就跟他们说，给我读六年华语，然后中学我就乖乖到国中。

她逼我滴血发毒誓。。。

没有啦，哈哈。后来冰山老佛爷被我说动了。在千钧一发的时候就带我去中英华小报名。

可惜，名额已满。我们转战侨民华小。进去了，老佛爷看着简陋的课室就皱起眉头。俩老在外头看着我。我假装没有看到他们。然后，老师要求我们自我介绍，并讲解一些东西。l两个小时后他们就接到一通张牧师打来的电话，说中英华小有位子了！

爸爸直接把我从课室里抽了出来。

“来，跟老师和同学们说再见，我们要走了。”

我才刚刚认识身边的小朋友，他们就这样对我！可惜当年还小不懂得翻白眼给他们看. 和老师同学们说再见后，我们直奔中英华小。进入了1青班。

然后就因我伟大的贡献为整个中英华历史中写下辉煌的一页（讲爽的）。

打开辛蒂的心房

2011-01-20T14:40:00.001+08:00

你，站在爱人屋子外，对着大门大喊她的名字。尝试唤起那段美好的过去，找回那遗失的爱。

你手里握着一束玫瑰，转了个身，把右手伸向天际：“爱人！我的爱人辛蒂！哦，你打开门吧！”

辛蒂：“我们的爱情，噢，已经进入历史了，你走吧！你走吧！你走吧。。。”

你听见了辛蒂在屋子门后渐渐微弱的声音和涕泣，便大喊：“不！辛蒂！” 说完便把大门踢开。大门倒下了。辛蒂正拿着手巾拭眼泪。

你热泪盈眶地望着辛蒂：“辛蒂，我的爱人！”

辛蒂楚楚动人地望着你，说：“你进入了我的大门，可是你进不了我的房间！” 说完，就“啊！”一声转身跑上楼。

你伸出手，向着奔向楼梯的爱人，喊道：“辛蒂啊，我的辛蒂！”

随之，你也冲上楼，来到了她的房门前。

你以二十四节铃鼓敲打她房门，丢开手中的玫瑰，双手贴着房门，直直滑着下，跪倒在辛蒂房门前。

你：“爱人！开门啊，辛蒂！辛蒂。。。”

辛蒂：“不！我不开！我不开！我不开！是你！是你对不起我！为什么你要搭上那只蟑螂！为什么要做出对不起我的事！”

你：“爱人！爱人啊！我和蟑螂小姐是清白的！你对我们的误会，噢

，就像那大海深渊那么深呀！”

辛蒂：“不！你骗我！你走吧！你走吧！你走吧。。。＊咳嗽中＊　”

你听见了辛蒂在屋子门后渐渐微弱的声音再加上越来越大的咳嗽声，你

惊慌了，大喊：“辛蒂！你怎么了！我不走我不走！” 说完便把房门踢开。

你看到正在啃着薯条的辛蒂被噎着了。你：“辛蒂啊！”

辛蒂嘴巴里塞满着薯条，眼睛泛红，一副想要作呕的样子，然后就朝向天花板呕散了一团唾液混杂着的薯条，呕足准准两个小时半。你随着喷射出的浪花环绕着辛蒂跳起天鹅湖的芭蕾舞，辛蒂也在原点上３６０度的踮脚环绕。

呕吐停止了。你的舞蹈结束了。谢幕后，你向前，抓着辛蒂的手臂。

你：“辛蒂啊！我们重新燃烧起爱的火花吧！”

辛蒂怒瞪：“你进入了我的房门，可是你进不了我的心房！”　

听了后，你蹒跚后退。你用食指颤抖地指着辛蒂，用不可思议的眼神望着她。

你：“辛蒂。。。别。。。逼。。。我。。。”

辛蒂双手抱在胸前，甩了甩头发，然后把右手靠在额头前，仰天也一会儿，就对你说：“你，还想怎样。"

你连转两个身，拿起了那束玫瑰。辛蒂看到了玫瑰，嘴角忍不住上扬，一直强忍着感动中的微笑。

辛蒂：“你拿玫瑰来做什么。”　辛蒂别扭地耸动着肩膀，眼睛假装望向一旁。她的表情透漏了她多么想把整束玫瑰给啃了。

你一步步向前，认真又以挑逗的眼神直视着她，说道：“我现在就要。。。打开。。。你的心房。”

辛蒂脸颊泛红，一直幸福地撅嘴微笑。不时不时摘下花瓣往嘴巴里塞。

你在这时，从花束中，抽出一把电锯。辛蒂惊见事情不妙，问道：“你。。。要做什么？”

你把电锯看了电对着辛蒂的心脏，然后阴笑地看着她的眼睛说：“打开。。。你的心房。。。”

辛蒂：“啊！！！不！！！”

痛苦呐喊的声音停止了。电锯声音也停止了。这时，穿着高跟鞋，抽着烟的蟑螂小姐走到了你的身边。蟑螂小姐吐了口烟，一副“活该”的样子望着辛蒂被掰开来的遗骸。

蟑螂小姐：“做得好，宝贝。等一下把她送到我的生物实验室去。我需要一副人体标本。”

你轻轻弹了弹蟑螂小姐的翘臀，跟他眨了眨眼睛。她转身，做了个Ｍ字腿然后送你个飞吻。

屋外夜黑风高，雷电交加。你拖着辛蒂的遗骸一步步离开那个空洞的房

子。

2011-01-18T16:58:00.003+08:00

我不喜欢进电影院看电影，不是因为我不喜欢电影院，或则是看电影。跟很多解释过，大家就 “是啦，是啦！” ，听不进去。

我不去电影院看电影最大的原因是因为我不喜欢那些拍出只是为了给人看的电影。是，在电影艺术上，我承认我是以很学术的角度去欣赏它。对我而言，一部能够令人感动的电影不是故事情节，而是演员的表达方式。许多人很喜欢说：“那部电影的故事内容很感动。”　那我想问，他的演技有感动到你吗？

一位有实力的演员（撇开流行文化推崇的“人气”效应不谈），就算扮演一个茶壶的角色，仍能够感动人心。他的故事是透过肢体语言表达出来的。一个眼神，一个动作，包含着许多意思让观众去思考。

尤其是那种打响ｂｌｏｃｋ　ｂｕｓｔｅｒ　的电影，特技用到一大堆，排山倒海的那种，我是不会花钱去看的。我要支持，就要支持正统电影艺术，支持有演技的演员。

康城影展或奥斯卡提名的电影，大半的人听都没听过。就算在本地上映，回响当然不热烈。因为普罗大众不再为艺术去观赏电影，而是为了娱乐。导致为了艺术而拍的电影因商业电影的崛起而渐渐没落。

这，怪不了谁。但唯一我能做的，就是远离电影院，不帮他们增加所谓的“票房”。我相信世界许多国家，尤其是有艺术成就的西方国家如德国和法国，就连中国，有许多跟我有共同想法的电影爱好者。

虽然自己这份力量渺小，但是最重要是对得起自己。

2011-01-08T16:56:00.003+08:00

老佛爷说要去做头部和背部按摩疗程。

“按摩头部是种享受。尤其是给那个小伙子弄，”老佛爷说。

我只能说，那家伙根本就是在抠我头皮。

他还问我 “需不需要大力一点？” 。

这种问题他还问得出口。他~还~问~得~出~口。^%^&%&^%*&

头皮抠完几层后，就开始说按摩穴道。状况是比较好，也比较享受，还一种被人征服虐待的感觉真爽，也没有火烧头顶的感觉了。

不过咧，那家伙一直把我眼睛拉成丹凤眼。有几次还想按断我的太阳穴。真的很痛！那个女帮手则一直在后面看着镜子反射出来的我，搞到我好不自在！

什么贵族享受。根本就是用钱买罪受！最气愤的是，老佛爷叫我自己付钱！！！

注：老佛爷 = 我娘亲

2010-12-30T17:01:00.002+08:00

窝在家里几天后，今天终于踏出家门，好好地在居銮走走。

到了public mutual cancel 掉direct debit transaction (没有钱每个月投资RM100了。 T.T）

走在街上，发现居銮人很喜欢撞车。我在街上走了不到两个小时就看见两起小车祸。居銮果真是考车界吃KOPI钱的翘楚。I repeat: Kluang is the qiaochu for kopi driving license.

我停下来跟一群uncle 旁边看戏。两个aunties 咯。微撞而已，so没事，各自驾走。浪费我时间，我当场翻白眼。

去到报纸档想买报纸，不过老板不在。站在报纸档，司机以为我是newspaper boy,就叫我给他一个《中国报》。我叫老板不在，等一等。原来老板在后面打钥匙。买了报纸，我情不自禁地夹在ga lat dai走向McD跟朋友见面。走到一半有点不好意思，还是用手拿好了。

来到人行道，我press那个button。行人的traffic post 亮绿色20秒，只是让我过马路而已。所有的车都因为我而停了整段长龙。真不好意思。

和朋友聊得很开心，今天天气很好，没有太阳。

一天又过去了。现在就等着看7点闽南语剧。

人生啊~~~

《厨房怪卡》创作曲

2010-12-29T13:16:00.003+08:00

词曲创作：陆伟杰

Demo: 路未接

三个月前创作的尝试写的一首华语歌。本想着玩玩的心情去写的，哪里知道整首，尤其是副歌难唱到要死。

欢迎各界非主流音乐爱好者重新编曲。此歌较适合柔和散漫女声，谢绝那种所谓的恶心甜美教主。

2010-12-20T13:16:00.002+08:00

昨晚。。。发了个春梦～～～

在一个虚拟游戏世界里，我好像是个奶爸，负责照顾一个小孩子（卡通角色）　的饮食起居。然后身边就有一个类似游戏关主在旁指示我应该怎么做。

那个小孩想大便。我陪他到厕所，他脱了裤子后，游戏关主就说小孩子因为某种病症不可以坐着大便。要站着。我就叫他站着大便。还挺可怜了。然后大便慢慢滑出来，他的屁股周围都是深绿色大便汁。

由于他大便速度很慢，连我都想大便。我就到隔壁厕所蹲着大便，心想那孩子真可怜。可是想到等会儿，我还要帮他擦大便，我就担心起来了。

我大完便后，去隔壁厕所看他，他已经大完了。我正想拿卫生纸过去是，那个卡通小孩就穿好了衣服，换了新裤子。

我就很奇怪，游戏关主过后表示，这个游戏是这样的，不需要在孩子大便后帮他擦屁股。

后来孩子走了，游戏关主就过来把我按到墙上，然后我们就开始。。。

然后我就被敲门声叫醒。因为是时候去考试了。=.="

2010-12-19T11:04:00.000+08:00

路未接：表里不一的危机

当美国正在烦恼，如何收拾网站维基解密（WikiLeaks）公布不为人知的美国外交电报留下的烂摊子，西亚国家“人前人后两个样”的现象，也随之浮上台面。

沙地阿拉伯阿都拉国王不曾大肆反对伊朗核设施，两年前被爆多次要求美国对伊朗进行军事打击，实行全面制裁，阻拦伊朗的核武计划。新闻曝光后，沙地国王在国际媒体面前显得特别安静，不知是作贼心虚，还是不愿置评。

和美国站在同一阵线上的以色列则沾沾自喜向世人证明，他们的国家光明磊落，台面和私底都一致反对伊朗核武计划的立场。

从回教国的立场，以色列一直扮演大灰狼的角色。这次让以色列总理本雅明内塔尼亚胡逮到机会好好教训那些表里不一的邻国，表示如果各国领导人老实说清楚他们的看法，他们就能坦荡荡迈向和平。

真是个唯心主义的想法。

若真照以色列总理的方式沟通，一向团结的回教国必定会受影响，分成支持美国遏制伊朗核计划、支持伊朗发展核能的合法权利，和保持中立的三方。这僵持局面撑到最后，必定一发不可收拾。

在阿拉伯与回教世界，沙地的受欢迎程度，也不过稍多以色列而已。三方各自联盟彼此敌对，为自己坚持的政治理念对抗到底。到那个时候，以色列总理还能否信心满满推广摊牌方式让西亚“坦荡荡地迈向和平”？

不管怎样，“台面朋友”的面子还是要给足，因为政治以外，各国还得顾虑和他国经济科技发展的协调。不管是明争还是暗斗，都无法实现双赢局面。

透过这次维基解密事件，国家领袖得时时刻刻警惕自己的言论。就算以呢喃方式进行对话，都可能有朝一日被媒体这穿透力强的扩音器，公诸于世。

麦当劳前寻牛父记

2010-12-09T13:21:00.007+08:00

牛爸自从被人类带走后，牛儿每晚都问牛妈爸爸的下落。牛妈含着眼泪，不知如何解释。

牛妈：“孩子，明天我们去看爸爸。”　

隔天，牛妈带着牛儿来到麦当劳面前。她千吩咐万吩咐牛儿要小心，别让人类发现他们的踪迹。

牛儿：“可是。。。爸爸在哪里？不是说好要来找爸爸的吗？”

徐徐的风打在牛妈脸上，牛马只能怀着怨气望着麦当劳的Ｍ字招牌，强忍着随时会从眼眶滴下的眼泪。

这时，水牛婆从母子俩身后走前去。

水牛婆：“哟牛妞（牛妈），怎么啦，来看老公呀？”

牛妈用牛蹄拭干眼泪转身对牛儿说：“我们别理他。”

水牛婆不放弃，嘲笑着地说：“还好麦当劳不卖水牛汉堡，我们才不怕被人类发现呐。”

牛妈和牛儿还是背对着水牛婆，不理会她。

水牛婆见母子没反应就无趣地说：“那。。。你们继续在外面等吧。看看人类几时会来托你们去宰牛场。哈哈~”

母子俩一警惕，四处张望察看是否有人类虎视眈眈地准备突击他们。

贱水牛婆说完拜拜后，突然一辆去着Malim Nawar 的巴士飞速从后面冲了上来！

水牛婆：“No~！！！！” 就这样，水牛婆被巴士撞死了。周围在做生意的人类通通抛了出来一探究竟。

这时，中东餐厅老板突然开心叫道：“水牛！是水牛！！哈哈！！有水牛餐可以吃了！！”　说完就一个人努力地拖着它沉重尸体回餐厅。托着拖着，中东餐厅的老板发现牛母子站在麦当劳面前。

牛妈心想：“完蛋！”，然后便和牛儿假装望去大马路那边，一直吹口哨。中东餐厅的老板绕着他们走一圈，看俩牛的脚在颤抖着，疑心一起，就向前用食指一直tuk牛妈的背部。牛妈忍着不出声，中东餐厅老板发现他们没什么特别才离开。

牛妈提起牛蹄再度拭干眼泪，心想：“我们真苦命，死了被吃，活着还被性骚扰。”

这时，身为英文系讲师的你带着孩子从麦当劳出来看见了两只牛在你们面前，你喊道：“Holy cow～!"

牛妈再度警惕，连声叫牛儿：“快，把眼睛盖起来！”　警觉性高的牛儿提起牛蹄遮着双眼，前身呈现出一个匍匐动作。

你对你仅有５岁的孩子说：“Baby, you see. 牛有跪乳之恩，就是这样来的。所以啊，以后要孝敬爸爸妈妈，知道吗？

你５岁孩子望着你，说：“妈妈，妈妈，不是羊有跪乳之恩吗？”

你巴了孩子两巴掌，生气地说：“What the hell！ 5岁的孩子有需要把动物分得那么清楚吗!" 说完便站起来，太阳眼镜一上鼻梁，转身离开：“你自己回家。”

你５岁孩子放声大哭，拉着你的衣角，他被拖着走。背景还是中东餐厅老板很努力地拉着卡在餐厅入口处那水牛婆的尸体，口里骂着听不明的阿拉伯脏话。

牛妈偷偷瞄了一眼，就对放心地孩子说：＂牛儿，可以把牛蹄放下来了。。。“

牛儿眨了眨眼睛，也放心地说：“妈妈，还好他们没有发现我们。”

牛马欣慰地看着牛儿，微笑说：“是啊牛儿，还是我们牛类比较聪明。”

这时，一只母鸡经过，问道：“怎么，你老公也成汉堡了？”

牛妈轻轻点头。

母鸡摇着头，　叹道：“这真是我们的宿命啊。”

牛妈继续说：“你的老公也是？”

母鸡说：“不只是我的老公，他们还抢走我生下来的蛋！”

牛妈：“噢，亲爱的母鸡，没想到你比我们更可怜！”

母鸡：“没有啊。反正那时刚好那时我们闹离婚。他发现了我在外面养的小白脸后简直气翻了。”

母鸡轻轻撞了撞牛妈的前右蹄，淘气地说：“怎样，要不要我介绍给你？”

牛妈：“我不能这样。”

母鸡　“切”　了一声后，补了补口红，就发骚地掉头离开。

牛儿踢了踢牛妈的脚，说：“妈妈，妈妈，我知道爸爸在哪里了。。。”　

懂事坚强的牛儿热泪盈眶。

徐徐的风再度打在牛妈的脸上。牛妈望着 Double Cheeseburger，心里对老公发誓她将会好好抚养牛儿成长。　　

剧终

2010-12-04T17:14:00.006+08:00

前两天，刚好CC妹妹的妹妹到访，我们全家来到Tesco逛逛。突然，CC从远处来兴奋地跑到我身边。。。

CC：“喂喂喂，你看，那个人有没有很靓仔？” 说完就指向鲜鱼部那里的一个男生。我直接从卖cheese的地方直走，站到那个男生旁边。我对他笑了笑，就转对鱼笑。

我心想：“唔，果然是CC喜欢的小白脸类型。” 不得不承认，他的皮肤白皙，双颊还呈现出红润的光泽。我这只迈入抗老化阶级的千年老妖恨不得把他的皮剥下来。

过后，我走到他的另一边看鱼，发现了他的弟弟。跟他完全两个样！噢，他的弟弟，皮肤黝黑，长得也太可爱了吧？他弟弟一直以怪异的眼神看着我，我一直对他挑眉毛眨眼睛。后来小白脸和他弟弟离开后，我也回到CC身边。

“你爱哥哥那种小白脸，我就喜欢他弟弟。真符合我口味。”

那个只有三岁半的弟弟离开的时候含着拇指，全程露出害怕神情望着我。

2010-12-03T13:43:00.000+08:00

当完贵族后的日子

2010-11-24T19:49:00.002+08:00

当你发现银行户口只剩几百令吉时
不要感到忧伤
不要自艾自怨

要努力让自己活得有尊严！
气势还是要撑得起来！

收起你的泪
成长吧
我的孩子们！
你给我成长！

我们不要为钱而活
而是钱要为我们而活！

用掉它！用掉它！
用它换来一份光荣
换来一个暂时身份象征

我
就是这样麻醉自己

花了RM12
过着贵族生活

注：买一送一，在 Minat Supermarket

2010-11-19T21:13:00.004+08:00

有一天，在驾车时，ｅｌｗｅｅｎ　问道。。。

Elween：“你们记不记得以前啊，数学课时我们有学那种90 degree的三角形？然后那个最长的那个有一个名字的，叫什么了？”

CC: "什么来的？”

Ms Ivy: "我不知道。”　

Elween：“Ｔｈｅｒｅ，　那个啦，那个ｆｏｒｍｕｌａ就是3（to the power of 2) + 6(to the power of 2) 然后整个ｓｑｕａｒｅ　ｒｏｏｔ的啊。。。”

CC：“Trigonometry 的啊？”

Ms Ivy: "不知道, 不知道。”

Elween：“不是啦，是以前很久很久就学过的，最简单的啊。。。”

CC：“名字很像是phy什么什么的。。。”

Ms Ivy: "我不知道，不要问我。”

Elween：“对啊，那个是它的ｔｈｅｏｒｅｍ　的名字, pythagoras．．．可是那条线的名字是什么勒？”

CC：“它的ｓｐｅｌｌｉｎｇ很像是P开始的。”

Ｅｌｗｅｅｎ：“可是我记得是H开始的哦。。。”

Ms Ivy: "我不知道，我~不~知~道~（有音调的）。”

CC：“是么？　它不是那个像ｔｒｉｇｏｎｏｍｅｔｒｙ里那个圆圈的。。。”

Ｅｌｗｅｅｎ：“不是！不是!不是 (激动）!是最基本的，以前学的啦！！是H字母开始的，然后Ｓ结尾的！”

ＣＣ：“是Ｐ吧。”

Ms Ivy: "我不知道，我没有学过。。。”

Ｅｌｗｅｅｎ：“不是P！！！”

回到家后，elween 马上冲进房间google - 发现了那条线的名字。

Elween：“（冲到楼下跟大家喊）喂！！！　是ｈｙｐｏｔｈｅｎｕｓ　啦！！！我都讲是Ｈ开始，ｓ结尾的勒！！”

ＣＣ：“夷，是哦？看一下看一下（到房间看电脑）oh i see..."

Elween：“你看，是不是（兴奋）？”

ＣＣ：“哦，是咯。哈哈。原来是hypothenus..."

Elween:　“是啊！我都讲了，Ｈ开始的，ｓ　结尾的啊　（持续兴奋中）！”

ＣＣ：“　（低沉沙哑嗓音怒吼）哦啦哦啦！知道啦！要讲多少次　（回自己房间）！”

Ｅｌｗｅｅｎ："（下楼）祥明，是hypothenus耶！记得了吧？”

祥明：“（炒饭中）哦，是咯，我记得了。。．＂　

ＭｓＩｖｙ："(Ｅｌｗｅｅｎ穿过Ms Ivy 房间, 听到她喃喃自语）我以前都没有学过，听都没有听过。。。”

Ｅｌｗｅｅｎ　上楼回房关门。

2010-11-16T19:53:00.002+08:00

主人把参须和龙眼干丢进杯子里闷茶。俩物躺在水里开始讥讽。

参须：“我说呀，像你这种不甜的龙眼干我还挺少见的呢。”

龙眼干：“我不甜又惹到你吗？参～须～，还自以为是人参。”

参须：“我至少还是人参的其中一部分，粘点边儿，粘点光。哪像你那么没种（没有种子）。”

龙眼干：“喂！我曾经也是有种的好不好。为了方便人类，我才牺牲变龙眼干的！”

参须: “你牺牲得也未免太不值了吧。别的龙眼干香甜可口，而看看你。。。”

龙眼干：“你凭什么说我不甜!”

参须：“要是你甜的话，主人闷茶时就不用加糖了啦！”

龙眼干回头凶巴巴地透过透明锅子瞪着糖。糖被吓哭了。

盐：“不要怕，不要怕。。。不管你的事，别理他们，反正他们也出不来打你。。。”　盐站在糖旁边护着它，边看着老羞成怒的龙眼干，边一直后退。

参须：“怎么？输不起啊？”

龙眼干回头继续面对参须：“我又圆，又比你大粒，又有肉。你那干巴巴的德性？我还真输你咧！”

参须：“我数量多，你打得过我吗？有肉又怎样？也不过干肉而已！”

这时主人进来，打开盖子一看。

主人：“咦～～膨胀后的参须和龙眼干多么令人尴尬。讨厌。”

说完把他们倒进洗碗盆里。

2010-11-09T19:29:00.002+08:00

拍了毕业照片。有种恐怖的感觉。

人小只，西装根本撑不起来。前面看起来不错，也是得感谢kenny提供的夹子，把多余的布料夹掉。毕业服，不用说，更大得可以Batman奔月了。

看着周围身材魁梧的壮男们，突然觉得好渺小。志气要高昂都高不起来。拍照时又必须时时刻刻要求别人蹲下，要不然就从下拍上。

身高让我做不了很多事。进入古典歌剧当歌剧演员的理想-破灭了。不能够修读歌剧表演艺术，只能朝歌剧教学发展。现在又因过度酗酒，连唱简单的F#都有点开始reach 不到。以前还可以飚到Ab的！

还有一件事，就是笑容。发现人到了一定的年龄，笑容变得特别僵硬。我不会在镜头前面笑。No，不是肉毒打太多。我也不明白。笑肌真的提不起来。看见别人笑得好灿烂，只见自己笑得好烂。要在镜头面前笑得自然，能够练到了吗？孩。。。

毕业照是美好的。好久没聚在一起了。平时大家都有不同党派，今天大家都玩得很开心，很疯。对于那些喜欢把自己锁在自己的框框世界里的人，只希望他们能够敞开心中那扇门，不要再封锁自己。毕竟剩下的6个月也不多了。而对于那些一直用“我就是这样”为挡箭牌的朋友们，我赠送你几个 XXXX ，自个儿保重。加油咯。

啊。好想大便。

大地雷公，恶邻居与狗肉

2010-11-07T14:19:00.003+08:00

你对炮竹声的厌恶已经到了一个万寿无疆的程度。你讨厌那些不守法律的人，恨不得他们自己被炸得粉身碎骨。

还记得两年前，对面邻居在除妖节时邀请你到他家做客。你满怀祝福的和邻居拥抱，并献上了一句“除妖节快乐”。而正当对方说：“谢谢啊，哈哈哈”的第三个‘哈’，你点燃了一颗大地雷公丢进他嘴里。由于声音响亮，在场都开始鼓掌欢呼，感激你为他们的节庆增添不少热闹。

然而，对面邻居因上次的举动就对你不满，因为你买的ｘｘｘ牌大地雷公并不是他喜欢的口味。他用他那已被炸烂的嘴巴到处跟其他邻居贬低你选大地雷公的能力。从此以后，你更加憎恨他们每逢佳节玩炮竹的行径。

你家里养了一只狗，可是吝啬的你却却没有为他申请狗牌。大家都知道小黑是你从他婴儿时期就收留的狗狗，殊不知你是历经跟母狗的一番搏斗才从她那里抢过来的。不时不时，你就会放它出去到别人家撒尿以示惩罚。

有一天，在除妖节期间的一个下午，你听到了几响炮竹声。

“下午也玩，晚上也玩！有完没完啊！”

你妹妹突然从楼上对你说了一句。

“不是炮竹。是市议会派人来打野狗的枪声。小黑被他们拖走了。”

你捂着嘴巴，泪水直流。椅子，也坐不稳了。双手颤抖。你冲到篱笆旁，只见小黑冷冷的尸体躺在那对奸笑夫妇的前面。你直等他们，发誓以后将会请他们吃更难吃的ｙｙｙ牌大地雷公。

小黑被拖走了。你崩溃，对着市议会的车大喊。

“把尸体还给我！你－把－尸－体－还－给－我！”　你的手指紧紧地扣在篱笆上，指尖流血了，篱笆也快被拉断了。你妹妹从后面搂着你。

“姐！　你冷静点！”

你靠着篱笆滑下，无助地坐在地上。

“养了它这么久，我竟然无法尝到它的肉。。。我。。。我。。。”

妹妹盖着你的嘴巴，然后抱着你的头，安慰说

“没关系，没关系的。我们再找回那只母狗，逼它交配，再生几不只就得了。”

你擦干眼泪，望着妹妹。

“我们的狗肉大餐。。。”

妹妹阴笑。你也跟着阴笑。

2010-09-25T23:47:00.011+08:00

facebook上，大家都知道我正在收集曾经迷恋过的学长和学姐吧。我认为那些可能和那些我迷恋过的学长学姐有联系的，我就一个个去他们的friend list去找。

放长线不一定钓得到大鱼，可是上钩的ikan bilis啊，可能也是很符合味口的！曾经忘记他们的我，一一把他们找回了。

看到了一些熟悉的面孔却不认识的，就算了不add了。曾经讨厌的，就回想起我讨厌他们的点点滴滴，然后快点close tab. 样子有些变了，有些还是一样。把想add 的都add 了。希望时不时去他们profile看看他们的照片啊还是怎样的。呵呵（欸，恶心）。

我发现我迷恋的都是那些成绩卓越的学长学姐们。而且很巧的是，他们那时候都有戴牙套。原来我那时已经对牙齿整齐疯狂迷恋已经开始了。

一些学长，根本没变老！有的还是一副top student的模样，很迷人。智慧所散发出的魅力，我真的，嚄，超爱。

当我收到facebook的讯息告知我他们已经接受我的邀请后，我的心变得好开心！等一个个上钩后，我就把他们给全吃了！

然而，我最最最喜欢以及最最最期待他会add我的，竟然没add我。我心机重，有把他的profile page bookmark起来。然后每天去看。他啊，所有information都Set Privacy的。照片什么的都看不到！气死人。后来发现他的Profile Picture 换了后，就大概知道他ignore我的request 了吧。欸，可悲又可惜。

此外，我也发现他。。。他。。。已经订婚了。

这真是场悲剧。看到那么有才华那么有智慧的他写给他另一半的一首短诗，我真的好想把电脑给砸了。

孩，不是我的，终究都不会是我的。让他去吧~反正跟我同龄的他（lompat PTS的) 脸都烂成那种样子了。

可是我还是会bookmark 他的Profile Page啦。看看或许他的status 会改回"single" again 后我就发动攻势, 献上我３２寸腰围的躯体。

P/S : Ｈｉｇｈ　Ｓｃｈｏｏｌ的朋友们，要知道他们是谁？不告诉你们。告诉你们，你们也不认识。只有郭妹知道。哈哈！

注：他们都不是华人！

2010-09-21T13:15:00.002+08:00

哈哈。昨晚的梦，很搞笑。

我梦见了《搭车去柏林》的谷岳和刘畅耶！乌呼！那时我上了一辆Local巴士，看见了二人，就告诉他我想学他们，搭顺风车一路上泰国。谁知，谷岳直接告诉我何必那么麻烦，直接搭巴士或火车不就好吗。可是当时我意志坚定，就是要搭顺风车！

很奇怪的是，同样在巴士上的郭妹突然按了铃下了车，说看见前面有一辆停了下来的货车。他提着大包小包下了巴士，自己一个人去拦住那辆货车。我傻眼。

奇怪的是，他把手伸进别人的车窗内，别人本来想不理他就要开车走，他的手却又卡在窗缝之间，然后被拖着走了几步，喊了几声。货车司机竟然停了下来，让他搭上了顺风车！我在巴士上和谷岳刘畅看得目瞪口呆！

2010-09-15T20:27:00.004+08:00

今天，是个怪天。

在雨中醒来后，我打开了房门发现一只小壁虎瘫在那里，幽幽地在不知等着什么。很想把它杀了，可是房间里没有可以杀它的武器。随便掏了掏一根木棒从它的上方敲下去。可是它很机智，很快就逃进sian ming房间避难。

然后接下来我每一次开门一定会看到它在门缝那里。大概。。。5 或6 次吧！而我就是杀不了它。

好了，到了晚上我正要去冲凉时，它还是窝在那里。我由得它开心，就奔下楼拿了把扫把跑上楼。好，他还是在那里。它似乎发现了这次的状况对它有些不利了，又开始逃跑。可惜的是，它逃到了死角。我扫把就直接从它的上面对着他一直矬一直矬一直矬，矬到它的尾巴解体，矬到他五脏六腑腐烂。

一只壁虎为什么不好好去爬墙壁，硬硬要在我房门口那里？把它赶到sian ming 那干净的皇宫去那么多次，它还是要回到我这儿的垃圾场。如果是真喜欢垃圾场的，它应该跑到CC那里啊！更何况他是个爱惜壁虎之人啊。

好奇怪的小壁虎。愿它好好再马桶里安息吧。

2010-09-12T18:00:00.006+08:00

金马伦之行 part 2

顺便提一提，我们在金马伦庆祝了国庆。从对面那栋建筑物玻璃窗的反射，我们看到了烟花和'pok pok pok' 声。不管怎样，还是盖不过隔壁传来的G调C key唱的K歌之王。

Sian Ming 因为枕头有异味而没能安眠。他最早起身冲凉。还说温水热热的，很舒服。一进去，是啊，头头是很舒服的。然后不知哪根电线不对劲儿，水变得越来越凉。热水器发疯了。最后，我像个振动娃娃似的冲出来。

我们在一间华人茶餐室点了早餐。虽然Sian Ming的糯米鸡很像很好吃，但是我的叉烧包是100%难吃。过后，跟着昨晚在迷你市场拿回来的宣传纸上的地图，我们前进草莓园。走着走着，咦，sian ming 发现我们说话有吞吐气的现象。我们平地人就是sua gu, 趁着这种天就一直自我深呼吸和拍照。可惜，相机不好，没能不抓到那团‘白气’。

看到什么？对， Ms. Ivy的嘴巴。

来到了这个一眼望过去就觉得是个商业化的草莓园，我什么兴致都没有了。是啊，看到了很多草莓啊，蔬菜啊，花儿啊还有葡萄。我眼前浮现的画面，只是一堆种在温室里的$$$画面。不管怎样，至少我也用了人家两次厕所。免费的，真神奇。高高兴兴地拼了老命去冲水。

从那份宣传单上，我无意间瞄到了一个博物馆。咦，不错一下。走了几百米，上了一个坡，我们到了。我们先来到了建筑物的另一端，什么博物馆都没看到，以为被耍了。然后我们再往下走，就看见了“时光隧道”。我们到了前面，一位工作人员给了我们关于博物馆的宣传单。本来想直接进去了，可是他给我们宣传单，就只好演一演　“咦，什么来的啊？是博物馆咧！要进去看看吗？好啊好啊！”。　好累。　

买了票，我们就进入了时光隧道。看到了很多在１９３０至１９６０年代的展览物品，有玩具，日历，海报及很多很多现在已经看不到的珍藏品。如果有兴趣知道黑人牙膏以前的设计长得什么样子，就自己去看看吧。虽然他让我们拍照，我还是觉得好东西就是要你自己去亲身体验的。自己去找吧你！

回途中，Sian Ming 人就是太好，帮朋友们买了好多玉蜀黍和草莓。我们回到了旅舍，收拾了一下东西，又到对面的手工精品店走走。简直就是浪费时间。烂。店。一。间。

原本还打算直接下ｉｐｏｈ去的，因为我还想去木歪（ｂｅｒｕａｓ）这座被遗忘的历史古城去看看。不管怎样，我们还是放弃了这个计划。下个学期，我会去那个地方的。顺便到班台（Ｐａｎｔａｉ　Ｒｅｍｉｓ）　去看看那里的渔村。

离开了旅舍，我们叫了一辆的士送我们回Ｔａｎａｈ　Ｒａｔａ．ＲＭ　６．的士司机说他的女儿也在ｕｔａｒ读书。我们聊了聊对于金马伦气候变化的现象，他也只能微微地叹气，说温度每一年都持续上升。也难怪ＣＣ跟我们说以前金马伦是冷的，现在只能说是凉而已。

在ＣＣ曾经打工的地方吃了午餐，又再次看到了一滩一滩的洋人。奇怪的是，我们在Ｂｒｉｎｃｈａｎｇ时，一个洋人都没遇到。　或许Ｔａｎａｈ　Ｒａｔａ比较有西方情调吧。当然，价钱方面也很西方。

当天正是国庆日。巴士车费涨了５０仙。对于我们这种长途的就还好。可是对于在Ｒｉｎｇｌｅｔ工作的外劳，他们就真的很不满。许多外劳和售票员争执，直到那位印裔ａｕｎｔｙ对着那批孟加拉外劳大喊。

售票ａｕｎｔｙ："你们不要跟我投诉，要投诉就去跟那只鬼（巴士老板）讲！我已经帮你们从涨价RM1 减到RM0.50了，我所有乘客都不开心，但是我有什么办法！”

可怜的她和可怜的外劳。你们也知道我多么爱外劳，和他们的身材。人们总是鄙视他们，认为他们全都是坏蛋。他们也只不过是为了糊口才过来的！你们凭什么这样去用异样的眼光去看人家！拜托，他们都已经穿性感紧身牛仔裤了，你们还想怎样啊，马来西亚人！

其中一位很可爱的外劳跟sian ming 诉苦，而我，坐在远方，只能在背地里妒忌Sian Ming这段艳福。

几个小时后，我们再次变回平地人。热死了。最后，让我为大家介绍~

Ms Ivy - 《世界那么别扭》的主持人

剧终

2010-09-11T20:55:00.002+08:00

Elween: "上哪儿吃饭？”
CC：“成业咯（经济饭）。”
Elween：“哦。。。”
CC：“还是要去吃Pizza?"
Elween　& Ms. Ivy:＂好啊！”

人生追求的，只不过就是最高的物质享受。

2010-09-10T12:38:00.003+08:00

30/8/2010

金马伦之行 part 1

这是一趟在没有计划下进行的旅程。想想既然在考试前有两个星期的休假，不如逃到金马伦高原避避暑。

我们非常庆幸地搭上了邻居警察先生，又或夜里买汉堡包的帅哥父子挡那位父亲的车。他穿的是若隐若现的singlet。真的。身材这样好，不看白不看。

新鞋的第一次奉献给金马伦了

乘着又闷又热的巴士到了Tapah才发现上金马伦的巴士刚刚离开了。接下来的一趟将会是在三个小时后。这跟两年前我们上金马伦的经验一样。开心的是，我有机会能够到Tapah附近走走。

午餐后，我们就开始乱逛，只是这次我们走到市中心外的一个休闲公园。那里的人很奇怪，3.00pm顶着个太阳在那里跑步。不知他们追求的是要成为阳光男孩还是为了得皮肤癌。

我们在长凳上休息一会儿。当我在打理散乱的头发时，竟然给我理出一个萨密维露先生（noh, 我家隔壁的隔壁的隔壁的那位咯）发型。在这时候，背后传来了几只小鸟的“笑声”。我每理一次，他们就笑一次！Ms. Ivy 和 Sian Ming更是笑个不停。

人兼鸟心险恶。

最近爱上了旅游记式的节目。因此我提议大家来做一段录影，介绍公园里一些比较奇特的树木或花丛。我只能说，Ms Ivy 的主持功力非~常~强，片段非~常~精彩。

为了Hatyai的旅程，我买了一个RM20 的背包。看起来就是一个很奇怪的背包，可是看久了，欸，慢慢发现有我的影子在里面。根本就是完完全全地写了我的名字在那里。

有我的光环加持的背包

巴士终于抵达了。刚上路不久，天开始下起大雨来了。我又那么庆幸地选到了一个只剩一个窗口的位子。前面那个男人不停跟我斗拉，最后两败俱伤。算了！好人就是牺牲小我的。我就撤退到巴士尾段的座位。坐在我隔壁的那位中学小弟弟的裤子竟然有用原子笔画上了的许多小卡通。很搞笑。

雨滴从之前那个窗口狂洒进来，整个巴士都淹水了。可怜那位外国旅者在地上的大包包，全都湿了。本来我还想告诉他的，后来发现他一直沉醉于自己的MP3 还是ipod之类的，我就心想，好啊，活该。活在自己世界的人，给你包包湿一湿也好！

到了Tanah Rata，我们开始寻找最最最便宜的旅舍。后来发现，连最最最便宜的都要RM45 一人！其实我们有想过，为了省下住宿的费用，我们不介意在路边或巴士站里过夜。最后，因CC的一封短讯告知我们 “Brinchang 离 Tanah Rata 没有太远”，我们就打算步行到Brinchang看看。

感谢CC的“没有太远”，和Sian Ming的GPRS所显示的“距离600米”，给了我们一个希望。让我们一走就用了一个小时十五分左右走上了几公里！一直上坡的路，再加上细雨绵绵，肩上还背着笨重的包袱！真是太棒了。

终于，我们看到了KFC。看到KFC就看到了希望。因为只有Brinchang有KFC。这就证明我们到了Brinchang了。我们继续往上走，来到了一个叫 Green Hill Lodge的旅舍. 负责人 Uncle William 头头告诉我们，一晚得付RM60，我们的心又沉了下来。竟然还比Tanah Rata的贵！后来，他才说，是RM60 一整间房。开心死我们了。Ms Ivy 还一直一直一直一直一直一直在uncle William 面前学我时常用的两个子 “赚到”。=.="

Checked in 后, 放下了东西，我们直接冲下楼去找晚餐。刚刚uncle William 介绍我们去吃碳烧火锅。那一整条街，全都是碳烧火锅店。他告诉我们可是试一试两人份的。一共RM30 。冷冷的天气，吃着暖暖的火锅，而且又有帅哥外劳服务我们，又激情又暖活。

过后，我们去了一间迷你超级市场。Sian Ming看到了那里的豆类的价钱，简直发了疯。他虽然没买，可是就一直拉着我的手，瞪了眼睛认真地跟我说：“你知不知道这样子一包，金宝卖多少钱 (意思是那里卖很便宜）？”　我很想回他：" 管我屁事，我又不吃豆。” 我只是一心要到卖咖啡的地方去扫一扫几包咖啡，买回旅社里喝。

回到了房间，我帮大家泡了咖啡。真好喝！咖啡瘾又回来了。算了。我们一边喝咖啡，一边看电视节目，sian ming有一直忙着打电话，通知他的classmate关于选科的消息。

(金马伦 Part 2 待续...)

2010-09-07T20:50:00.001+08:00

p/s: 纯粹发表一下感想。我并没有被任何人歧视 ok　（真的很担心对号入座的人,　也包括我自己）.　

*****

这双脚。。。

很多毛。

这不是重点。

这双脚，带我走过很多地方。

可是之前脚伤的后遗症，只要走太长时间的路，脚，尤其是膝盖，就开始疼痛了。没有去看医生，也不敢去看，很想去，却没勇气，认为它会自己痊愈。

或许有人会认为脚那么没用还要学人家到处旅行。也可能有人会笑说走一会儿就累了，不如留在家里算了。他们就喜欢比较，认为自己比他们好。，时不时就会说：“你累咯？”然后给你一个“我还没累”的鬼眼。至少在同行伴侣中我还没有这种鬼人。Ｇａｍ　ｓｉａ．

我，自认体力有缺陷。心有余而力不从。然而我并非想成为冒险家，或攀岩高手。翻山越岭的本事我没有（虽然游泳还蛮强的），我只有一颗想要到处走的心。身体累了，脚疼了，就停下来。心跳不规律，就放慢呼吸速度调理。

我不跟他们比较，就算他们要比较，我直接认输好了。反正让别人笑笑，我也不吃亏。走在路上，累了我就直接一屁股坐在路上咯，管别人怎么看。怕我丢他们脸的，自己可以先走，不用等我啊。可能遗传到Aunty Lucy的个性吧。Shopping shop累了，我们就直接坐坐在电梯上等电梯自己慢慢走。

这双脚，虽然短，速度慢，可是它可是我在外最好的交通工具。

可是我却不知它还能耐多久。不管怎样，就算双脚跛了，得一辈子依赖轮椅生活，我还要继续坚持我的意念，留在家里喝咖啡。

2010-09-02T20:00:00.004+08:00

作品名称：《两只想吃唐僧肉的狐狸精》
@
《想要被两只狐狸精吃掉的唐僧》

摄于东兴港（Tronoh Mines）
Ong Hooi Hoon艺术之作

2010-08-26T19:45:00.001+08:00

２２　八月　２０１０　　　　雨　（醒来时间：约６．３０ｐｍ）　

我很少睡下午觉的。但由于连续两天通宵和购物马拉松，我终于倒在床上，不知不觉睡了３个小时，又发了两个梦。　

ｍｅｇａ梦：我不记得梦的前半段，只记得我的幼稚园院长，Ｍｒｓ．　Ｌｅｅ邀请我到他家的花园享用ｈｉ－ｔｅａ．

他的花园来了许多客人。Ｍｒｓ。　Ｌｅｅ的母亲（大约７０至８０岁）在花园自个儿骑脚踏车。他不时不时就投诉脚踏车的左边很奇怪，不听他的使唤可是没有人理他，以为那只是她的幻觉。大家忙着交际而可怜的婆婆自个儿骑着脚踏车兜来兜去。

直到婆婆跌倒后，大家才开始注意她。我上前去把他扶起来并把他架到轮椅上。跌了一脚却还像没事一样，继续推着轮椅继续‘游花园'. My goodness =.="

我看了看脚踏车，检查了它的刹车系统。果然，左手边的刹车遥控既然设计在不合理的位置上！

当我问谁是脚踏车的主人，ｓｉａｎ　ｍｉｎｇ以他一贯作风的大笑风格承认。大家就以奇怪的眼神看着他。

同时，在花园里，我看见了Ｔｅａｃｈｅｒ　Ｄａｉｓｙ和他的家人。Ｔｅａｃｈｅｒ　Ｄａｉｓｙ是我最喜欢的幼稚园老师同事之一。他的女儿，Ｓｙｌｖｉａ也是和我很亲近的学生。直到他们正要离开时，我才有机会和他们聊天。

在我还没有离开幼稚园之前，Ｔｅａｃｈｅｒ　Ｄａｉｓｙ已经怀了一个男孩，殊不知他在Ｓｙｌｖｉａ之前已经有了一个大女儿（在我梦里）。我和他们聊了一下，就上前去Ｓｙｌｖｉａ那里。他应该还记得我的，只是忘记了我的名字。是有一点失望，这就证明了幼稚园老师在学生心目中的地位了。

然后我就走向Ｔｅａｃｈｅｒ　Ｄａｉｓｙ的儿子，问了他的名字。他含糊地回答了一个我听不明句子。问了几次后，他的父亲觉得我烦死了，就写了ＭＵＳＬＩＭ和ＴＨＲＥＥ这两个字在纸上，告诉我他儿子的名字是Ｍｕｓｌｉｍ，今年３岁。得知他们身为基督徒的这个ｋａｄａｚａｎ家庭改信回教后，我感到无比惊讶。

Ｍｉｎｉ梦　Ｉ：这个梦叙述了要前往Ｈａｔ　Ｙａｉ的那天。我们请了一位司机载我们到ｍｅｌａｋａ因为据说那里有直接到Ｈａｔ　Ｙａｉ的巴士。我们好像是最后一分钟才还是准备收拾的。我的队员们（不记得是谁）都收拾好后便到一辆猪肝红的Ｐｒｏｔｏｎ　Ｓａｇａ里等我。

到了楼下，我问了问当时在我们家前面骑脚踏车的Ｓｅｎｇ　Ｃｈｉｎｇ，看她会带几多件衣服去　（她也将会去Ｈａｔ　Ｙａｉ可是会在另一个日期出发）。她说她不会带太多衣服，会到ＨａｔＹａｉ那里才买衣服。我想了一下，又看了看在车里等我等得不耐烦的司机ｕｎｃｌｅ和队员们。

最后，我决定上楼上再带多几件衣服。

如果在真实生活中发生这种事，我连我自己都无法原谅！　

2010-08-23T23:21:00.000+08:00

每次当我充满期待要出去走走，就会遇到大事件。

之前要去hatyai，却发生了红衫军曼谷示威和hatyai爆炸事件, 而取消了。现在，又给我来一个菲律宾前警长挟持人质的绑架案，导致6名不幸旅客当场毙命！为什么一定要这样呢？

不关事的人，无缘无故赔上了性命，还是死在他国tiam！

虽然读到这片报道总是会让爱出游的我们人心慌慌，但是仔细想想，不管是游客还是当地人，这种事情会发生终究还是会发生的。匪徒如果真巧碰到你，不管你是什么人，你都是会中遭。

可是内心还是会很担心，哪怕一天在出外的巴士上，遭到坏人挟持，然后被当成人质被杀死，那么我的家人该怎么办？我也很怕子弹穿过我的脑袋！！我真的很怕这种突然死亡的到来！病死真的都没有那么恐怖。

不行了，我真的太激动了。今天真的无法入眠。为着6位牺牲的亡魂，我只能为他们，同时也为世界和平来祈祷。

2010-08-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

18/8/2010

这个梦，说来就奇怪。

让我先和大家讲讲有关一个人在泰国的旅游经历。我上了他的部落格读到了他在泰国被威胁的经验。他和朋友来到了泰国红灯区看‘乒乓秀’，秀价定与100baht, 可是完后，妈妈桑威胁他交出3400baht。他机智的应对方式突然让我自己觉得好孬种，因为如果一群壮大的阿非仔们围着我，我一定乖乖交出3400baht，然后就跑到Chao Phraya大哭一场。顺便打小人。

而这个梦，突然给了我一个机会去面对类似的一个情景。

在梦中，我和ka mei来到了一个住家式的面包厂。你们也知道我很喜欢搞偷拍这种游戏，所以就建议ka mei我们一起去偷拍面包厂的制作过程。偷拍完后，我以为自己很聪明，认为只要把sd card从相机里拿出来，就算被发现也不会有证据了。谁知，我这个死笨蛋，最后还是把sd card放在相机上面在一起放进书包里。我把书包留在面包厂里便独自出去走走。

回来后，看到面包厂老板一副不屑的样子晃着我的相机。我开始着急了。

面包厂老板: "你偷拍我的工厂？ ”

我：“没有啊。”

面包厂老板：“（把sd card放进相机，开给我看刚才偷拍的画面) 那这是什么？”

我：“（死没用，孬种）他也有偷拍好不好！（嫁祸kamei)"

ka mei 拿出相机给面包厂老板看，什么照片都没有! 我心里大骂Kamei 不知多少遍。叛徒！

我：“（装镇定）所以现在我们要怎样解决？”

面包厂老板：“简单解决，ＲＭ３４００。”

我：“（惊讶）我哪里找那么多钱？”

面包厂老板：“不管你怎样，给我ＲＭ３４００。不然我报警。”

我们僵持了许久，ｋａ　ｍｅｉ又站在面包厂老板那边静静不出声。最后，施软招：

我：“欸，老板，别那样嘛~”

开玩笑的。

我：“老板你看。我是utar学生。utar学生那么多，如果你能做到他们的生意，你一定大赚。我答应你，我帮你招学生生意，你觉得怎样？”

面包厂老板：“（犹豫了一下，和妻子讨论一番）真的？”

我：“（陈恳的眼神）你可以信得过我。”

面包厂老板：“好，这次我放你走。”

我急促的心跳终于慢下来了。简直吓死我了。面包厂夫妇放我们走后，还给了我们一大袋面包带回去。=.="

2010-08-17T18:25:00.000+08:00

*寻找赞助人以资助贫苦子弟在各地游走费用，以便能够记录下经历和大家分享。善心人士请将善款传之paypal的funn20@yahoo.com. *

生命犹如银角，你无法预料它何时是头何时是花。而我们的命运就栽在一个银角手中。

站在两辆巴士之间，Hooi Hoon 和我赌上我们当天的行程。一辆是去Teluk Intan的（原定计划是要到Pasir Salak去的），而另一辆是临时发现的，也就是去Tronoh Mines, Kampung Timah 和Tanjung Tualang 这几个拥有特别名字的地方。

Hooi Hoon拿出了一个银角，而我则负责决定如果银角向头的话，我们就改变流浪地点，上第二辆巴士。银角跌到地上，发出了清脆的声音。我们吸了一口气，完全将身体匍匐在地上去查看我们的命运。命运给的启示，就是指示我们放弃原定计划，来一个即兴的冒险旅程~！

在这之前，我们就一直烦那位巴士司机uncle,问他Tronoh Mines 有什么有趣的地方因为一听到Mines这个字就联想到Mines Wonderland. 可怜的uncle 对于我们疯狂的追问也招架不住逃跑了。

不管怎样，我们还是上了那辆巴士。30分钟后，巴士司机uncle就丢下我们在一个Kampung Baru Tronoh Mines 的牌子那边。我们就身处在荒凉的橡胶园的郊外。跟住了箭头的方向，我们走进了宁静的村庄。我们向一位学校保安人员询问了一下，得知这里真的没有什么特别的地方出了一大堆屋子。还害白白我期待这里可以发现湖的踪迹，真是的。

虽然那里的人看得出我们不是当地人，但是他们还是很友善，甚至和我们微笑，除了两只想要把我们吃了的死鬼狗。我喜欢那里早晨的宁静和乡村气息。看到uncle 和aunty在茶餐室悠栽闲栽的样子，我顿时好想自愿去他们家帮忙喂鸡。

最后，我们还是打算离开这不属于我们的地方。回到了大路，我们就等着下一趟会kampar的巴士。一个aunty告诉我们kampung timah 和Tanjung Tualang业和Tronoh Mines 差不多，只是’规模‘会比较大。本来还想去Tanjung Tualang吃吃出名的淡水虾，但是后来我们也放弃了。

我们还是履行了Plan A.回到了Ｋａｍｐａｒ，　我们乘搭了下一辆去ｔｅｌｕｋ　Ｉｎｔａｎ的巴士，ＲＭ５．５０一趟。不知怎么的，我们俩都好累，在巴士上简直睡死过去了。大概一小时十五分后，我们抵达了那里的车站，并转换另一个车站去搭Ｋａｍｐｕｎｇ　Ｇａｊａｈ的巴士。

一个小时后，巴士终于在１１．３０ａｍ抵达。巴士司机告知我们没有巴士是直接到Ｐａｓｉｒ　Ｓａｌａｋ的，必须乘搭的士。我们的心整个下垂（心，不是胸部）。半个小时后，我们到达ｋａｍｐｕｎｇ　ｇａｊａｈ的简单巴士站。巴士司机介绍了一个ｔａｘｉ　ｕｎｃｌｅ。虽然距离很靠近，他收我们Ｒｍ１６　一趟。我们孬种，砍了一次价失败后，我们就直接以原定的价钱上车。

哦，还有刚才那个巴士司机吃药是不用喝水的。＝。＝“ 我为他五年后的肾脏感到期待。

几分钟后，我们终于到达了Pasir Salak Historical Complex. 很明显的，当下就只有我们二人。ＰａｓｉｒＳａｌａｋ是Ｊ．Ｗ．Ｗ．　Ｂｉｒｃｈ，霹雳州第一任ｒｅｓｉｄｅｎｔ被谋杀的地点。这个历史馆似乎没有很出名，而且也不容易找到。

两栋展览博物馆分别坐落在马路两旁。我们先去了历史时光隧道的展览馆。我们回到了ｐａｒａｍｅｓｗａｒａ的年代，一路到马来西亚的独立经历。时光隧道的下面是一个ｋｅｒｉｓ的展览馆。而另一栋展览馆是历任霹雳州务大臣的历史纪事和众多团体或任务赠送他们的纪念品。呆了两秒，超无聊的。直接离开。

我们心想，与其再叫ｔａｘｉ　ｕｎｃｌｅ来，我们不如试着自己走出那个村子，十分钟后，我们拦住了一个好心的马来家族。在我们还没开口之前，他们就直接叫我们上车！　原来他们是从ｋｌ送他刚出院的母亲回来的。还好有顺风车搭，要不然真的会走死我们！没想到那条路真的未免也太长了吧！我们真的庆幸及了。

我们回到了ｋａｍｐｕｎｇ　ｇａｊａｈ　的巴士站。Hooi Hoon 买了一包龙眼就在那里狂吃。在等巴士的同时，我们认识了一位从ｔｅｌｕｋ　ｂａｔｏｎｇ来的马来奶奶。他在等她的孙子女参加学校活动。当我们得知他已经８０岁了，我们还真的吓傻了因为真的看不出来。聊了一段时间后，我们才知道Ｍａｋ　Ｆａｔｉｍａｓｏｍ以前是一名老师。他在这个年纪还能自己驾车到处乱飞　（乱乱讲的）。　看得出奶奶是一个温文优雅的女性，而且很慈祥。可是看到他那两个孙子女的那种鬼态度，我就想直接巴他们俩巴。

奶奶离开后，一个ｕｎｃｌｅ上前来告诉我们，巴士要等到７．００ｐｍ才回到！我们已经等了一个小时多到了４．００ｐｍ，　也就是说我们还得等多３个小时！疯了。我起初还不相信他的话，因为他看起来就像是和ｔａｘｉ　ｄｒｉｖｅｒ串通好要骗我们钱的老千。可是后来大家都说一样的话。我也在想，的士司机应该也没有那么多钱来贿赂他们吧？　其中一个ｕｎｃｌｅ帮我们叫住了一辆的士。

一般上，从Ｔｅｌｕｋ　Ｉｎｔａｎ到　Kampung Gajah 的的士车费几乎是ＲＭ３０可是这位的士司机刚好载完客要回Ｔｅｌｕｋ Intan，他就收我们RM15。他的名字是Wan ，是一位业余的士司机。他的正职是救伤车司机。我们聊了很多，他也和我们分享了他的工作。他也告诉我们他曾经去过Utar 的捐血活动哦。

到了teluk intan, 趁着还有时间，我们来到了当地的夜市。我能说这是最好逛的夜市之一。或许是因为有很多马来档口让我觉得很有家的感觉。尤其穿梭在友善的马来uncle 和aunty之间，而不是那些‘你碰我你就知死’的那种所谓‘文明’的华人。

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2010-08-12T19:14:00.001+08:00

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We cycled on the road to Teluk Intan. But our destination was Mambang Diawan (or Mambang Di Awan), translated into English as 'spirits in the clouds'.

The sky was drizzling but that didn't stop the team from fulfilling the mission. As usual, we set off 6.30am (lucky time) in our rain coats. We stopped by the wet market to take a picture. A Malay aunty who was about to leave the market saw me. I smiled at and asked (just for fun) her how to go to Mambang Di Awan.

Malay Auntie: "You go New Town and then..."
I don't know how much she hated me but she didn't have to tell such an obvious lie with her innocent smile.

We cycled to Old Town and reached the trunk road. Boy, cars and vans, trucks and lorries were stomping through Kampar. We were so tiny when compared to these giant vehicles and it was quite dangerous as well since the sky was still gloomy.

The cycling only took us less than an hour to reach the destination. It is a Chinese town, like Kampar. In fact it is the new village of Kampar. We arrived at the wet market first and saw several stray puppies lingering around the rubbish dump. I wanted to name one of the puppies as Naan-neh of the puppy version because it came up to me. When I got down from my bicycle to take a picture of it, it ran and hid under a car and started barking at me. And I just gave a tight slap on its face for being ungrateful, in my imagination.

We cycled once around the area, then parked our bicycles and travel on foot. Uncles and aunties stared at us as if we were outer space creatures. Some says everyone knows everyone there that they could straight away identify alien faces like ours, especially when we were still wearing raincoat and a cap on the head.

We stopped by a stall and was approached by a hawker aunty I. She thought we were here to carrying out research projects on the town and asked us to come in the evening of that day because there would be a night market in front of the roundabout. Asked on any interesting site to visit, she couldn't suggest one except referred us to a mini temple built beneath an ancient tree.

It was just an ordinary place of worship for the Chinese but the tree was huge. Among the tree roots, Ms Ivy found a little kitten resembled my runaway pet cat, Naan-neh. I went forth to snap a picture of it but it went deeper in. At the end I only managed to shoot one clear shot.

I talked to an old aunty who was cycling to find out where was the famous bun stall. She showed me the stall and told me that Char Siew Pau which costs RM1.20 from there is the best. But when I got there, the boss charged me RM 1.30. So it's either her memory was not that good or she hadn't been eating Char Siew Pau for quite some time, or probably she was just another person, like the Malay aunty, who hated me.

The hawker next door talked to Ms Ivy while I was buying bun in the stall.We heard of a lake at Mambang Di Awan so I just asked her about it.

Hawker aunty II: "You need to go further down to see. Many people go there for fishing but it's very dangerous. You all better don't go."

An uncle who passed by said: "There are so many lakes at Kampar, why do you have to come here to purposely look for a lake?"

Eel Wind: "Uncle, we have been in Kampar facing the same lake for the last two years, we want to see something new."

Hawker aunty II: "(Turned to the uncle) You heard them? They want to explore something new, like I have been facing for so many years, I also wish that you will disappear from my sight!"

That uncle then rode on a motorcycle and went off.

Hawker Aunty II told us the lake was situated at a place called Batu Putih. Before we continue, we went to a hawker centre to have breakfast. I ordered a cup of coffee-C while the girls ordered noodles. Char Siew Pau and coffee blended so well together! I really enjoyed the food, and the atmosphere. You know, it is so interesting that older people gathered at the hawker centre to drink Chinese tea, together with kids below the age of 10. Their grandchildren, I guess.

And I could hardly find any youngsters 30 years old and below there to enjoy breakfast under the shimmering morning sun. While I was enjoying the moment, the light sudden went off. It was not an electric cut. It was because the time was already 9.00am. I finished my breakfast, extremely satisfied. The urge of going to the toilet sudden struck my tummy so I went to the toilet for my debut release at Mambang Di Awan. It took me quite some time to get into position before releasing it all out as I had to half-squat above the sitter that looked pretty much sinful to me.

We paddled to the village houses as what Hawker Aunty II advised us. We were geared to find out the lake. But the mysterious lake never existed. So far almost every uncle and aunty we approached did not know of its existence. Finally, from the last granny we met, we learned that there was a fish pond at the Indian residential area right across the road. Anyway, we discovered a colour Disney-like cottage that resembled the house of the seven dwarfs and also a house with a signboard that shows Dunhuang, an ancient mysterious with heavy Buddhism influence city that situated at the starting point of the silk road of China. I wonder what history was carried by the family.
So we departed the Chinese town and headed to the Indian community. It was a ten-minute ride on the way back to Kampar but it's still considered in Mambang Di Awan. There we found an Hindu temple but it was closed. We talked to two Indian ladies but they said the fish pond was closed at that hour. My disappointment was further aggravated when I found out that pictures from my camera's memory card were gone ~ whish~just like that! After taking it out and put it back again, it worked but rest of the pictures could not be found.

We reached a small junction and turned left into a narrow road that seemed to lead to nowhere but my sub-conscience told me that this path would eventually lead us back to our house. When we saw the train station, we knew where we were at already. After passing a small bridge, we saw a big tractor coming towards us. We stepped aside and observed what was the driver trying to do. The tractor could not possible cross to small bridge.

In fact that was not even a bridge but just a little extension between two pieces of land. Later we realised that that uncle was mending the gap by adding layers of soil to thicken the path. We did nothing but stood still to watch him work while he looked at us weirdly.

We continued cycling and passed a village called Batu Putih. It sounded familar to us. Batu Putih! This was the place where the Hawker Aunty II was referring to! It was just few hundred meters away from our house. =.=" And the lake she meant was the lake near the Rakan Muda Recreation Centre. We took some pictures by the lake and continued our journey. When we saw the overhead bridge across the railway track, we knew we were reaching home soon.

That's the end of our mini journey. There's not much place of interest to explore but tonnes of great stories I could share~!

P/S: The camera shop boss told me that my SD card is corrupted with virus so I might need to reformat the card and also laptop before I can use in peace. But I have downloaded a photo recovery software online to retrieve some of the pictures. Quality might not be so good but at least it is better than nothing.

*Looking for sponsors to support my travelings. Donations can be made through Paypal at funn20@yahoo.com. Your donation would be much appreciated. *

2010-08-12T17:04:00.000+08:00

*寻找赞助人以资助贫苦子弟在各地游走费用，以便能够记录下经历和大家分享。善心人士请将善款传之paypal的funn20@yahoo.com. *

在一个下着毛毛雨的早晨，Seng Ching， Ivy和我三人骑着脚车乘风破浪，迈向Teluk Intan...路上其中的一个小镇叫作 Mambang Di Awan 又或称为 “云端上的仙女（灵体？）”

穿着闷热的雨衣，我们停在Kampar巴刹路口拍了张照片。那时刚好是吉祥时间，6.30am。一位马来婆婆看见了我们，我便对她笑，顺道问道mambang diawan的路要怎么去（其实只是问爽的）。

马来婆婆：“你去Ｎｅｗ　Ｔｏｗｎ，然后。。。”

我不知他是故意要耍我们还是要我们死。如果Mambang Di Awan在　Ｎｅｗ　Ｔｏｗｎ的话，我们一辈子都不用到达终点了。差一点还被他楚楚动人的迷眸给骗去了。

到了ｏｌｄ　ｔｏｗｎ大路，才发现早上的重型罗厘和卡车特别多！相比之下我们变得好渺小，而且天色灰暗，还蛮危险的。

不到一个小时我们就到了。其实ｍａｍｂａｎｇ　ｄｉａｗａｎ就是ｋａｍｐａｒ的新村，到处是华人。我们抵达当地的市场就停了下来。那时在垃圾堆中出现好多好多只小野狗。而有一只还特地跑到我的身边。在对奈安呐，我去年失踪的猫猫的思恋下，我就册封它为狗族中的奈安呐。谁知我正想下去拍照时，它就躲到车底下，还不停地吠我！要不是当时有许多来往的车辆看着我，我就一脚把它踹到ｋａｍｐａｒ去！凭什么跟我拽！　（夸张式词汇。动物协会同仁们，我也是爱狗的，好吗？别抓我～）。

停下了脚踏车，我们就以步行开始环绕怎么市镇。ｕｎｃｌｅ　和ａｕｎｔｙ　看到我们好像看到外星人那样，边瞪我们边喝茶。也难怪，因为我们还穿着雨衣到处蹦蹦跳跳。有人说，ｍａｍｂａｎｇ　ｄｉａｗａｎ　地方小，大家都互相认识。只要有外人，他们一眼都看得出。更何况我和ｓｅｎｇ　ｃｈｉｎｇ俩人都是年轻人，不在他们的年龄层内。

来到了一个ａｕｎｔｙ的摊子，他以为我们是来做考察的。她叫我们应该傍晚才去因为有夜市场。我们又问他这里又什么地方是特别的，他想了很久，就指着那颗大树下的拿督公庙。

其实那只不过是一个普通华人拜神的地方。在那棵大树中，我们发现了一只小猫咪。Ｉｖｙ说长得和奈安呐很像。的确是有几分相似。当我正要上前拍照，它就躲到树根堆里。还好我够专业，至少拍到了唯一一张。

不久我问了一位华人老太太在哪里可以找到好吃的包。他指着前方，说ｒｍ１．２０的叉烧包最好吃。但是一到那里，老板收我ｒｍ１．３０．不知是不是老太太太久没买叉烧包，还是记忆力欠佳，又或者又是一个像那位马来婆婆一样恨我的人。

隔壁摊阿姨乘机和ｉｖｙ交谈。我们听说这儿有一个湖，便向他询问。

隔壁摊阿姨：“你要再下去。很多人去那里钓鱼的，可是很危险。你们最好还是不要去。”

一位经过的uncle 插进我们的对话：“ｋａｍｐａｒ有这样多湖，你们做么还要来这里Ｊｅｋ？＂　

我：“ｕｎｃｌｅ，　我们在ｋａｍｐａｒ两年看到一样的湖已经‘闲’了，所以要找一些新鲜的咯。”

隔壁摊阿姨:　“（对ｕｎｃｌｅ）听到没有死人头？人家要去看新的东西，不想看旧的，好像我看你看到这么多年这样，几希望你会不见掉！＂　

那个ｕｎｃｌｅ骑着摩哆飞走了。

隔壁摊阿姨说那个湖是靠近一个叫ｂａｔｕ　ｐｕｔｉｈ的地方。在还未继续前进前，我们去了一个小贩中心吃早餐。我叫了一杯ｃｏｆｆｅｅ　Ｃ　而两位小姐各自叫了面和面粉糕。我买的叉烧包和咖啡真是天生一对！味道上超配的。在那里，我发现只有老人家和１０岁以下的小孩子在那里喝茶。我说的是茶，一壶一壶的哦。很搞笑一下。我们ｊｏｈｏｒ人就喝咖啡。在哪里，也很难发现３０岁以下的人类。

吃完后，肚子突然有感觉。爽。直接到厕所去。我在ｍａｍｂａｎｇ　ｄｉ　ａｗａｎ的第一ｔｕｋ，就在那里美食中心解放的，欢迎大家去参观。　看到那个厕所盖，我还真的不敢恭维。摆了好几个ｐｏｓｅ才顺利地划下句点。

跟着隔壁摊阿姨的指示，我们继续旅程，势必要找到那个湖。可是那个神秘的湖似乎（ｂｏ　ｌａｎｇ　ｚａｉ）无人知。我们问了好几家，都没有人知道。最后，我们问道了一个ａｕｎｔｙ，他告知我们在印度村里有一个鱼塘，可以去看一看。在离开之前，我们发现了一个好像小矮人住的屋子。五彩缤纷。适合我的高度。同时也发现了一间屋子挂着”敦煌“的牌匾。好神秘的国度呀！　可惜没人可以问他的意思。

离开华人新村，我们来到了印度村，　还是属于ｍａｍｂａｎｇ　ｄｉａｗａｎ的地盘。在哪里我们发现了一座印度庙，可是已经关了。之前我们问了两位印度妹妹关于鱼塘的事情，他们说应该没有开，而且还是在很里面很里面的。更雪上加霜的是，我的相机既然在这时刻ｋａｐｕｔ了！我把ｍｅｍｏｒｙ　ｃａｒｄ拿出来再放回去，又可以用了。可是之前的所有照片都不见了。

回家途中，我的直觉告诉我那条羊肠小径是可以回家的路，因为是顺着火车轨道走的。过了一个小桥，我们发现一个卡车（华语不好，不知那个东东叫什么）迈向我们。我们停了下来，观赏司机的表演。其实那不是一道桥，只是一个连接两边接洽的地方。我们就静静地看着他运泥下去把它铺得更阔，而他也以怪怪的眼神望着我们。

骑呀，骑呀，我们来到一个叫ｂａｔｕ　ｐｕｔｉｈ的小花园。听起来很熟悉。　ｂａｔｕ　ｐｕｔｉｈ！就是刚才那个隔壁摊阿姨所指的地方！原来就在我们家后面而已。　＝．＝＂而他所谓的湖，也不过是在ｒａｋａｎ　ｍｕｄａ　ｒｅｃｒｅａｔｉｏｎ　ｃｅｎｔｒｅ旁的一个湖而已。

看到了跨越火车轨道上的桥，我们终于回到家了。虽然没有很多东西看，但是故事却是精彩万分。迷你旅程记录就此搁笔。

注：相机老板娘说我的ｓｄ　卡中了病毒，一定要ｒｅｆｏｒｍａｔ（连手提电脑一起）过才能用。当天我就下载了一个能够把失去的照片找回的软件。一部分的照片是找回了，可是素质就不太好。至少还好过没有，对不　（你一定心想：“关我屁事？”）？

*寻找赞助人以资助贫苦子弟在各地游走费用，以便能够记录下经历和大家分享。善心人士请将善款传之paypal的funn20@yahoo.com. *

2010-08-07T00:05:00.000+08:00

*Looking for sponsors to support my travelings. Donations can be made through Paypal at funn20@yahoo.com. Your donation would be much appreciated. *

Finally. I kept my promise to visit at least one place in Perak finally before I die of lightning strike. I have chosen Kuala Kangsar to be the first-stop of this semester.

I invited Hooi Hoon to join me for the trip but Carmen could not bear to see us together and insisted to join the fellowship. I always knew Hooi Hoon is tough enough to endure pain, sun and sweat that's why I invited her to join my expedition to Kuala Kangsar. Carmen? I'll explain later. I was on still enjoying myself when they reached my house around 6.30am. We took a cab to the Old Town, had our breakfast to warm our tummy on the cooling morning before setting off to Ipoh.

Two heroines of the day - Hooi Hoon and Carmen

An hour later, we reached the Ipoh bus station. I approached an aunty to see whether she knows what bus goes Kuala Kangsar. She shocked her head at first but was kind enough to ask the counter (not that we didn't want to do it ourselves. She's just too proactive). We then had a short chat with her. She lives in Ipoh, but was on her way back to her hometown at Tanjung Tualang to meet up her old friends. Few minutes later, a bus to Kuala Kangsar arrived and we quickly ran up the bus and realised our conversation with her was not done yet...Sorry aunty, but we were eager to go Kuala Kangsar.

As most of you know, two-way bus fare from Kampar to Ipoh cost RM7.50. Guess what. One-way bus fare from Ipoh to Kuala Kangsar already costs RM 6.20. I didn't say this is day robbery but if your sub-conscience tells you so, I can't stop it. Anyway, on the way, the bus went into a small village called Kampung Enggor. There we found a very old Chinese school. It's almost like those appeared in war film during the Japanese occupation.

An hour later, we touched the ground of the Royal Town. Cutting the story of Carmen's narcissistic nature in taking her own pictures short we traveled on foot to the first destination - Galeri Sultan Azlan Syah. The building was fine, not extravagant but a cozy one. I was amazed by Sultan's academic achievement in the faculty of Law. I don't normally respect Sultan the way I respect Oprah but Sultan of Perak really deserves respect of his citizens because His royal umbrella is really fashionable.

Galeri Sultan Azlan Syah

Anyway, we were not the only guests. There were buses and buses of visitors flocking into the gallery. When we stepped out of the building, Hooi Hoon showed me the signboard that stated "Admission fee - adult RM 4". I guess they might have mistaken us for being part of the tour group and let us in. What a blessing.

The journey continued. We reached in front of the Masjid Ubudiah but didn't enter. There was a dilapidated house situated right behind the mosque. We took the opportunity to snap pictures to reenact stories of olden couple. It turned out that the pictures are better represented with supernatural element because of the mystical atmosphere.

Masjid Ubudiah

The old house behind the mosque

We then reached a diverged road in front of the Palace in which the Sultan resides in. Left, or right. We were quick to choose the left path since the right road was put on a 'no entry' sign. Who on earth knew the road on the left could almost be described as 'endless'. Carmen said this only shows how big the Palace is. We reached a small little village behind the Palace called Padang Changkat.

The road not taken

We met a Malay lady and asked her for direction to the Royal Museum of Perak. She told us that Padang Changkat is known for wedding embroidery. I wanted to visit the village but the two didn't seem interested so I gave in. We finally reached the museum and saw a bus that overtook us when we were walking left after few minutes. The Museum was under maintenance and was closed. My heart sunk into the deeper and smelliest drain of Kuala Kangsar.Museum closed for maintenance. But according to Wendy, it had been closed for a long time.

There, we met a Malay uncle. Hooi Hoon talked to him and there ticked the time bomb. I stood beside him but was not interested to join in the conversation because they were talking about development of Penang. A family from Holland arrived but when I told them that the museum was closed, they were rather disappointed. The family had been here for around 3 weeks and they have been traveling around West Malaysia. Soon, they left the place while Hooi Hoon was still stuck in the conversation.

I was being exceptionally kind to save Hooi Hoon from the endless speech given by the ex-navy who embodied the greatest knowledge in every field. Hooi Hoon and Carmen, they threw the bomb at me and hid far across the road while I had to face him with a plastic smile. Actually I just intended to utilise him to drive us out to the town area as it could save our energy for the next destination. Fifteen minutes later I realised this won't work and I am tired of faking my smile. I excused myself and left with the girls immediately from the radio direct broadcast.

By the way, he was there with his daughter who was a fashion designer. I could tell from her daughter's face that she was pretty annoyed by his father's 24/7 excessive talking. But I have to admit that he was a knowledgeable man...who talked a lot.

On our way back, we were praying hard that cars passed by would stop to give us a ride. For the first 15 minutes of walking, I was placing high hopes that kind drivers would stop for us. 15 minutes later you can just imagined us spewing all kinds of language at cars that did not take notice of us - we were so closed from lifting the middle finger up if wasn't for the umbrellas we held in our hands.

Finally, after a short pause at a drink stall in front of the mosque, we reached the heartland of Kuala Kangsar. I noticed that not many Chinese there. When I saw four children girls came towards us, I encouraged Carmen to asked for the best place to taste local food. She went forth and greeted the girls in loud voice by lifting her hands up in the sky like a drunkard. Hooi Hoon and I had to pull her back before she striped of her clothes to pole-dance. The girls, I called them young and ignorant for suggesting us to go KFC and PizzaHut. =.=" Yes, that was the expression on my face when I heard that. Later they pointed the direction where we can try out local laksa.

We went there ordered laksa, and understood why they suggested KFC and PizzaHut. I don't want to further comment on the food because I don't want my internationally-recognised blog to cause great loss to their businesses.

We had the opportunity to talk to the one and only Chinese hawker there. His assistance, a Chinese auntie told us that Kuala Kangsar is a dead town despite the name of Royal Town given to the place. "Kampar would almost be as dead if it is not for UTAR."

There were only less than 25% Chinese in Kuala Kangsar and often they faced problems when some Malays tend to create problem at their stalls. The discrimination of Chinese was quite common. He said, there was once when a Malay found out that the food was prepared by this Chinese hawker, the Malay purposely pour the food in front of him, threw the money onto his table and left for another stall.

He also does not believe in government policies, even the 1Malaysia concept. "Unless and until the government proves to us that they would treat us fair and square, it is hard for us to take all in and simply believe in it," he said.

After bidding goodbye, we carried on our journey to visit Kampung Sayong. The Chinese hawker told us to take the main bridge to enter the village. But after spoken to another three uncles chatting by the waterfront, we were told that we could take a boat ride to cross over. The boat ride costs RM0.40 each trip.

The mainland jetty

When we reached the jetty on the other side, three kids were playing there. As we entered the village, they followed us. They are Imran and Ikmal, the two brothers who came back from KL to visit their sick grandfather, and their female cousin, Hanimie who lives here.

Imran, Ikmal and the adorable Hanimie

We passed by a barber shop owned by Hanimie's father. I realised we were being very rude for taking pictures without asking for permission. I didn't know why we didn't ask but that was something that burdened my heart because I have shown disrespect to the locals. I could tell from his face that he was unhappy.

The kids brought us to the labu sayong workshop. Labu sayong is a gourd-shaped jug used to keep water cool. Unfortunately, no one was at the workshop because it was during the Solat Asar, according to Imran. Since there were no one, we dared ourselves to check out the workshop since it was an public area by a house.

The sky turned dark. We had to return to the jetty before it rains. The kids followed us all the way back to the jetty. The boatman came up from his boat as he could not maneuver the boat due to strong river current. After advising the kids to go back before the downpour, we took the opportunity to speak to him.

Hooi Hoon started off by asking him the history of Kuala Kangsar. Kuala Kangsar was named so because it was the 99th tributary that flow into the Perak river, that's why it was originally called "Kuala Kurang Sa-Saratus" but then the Chinese of the olden days when they pronounced it fast, it became Kuala Kangsar. I actually read about it prior to visiting this place but the feeling of hearing the explanation directly from a local was much more meaningful.

The knowledgeable, witty, funny, friendly Mr Boatman

The conversation then diverted to a new direction when he asked whether have we registered for voting during election. He then expressed disappointment with the current political situation and his enthusiasm towards PAS. I can't really speak more of the details but when he said "Malay is not for Islam; Islam is not for Malay," I was very glad people like him do not fall into supporting racial politics. In fact he is a knowledgeable man too...except the fact that he was willing to share his story and experience instead of behaving like the uncle who lectured us how to be a useful person even though me myself knows how to use my body well already.

I wanted to seek his opinion on a racial matter by related it to the previous case of the chinese hawker. He did not deny the fact that such problem does happen but this does not apply to all Malay. He said these Malays act in such way because they are very influenced by the racial politics played up by certain group of people which had caused greater disparity among the different ethnic groups.

He further shared with us that support for racial politics in Kuala Kangsar mostly comes from the women because they are not exposed to the opposition media. The only media they are exposed to is television, and you know what kind of news you would expect to see from the local channels. He emphasised on the importance of the media in educating people and inspiring people to know the truth and also advised us to be open to alternative media.

He shared with us a lot inputs that I would never expect to hear this from a boatman in a tiny little village. Later only did we found out that he had worked in Shah Alam before returning to this village to take over this responsibility six or seven years ago.

And Carmen was busy sketching her room design at the other corner during the thunderstorm.

When the rain stopped, he ferried us back to the mainland and gave a us wink to remind us to vote for XXX. We gently waved at him and left the jetty...for cempedak. Then we went to the souvenir stores and each of us bought two labu sayongs. It was around 5.00pm and there was still time for us to spare. We found a cafe and had a wonderful afternoon tea session there while enjoying the view of the busy little town.

Different designs of labu sayong

And that's the end of our fruitful experience at Kuala Kangsar. Cheers. Oh by the way, I was really impressed with Carmen's perseverance though she might appear to be a little girl who needs protection. In fact she doesn't need any protection from guys at all since she's as strong as a Superman. So guys, no need to woo her.

*Looking for sponsors to support my travelings. Donations can be made through Paypal at funn20@yahoo.com. Your donation would be much appreciated. *

2010-08-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

*寻找赞助人以资助贫苦子弟在各地游走费用，以便能够记录下经历和大家分享。善心人士请将善款传之paypal的funn20@yahoo.com. *

终于为我之前所发下的毒誓行动了。至少要死也不是死于雷劈。江沙正是我的路程起点！

我邀请了Hooi Hoon 和我一起去流浪然而Carmen死都不愿意让我们两人独行而硬硬插一脚进来。我一直以来都知道 Hooi Hoon是一位独立坚强的女性。 Carmen? 到最后我才说吧。他们大概6.30am就到我家门口，那时我还在睡觉。paiseh.我们包了的士到old town，吃了早餐暖暖肚子便出发到怡保去。

Two heroines of the day - Hooi Hoon and Carmen

一个小时后，我们抵达怡保车站。我去询问了一位aunty看看他是否知道kuala kangsar的巴士的详情。他摇摇头便友善的帮我们到counter询问。过后我们和他交谈了一会，得知他要回 Tanjung Tualang和老朋友相聚。一分钟后，一辆kuala kangsar巴士抵达车站。我们毫不犹豫的冲上巴士，似乎忘记了aunty的存在。

你们应该都知道，怡保-金宝来回车票是RM 7.50. 可是单单一趟从怡保去江沙都要RM6.20 了！

在途中，巴士转进了一个小村庄，叫做Kampung Enggor. 在那儿我们发现了一间具有日据时代的学校叫做“时化学校”。有没有很强？

一个小时候，我们终于抵达了目的地。撇开大伙自恋照相的状态不谈，我们步行来到了Galeri Sultan Azlan Syah。建筑物看起来还好，装潢没有很夸张可是至少是很舒适的。从他的展览厅得知他的故事，我觉得一位苏丹能够拥有这样高的学历真是不简单。

当然，我们并非唯一的参观者。当时还有一堆堆的人潮迈向那座建筑物。出来时，Hooi Hoon告诉我原来进去时需要给入门票的！我们竟然浑水摸鱼的掺杂人群中就进去了。省了ＲＭ４　，真是大赚。

继续我们的旅途。我们来到了Masjid Ubudiah外围可是没有进去。回教堂后面有一天破旧的古老房子。看到这种房子就很想拍照。想拍一些古老夫妻合照。最后却像一系列的鬼影集。欸，至少拍出来的效果真棒。Hooi Hoon 更是新一代鬼后。

Masjid Ubudiah

The old house behind the mosque

走着走着，我们来到了一个分叉路，王宫的交接点。到底要向左走，还是向右走呢？　由于右边那条路显示车辆不能通过，所以我们也乖乖跟着交通指示，选择左边的那条路。好死不死，这条路根本就是永无止境的延伸，似乎没有尽头！Ｃａｒｍｅｎ还说这足以证明王宫是有多么的大。兜了好久，我们来到了一个小村子叫 Padang Changkat.

害死人的分叉路

我们刚好遇到一位正要去喝喜酒的ｍａｋ　ｃｉｋ便问他Ｒｏｙａｌ　Ｍｕｓｅｕｍ　ｏｆ　Ｐｅｒａｋ　在那儿。他说Padang Changkat是专门做婚礼包刺绣的地方，而那博物院就只是在前方。我其实是对那个村子很感兴趣，可是他们似乎不怎么想要了解这门艺术，尤其是Carmen更是一直迫不及待地想要到做陶瓷的地方参观。几分钟后，我们到达了目的地。它竟然跟我没开，说是要进行一些维修工作！

The Royal Museum of Perak closed for maintenance

我们很‘庆幸’的遇到了一名马来ｕｎｃｌｅ．Ｈｏｏｉ　Ｈｏｏｎ　就向前和他攀谈，而我则在另外一方和一家荷兰来的家庭聊天。大家都很失望，可是却没有办法。后来他们也走了。Ｈｏｏｉ　Ｈｏｏｎ　还在聊。我就想插一脚进他们的对话。谁知，无形中，Ｈｏｏｉ　Ｈｏｏｎ慢慢退离战场，我就感觉不对劲了。那个ｕｎｃｌｅ，真的有如太阳能说话机。我头头也只是希望他能够载我们一程出到街上，哪里知道他跟我在那里大开演讲，我的脸都假笑到局部抽筋了，他还是不放我走！最后，我真的放弃了。砍断了他的个人言论，我们告辞，急速逃离这不可能战胜的沙场。

在路上，我们一心祈祷，希望会有好心人能够停下车子来顺便载我们。前十五分钟，我相信人性本善，人类也会互相帮助。十五分钟后，我证实感受到人类自私之心。心里和嘴里浮现了各种国际语言。要不是手中举着雨伞，我们中指早都直接奔向太空了。

在回教堂歇息了一会儿，我们继续走回到市中心。我发现华人的足迹真的很少。当我一看到四位小女生在我们面前经过，我就鼓励ｃａｒｍｅｎ向前去问他们哪里能够吃到好吃的食物。ｃａｒｍｅｎ本来装作若无其事地走向前，然后就发酒疯似狂摇手和他们打招呼：“嗨~！！前面的小妹妹们，我们想要问你们一些问题可以吗？” 吓死我跟Hooi Hoon. 我们想问的是那里可以吃到当地最好的食物。谁知，他们给的答案竟然是：KFC和PizzaHut. =.= 我们在紧着追问，他们才说前面有卖laksa的，可以去试试看。

果然，吃到那里的laksa才清楚为什么他们会选择KFC和PizzaHut了。由于这个是享誉全球的国际性的部落格，我也不方便多透露太多内容而导致他们生意变得‘不兴隆’。

当时我们有机会和那里唯一一摊华人老板聊天。他的助理，一位华人aunty很激动，告诉我们说，要不是金宝拉曼大学，它也是会像江沙一样，是一座死城。

江沙华人人口大概25%。他们不时面对种族歧视。有的甚至会打闹他们的摊位。曾经还发生过有马来客户因为发现老板是华人，就故意把他的面倒掉，把钱丢在桌子上便去下一档点过一样的食物。

同时，他也不相信政府的一个大马概念，认为：“只要政府一天不能够证明它能够公平地对待不同种族，我们是不会相信的。”

和他们道别后，我们就迈向ｋａｍｐｕｎｇ　ｓａｙｏｎｇ．刚才那位ｕｎｃｌｅ说要过对岸只好是可是绕大路，然后过桥去。可是和另外三位在河岸聊天的ｕｎｃｌｅ们询问后，他们说坐船也是可以过去的。一趟是ＲＭ０。４０。

当我们达到对岸时，就有三位小朋友在玩耍。他们也跟着我们一起走。他们分别是Ｉｍｒａｎ，　Ｉｋｍａｌ　（从ＫＬ回来探病的两兄弟）和他们的堂／表妹，Ｈａｎｉｍｉｅ。　

The mainland jetty

Imran, Ikmal and the adorable Hanimie

我们经过Ｈａｎｉｍｉｅ父亲开的理发店。现在回想起来，我们当时并没有问过他就一直对着他像稀有动物一样的拍照。真的有点过分。我也感受到他对我们的举动不满　。

孩子们带我们到了ｌａｂｕ　ｓａｙｏｎｇ的工作坊。ｌａｂｕ　ｓａｙｏｎｇ　是个葫芦形状的装水器。可惜的是，老板去回教堂祈祷了，没人在。既然没人，而工作坊又是公开式的，我们就进去一探究竟。

天气慢慢变暗，我们就回到了码头。孩子们也跟随我们。船夫上来了，告诉我们现在不能开船，因为河水急流关系。因为要下雨了，我们就劝告那几位小朋友先回家，过后便开始和船夫uncle对话起来。

Hooi Hoon 就以寻味江沙历史为开端。船夫ｕｎｃｌｅ说，　Kuala Kangsar这名字的由来是因为有 99　条支流流入霹雳河，　所以就是　１００　条里少一条，就叫　‘Kuala Kurang Sa-Saratus’。当时的华人发音不准，而又连着来念，就变成了 Kuala Kangsar。　其实我很早就知道了这个由来，可是从当地人口中亲口转述，那种感觉变得更有意义了。

The knowledgeable, witty, funny, friendly Mr Boatman

这对话突然改变方向。他突然间问我们是否已经登记投选。他对现在政治局面感到失望，并对ＰＡＳ寄以厚望。我不方便透露太多，可是他的一句　“Ｍａｌａｙ　ｉｓ　ｎｏｔ　ｆｏｒ　Ｉｓｌａｍ；　Ｉｓｌａｍ　ｉｓ　ｎｏｔ　ｆｏｒ　Ｍａｌａｙ＂让我觉得现在还是有很多很开明的乡村马来人。　他果然是个知识渊博的人，听他的分享，我也获益不浅，毕竟要和ＰＡＳ的支持者攀谈并非易事。

他也向我们分析，江沙对种族政治的支持都来自于当地女性因为他们唯一接触的媒体就是电视节目。而受教育的族群就反而会寻求外来咨询，如反对党的刊登物和非主流新闻。我真没有想到竟然能在这一天听到一位船夫uncle口中说的这一切，真是令我大开眼界。原来船夫在六，七年前在ｓｈａｈ　ａｌａｍ　工作过，所以视野也更广阔了。

我很想测探他在种族的想法，就引用了之前华人摊ｕｎｃｌｅ的亲身受侮辱的经历，他很大方地承认这种马来人也是存在的，但并非所有的马来人都是这样。他们之所以会这样，都是某某政治体系大耍种族政治伎俩，造成种族之前的分歧。

而Carmen 则活在自己的世界里，忙着设计他理想中的房间。

雨停了，船夫ｕｎｃｌｅ终于说可以开船了。它和我们眨了眨眼，示意我们一定要在来临大选去投票，并投给ＸＸＸ。我们轻轻挥手，向他告别，便直奔ｃｅｍｐｅｄａｋ的当口。过后便来到卖手信的地方，买了两个ｌａｂｕ　ｓａｙｏｎｇ．到了 5.00pm，既然还有一些时间，我们就放慢脚步，到一间茶餐室享用下午茶，分享当天的经验与收获。在一片忙碌的交通旁，我们享受到下午小镇上的自在。

这就是我们江沙流浪全纪录。Ｈｏｏｉ　Ｈｏｏｎ真是一位很有能耐的记者。我和别人的对话最多只能撑个３０分钟，他竟然能轻松地一个小时和他们不间断地聊。真的是值得我们学习。而ｃａｒｍｅｎ呢。。。我很佩服他的意志力。虽然看起来还是个需要受保护的小女生，可是他事实上就是个女版的超级赛亚人。可以不用靠男人。所以他也决定不要结婚，所以男生们，请不要追她。

*寻找赞助人以资助平苦子弟在各地游走费用，以便能够记录下经历和大家分享。善心人士请将善款传之paypal的funn20@yahoo.com. *

2010-07-21T01:41:00.001+08:00

Alright guys, listen (This is so Randy Jackson).

You know I am on a coffee diet, right. Not that I want to boast what I want to boast, but I actually reduced coffee consumption from three times to once a week. I am officially not a coffee addict anymore and you can clap like a clapper (not the movie clapper but some sort of a hyper-energised doll clapper).

But now I am a Soy-milk addict and a water addict too.

Coffee drains Calcium off my body I could die of osteoporosis. Now I could just die of excess protein consumption. In any circumstance, any diet, the outcome would be - me dying for eating human food. I could just die.

I miss my &*&@*% (name of the food from my planet).

I remember the lovely taste of Vietnamese coffee I used to drink but now when the liquid mingles with my tongue, I don't feel the sensation anymore. I thought I have already successfully given up my desire for coffee until today when I discover the packet that says "less 25% sugar".

Oh gosh. I am not loving coffee for what it is. I loved coffee because of the sweetness in the coffee! I feel like I have committed adultery now. It is Ms Sugar that I love.

This is just so wrong. Ms. Sugar is sexy but I wouldn't have fallen in love with her if she didn't disguise herself among the coffee bits. She tricked me and caused me to be unfaithful to the love of my tongue.

Just as I thought of breaking up with Ms Sugar, she tempted me again. Few days ago I bought a packet of Soy that says "No sugar added". Who would expect the Soy drink manufacturer to be so brutally honest. I mean you cannot be so truthful to consumers because we consumers are already so used to dirty tricks played by you people, and suddenly you give me what is real? I just can't take it!

Seriously the drink smells like liquefied Soy bean swimming in the tub, and that's it.

See, that's how sugar seduces and transmits AIDS (An Irreplaceable Diabetes Seduction) to us unknowingly. I could just die. I COULD JUST DIE.

2010-07-11T09:51:00.000+08:00

在霸级市场里，cc 从架上拿了一个产品。

CC：“咦咿，哪里出产的噢？”
我："泰国”
CC：“噢。。。不错啦。（想了想，还是放了架上去）”
CC：“哇欸，这个又是那里出产的？”
我：“中国。”
CC：“（直接放回去）”
CC：“呃？这个来自哪个国家咧？”
我：“马来西亚。”
CC：“哇，很好。（准备放进篮子里）”
我：“Tesco Choice."
CC：“（毫不犹豫地急速把货品diang翻货架上）”

At a hypermarket, CC took down a product from the shelf.

CC：“Yi~ yi, where is this product from?"
Me: "Thailand."
CC: "Oh...not bad lah (after some thought, she decided to put it back)."
CC: "Wa~ai, this product leh?"
Me: "China."
CC: "(Straight away put back)"
CC: "Ei, this product came from which country?"
Me: "Malaysia."
CC: "Wa, good. (prepared to put it into the basket)"
Me: "Tesco Choice."
CC: "(Immediately remove from the basket and throw it back onto the shelf)"

2010-07-06T18:15:00.000+08:00

I bought another optical mouse in less than a month. Cheap mouse sucks. I bought the previous mouse two weeks ago, during the Tech Fair in school. RM 9. And just right after 24 hours, the roller went banana. So did the left-right click-e-dies.

If only Naan-neh, my beloved lost cat is still around to rip mouse into thousands and millions of pieces! Of electronic component. Especially the LED. Totally hating red.

Few days ago I bought another mouse at another Tech Fair but not in school this time. CC dragged us out around 9.30pm and tempted me to buy a substitute for the shitty piece of crap. I wasn't considering it until her voice knocks into my head like a magic spell and also the persuasion of that dealer.

This mouse costs RM15. Well, reasonable still. He kept saying the brand of the mouse is good. But when I persistently asked him about the 'lifespan' of it, he could not give an answer. Ok I admit I was a little impatient and became slightly rude after he rejected my request of a slight discount. I wanted him to open up the wrapper and let me test the mouse but he refused, saying he didn't have scissors.

He pushed the mouse to me that I can't throw it away from my arms. The box was dusty, as if it had been buried in the Sahara desert for the last decade. And there were openings at the bottom of the box. Clearly this mouse was born during the Elizxbeth Txylor's era.

I wanted to put it back but I don't want to appear like a jerk (because I already demanded too much on that item). Plus, CC continued chanting the magic spell in my head saying her mouse cost RM19 and that this was a great deal already.

At the end, I bought the mouse. That guy didn't seem reliable at all. For few minutes I stood at a corner to see how many people stopped by his stall.

Zero.

But thankfully, the mouse is functioning well. At least for these few days. Who knows what fate this mouse holds in the coming days. Mice nowadays do not celebrate longevity anymore you know, though cats are too tired and getting lazier to hunt them down.

2010-07-04T18:59:00.000+08:00

最经金宝天气转凉，尤其是傍晚时分的空气，更是无比的清爽。是有一股冲动想要扒光身上的衣服到处裸奔，可是碍于隔壁有两名已经对我虎视眈眈已久的警察叔叔，我只好披上战衣 —UTAR My Choice，骑着脚车奔向天际。

是啊，下午一睡就睡了三个小时。去兜兜风应该有醒脑的作用。拿了那架数码相机，我毫不犹豫地冲出那闷热的囹圄里。出门之前，依稀看到刚睡醒到楼下懵懂的cc。

微风徐徐打在我的脸上，好像戴了假发的王祖贤的感觉。好想解放自己，进入风中与它共舞。在途中，一个老伯伯悠闲地坐在树下。当时有一股冲动想要向前和他交谈，可是又把自己会忍不住对他上下其手，就压抑这个举动。

来到一个大树下，就很想把这一幕拍下来，因为整体感觉就很棒。那个大树的后面，就是连绵山峦，之间隔了几排屋子，和一间破坏美感的TNB的蓄电屋。拍了几个角度，都拍不住那个感觉。那坐在远处的老伯伯应该一直在看着我一直蹲上蹲下，左右摆动，就是个神经病就对了。后来后方一对印裔母女出来走走，和一个溜狗的Uncle也来到了草场。车辆不停地穿梭，我也感到大家看着我那副怪异的眼神。突然心里一阵凉风飘过。心虚到好想找个洞转进去。虽然前方有个大型垃圾槽，但我还不至于逃到垃圾洋去躲避周围人类投在我身上的视线。

离开了这个草场，我来到了另一个草场。好多全家上下都聚集在草场上玩乐。小孩子们在游乐场里游戏，有的就和父亲放风筝。而一个印裔uncle坐在火堆旁等垃圾燃烧。有好多精彩的画面是很值得拍下来了，可是手中的数码相机不争气，拍出来的效果就是个‘烂’字。所以就是说，这架数码相机根本彻底毁了我这位摄影鬼才的天赋。走开啦！

本来画面是很美好的，突然间一辆足以把耳朵炸聋的Wajah出现了就破坏了和谐的气氛！两个小伙子。槟城车。不明白年轻人听音乐为了一定要这样。很厉害meh？很厉害啦？等你们老了，耳朵就更厉害，等着瞧吧，未来聋的传人！

好了。结束了。又要回家和Ms Chiok 的Public Adminstration 见面了。基本上我每一个sem都把大多数的时间奉献给他教过的科目。也好。能够用科目来麻醉自己，不偿是件坏事。

2010-06-30T20:44:00.001+08:00

A: "Monday is what day?"
B: "Mon."

Jiesu.

2010-06-27T11:16:00.000+08:00

平时吃放后，我们都会小玩大老二两下才各自回房。有时兴致勃勃，我就开始大认家人。

我：“Ivy是我们家奶奶。”
Ivy：“（只会翻白眼，超弱的）”
我：“祥明是爸爸。”
祥明：“（走软的路线，一直微笑）不是啊，你爸爸在居銮。”
我：“你是金宝爸爸呀。”
祥明：“（笑容持续）不是啊。（然后故事也没有下文了）”
我：“ＣＣ是妹妹。”
CC：“（低沉的嗓音，机灵猫咪般的眼神）我只是顺道过来打牌的隔壁家阿姨。”

输完。

结束。

2010-06-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

因为下午吃了UTAR 盛情赞助的pizza，肚子很胀，所以就没和Housemate 去吃晚餐。谁知，一到半夜，我读Federalist No。10 读到头昏脑涨，上了两次大号，肚子也饿到呱呱叫。我终于受不了两个小时的精神折磨了！

到了楼下，发现Ivy奶奶已入眠。楼下漆黑一片，只有楼梯口微弱的灯，照在层层的阶梯上。我一步一步走下去，寻找我的食物天堂。手里拿着涂了cream cheese 和garlic spread 的面包，两块巧克力，和Goodday的鲜奶来到楼梯旁。我靠在墙边，坐在阶梯上，啃着面包和巧克力，拼命狂灌鲜奶入肠，孤独庆祝12.00am的到来。

还有一支小壁虎在其中一格阶梯上瘫睡着。还好今天老子今天大发慈悲，不想杀生，就由得你在那里自己爽。

那种感觉还蛮可怜的，再加上外头下了绵绵细雨。
回到房间，不想读了。就写了这一连串废话。快了，是时候睡觉了。可是不知怎么的，肚子还是很饿。好像吃面包很不充实。昨晚被public bank cheque resit 打死的一只小蟑螂的干尸还在我的laptop 旁（应该是被laptop 释放出的热气烘干的吧？）

够了，不写了。无聊的人生。如果再继续说下去，我可能还会扯到Tesco那个security guard 有多靓仔一下（下午等MQA 时去了那里）。Kenny 还在他后面那体重机器投了两毛钱硬币量体重。=.=

2010-06-22T16:24:00.000+08:00

As you know, I am now the news editor for Jay-on. Don't congratulate me I am not paid.

On one hand, I feel stressful to be a part of this. To involve in the editorial board, it requires a high level of dedication. I told myself to not to put my heart into this news portal if my priorities are not fulfilled. Yet, if you know me well, I would try my hardest best to do well in anything I do, not that I want to boast my ability to make it a success. It's not the outcome I am talking about. It's the process.

Yet on the other hand, there is a part of me that feels this responsibility placed upon my shoulder would somehow be a memorable experience in my university life. Working with people is not easy, especially when people do not understand the way you work and think that you are the black sheep of the family.

Seriously I am very sick of dealing with attitude like "luckily I wasn't involved in this hassle", or "I am not that stupid till I dig my own graveyard". If these people carry on to have this kind of attitude no matter what they do, be it in their career or family life, they would not accomplish a thing they themselves would be proud of (I am not saying what we do is to gain popular support from people but it is self-recognition that I am talking about).

At least I know I am not alone. I have a team of dedicated editorial members. I believe Nigel would lead the team well (cheque for bribing, tonight, into my account please).

And oh, my motto of dedication is "I'd do my best when duty is on, but I don't live for Jay-on (as long as I am not paid)."

Anyway I was assigned to write a feature on the few oversea students who are currently doing research on the engineering course in our university. The problem is, I could not reach them. The cell phone number could not be reached. There are people helping around, telling me where they can be found at what hour and what day. I can't be possibly spend my whole day waiting for them to show up, right? That's more of a foolish act rather than a dedicated one.

It started of with four students believed to be from France. Then it turned out that they are from Germany. Few days later, I got to know from a waiter in a American-themed restaurant that there are actually two groups of them: Four from France and four from Germany!

I have all sorts of information about them - where would they appear; on what day on what time; at which place and what they do. I basically have their daily schedule on a file named "Hunting Western Hotties Journal" in my laptop.

I wish I could catch them some time next week. They better appear soon or else don't blame me for barging into their bathroom with CCTV.

By the way, we should really consider of getting advertisers for the news portal. It's a form of business venture we are talking about, man (I just get over the fact that I am not paid)!

P/S: Just in case our dear friends from France read this: I am just kidding. Please don't sue me I beg you~~

2010-06-15T23:44:00.000+08:00

Traveling necessitates expenses. Expenses means expenditure. Expenditure in other words mean money. And money doesn't grow from butts though Chinese like to claim that 'thing' coming out from our butts as 'gold'. It really never serve up to its purpose in the case of inflation emergency.

Why would people called a piece of shit 'gold' anyway? It's dark and it's not shinny. Even gold bars coming out from fellow vegetarians are yellowish green, right?

What to do. Chinese memang good at 'see money eye open'.

You take bus, you need to pay. You eat, you need to pay. You step into a museum, you need to pay. You enter toilet to drop gold, you also need to pay.

I can be very financially cautious at times. But I do not know what would be the best way to generate money. Writing articles to newspaper could only earn me tens of ringgit. Sigh. I should have accepted Granny Gao's offer for doing a private show two months ago. Some form of desperation can never be underestimated.

Perhaps I the kind of person who think too far ahead. If only I could live like Wendy Wong. She spends money on traveling first then only comes to worrying about what might befall her, whereas I would think ahead what would happen if I do not have money to survive through.

She can always look so happy and cheerful no matter what happens. One day we were chatting in MSN, she said why do I always look so happy and laugh all the time. even on some lousy jokes by people from another level (you know what kind of person I am talking about...). But I feel like her laughter is much sincere than mine. Probably too much botox that made my face smile unconsciously.

Most importantly, she travels around as if she plants a money tree in her room! I just cannot be as carefree as she is. Personality is something a person couldn't change - sad, but true. Wendy! I am so envious. beware of knife behind your back when you see me approaching. LOL.

2010-06-08T00:17:00.001+08:00

I am supposed to sleep now but...too many things push right into my mind like a continuous fart timed by an endless stopwatch. I really can't put my finger on it. I have lost count the number of my fingers since migrated to the planet of Octopusto.

Anyway, just to vent my frustration. I am tired of attending so many classes in a day. I am not made up of nuts and bolts. I cannot concentrate when my concentration level is low. I cannot absorb everything like Spongebob SquarePant. I am only a human-like alien.

I am so sick. Tired. Can't mercy be spared on a coffee addict who is trying his hardest best to give up his addiction?

I just want to finish up all the assignments and flee from the university life. I need to find a quiet place where I can talk to farmers or pastors or monk or Godzilla to seek what truly humanism or monsterism is.

I realised assignments given by lecturers are very formatted. Rigid. Structured. Lack of human spirit. There is just something missing that just couldn't enlighten the lost soul of mine. Can't generate a meaningful piece of work that I could be so enlightened till I would jump up shouting "Eureka!" and run naked around Kampar.

The fulfillment upon each completion can hardly be valued. We produce a work to pursue higher marks instead of realising the results from our findings that would be appreciated by me and myself alone. It's ok if nobody understands it as long as I am happy with the outcomes. Tell me what is the purpose? I don't know. Enlighten me.

I, by and large, hate the secular education system. I was meant to be Plato's student, Seriously. Though he might just freak out if he finds out me sending flying kisses to Aristotle. Oh well. Can't blame a man of that age for being jealous.

纸扎钢琴之恋

2010-05-19T13:39:00.003+08:00

那纸札钢琴是你的生命，你的一切。你把这架钢琴置在窗旁，好让琴声感动世界，丰富邻居朋友的人生。

你每天坐在纸札钢琴，继续善用音乐来美化这个充满罪恶的世界。你把莫扎特的古典音乐cd放入搁在窗边的cd player。音乐扬起，你闭上眼睛，往那也是用纸札出来的黑白键盘努力弹奏，沉醉在音乐的幻境里。音乐进入了高潮，你的身体也似乎赵了魔似地随着旋律摆动。

一位钢琴店老板已经注意你很久了，大概注意了50年吧。他几乎每个早上都会买了早餐就坐在你的窗旁享受音乐。他感受到你对音乐的热忱，然而他发现你弹来弹去，就是那几首莫扎特的音乐。

直到第60年后，钢琴老板终于鼓起勇气，和正在弹着纸札钢琴的你说话。你停止弹琴但cd里的音乐仍继续演奏下去。你优美地按下stop，顺了顺头发，便微笑地看着钢琴店老板。

你:＂您好，有什么事？”

钢琴店老板双手倚在窗边托着下巴，看着你：“我已经听你弹了６０年的琴。我很感动。你的妙手在钢琴上游走，竟然能弹奏出能够穿透灵魂的乐曲！我真的太敬仰你了！”

你仍微笑着，然后闭上眼睛，慢条斯理地在空中作了几个陶醉在弹琴中的动作。

钢琴店老板：“呀，多么美妙的琴声啊！”

你的双手再从右边，迅速地在空中弹至左边。

钢琴店老板：“哦，你的手指带走了我的灵魂！”

你继续闭着眼睛，环绕着钢琴店老板的头弹了一圈，并将十根手指指停留他的左右肩膀上。

钢琴店老板：“呜，又是完美的一首歌。你太棒了。”

你张开眼睛，不好意思地笑着说：“谢谢您的赞赏。我是世界唯一的。。。钢琴精灵。”

钢琴店老板：“为了能够听你弹出更完美的曲调，我打算。。。送你一架全新的钢琴！”

你收起你的双手，不可思议地抓着自己的头发轻轻摇晃着，便按着额头仰天说：“噢，这怎么可能，先生？　您真的愿意吗？”

钢琴店老板：“是的，我希望你能够用新的钢琴来弹出能够感化世界的音乐，让世界变得美好！”

你作势又在空中弹了几下，便握着钢琴店老板的下巴深情地道：“谢谢。。您。” 说完，便将那破旧的纸札钢琴撕碎抛向
空中。

隔天，新的钢琴送到家了。掀开箱子一看，是一架全新的纸札钢琴。

你失落极了。

钢琴店老板：“难道。。。你不喜欢吗？”

你跪坐在地上，试着抹干脸上的假眼泪，说：“没。。。没有。我喜欢。。。”

钢琴店老板蹲了下来，掏出了一个盒子。

钢琴店老板：“送给你。”

你望着他，接过盒子便打开来看。你顿时喜出望外，拥抱着钢琴店老板：“谢谢您！谢谢您！”

钢琴店老板开心地抱着你：“看到你的笑容，我也变开心了。来吧，弹弹几首乐曲来听听吧。”

你在盒子里翻了翻，翻着贝多芬及萧邦的cd，不知要弹那一首新歌好。打开了cd player，放进新的贝多芬cd便按play。你又进入了音乐世界里，用他送的新纸札钢琴弹出了地第一首曲子。

钢琴店老板则坐在纸札钢琴旁开始享用早餐，不时不时投入地随着拍子鼓掌。

与蟑螂男友的一夜

2010-05-10T13:04:00.003+08:00

黑，原来可以如此浪漫。你躺在床边，喝着一杯vodka，和蟑螂仔分享你的internship。

你感性说：“我真的从报社身上学到很多东西。人生，的确丰富不少。”

蟑螂仔舔了舔自己脚上的粪便，接着说：“是好事啊，亲爱的。可是你却不知道我如何在房里度过漫长寂寞的夜．”

你：“我也很无奈啊。少了你在我身边，我每晚只能以类洗脸。只怪你体型太小，不能ｃａｌｌ你手机，要不然被压死都不知。”

蟑螂仔用健硕的褐色翅膀抚摸你的脸颊，安慰着说：“这四个月里，我们都过得特别痛苦。我们还有一年的时间能够一起度过，我们一起珍惜吧。”

你：“是啊，到时候，你又得回到蟑螂界去繁殖了。而你族群的祭司应该会因我们的人蟑恋，严重惩罚你吧。我好担心你呀！”

说完，你投入他柔软的肚子怀抱中。他的下腹不断的蠕动，你可以感受到他肚子里的奶色的浆在温暖的流动。

蟑螂仔：“为了你，这点苦算得了什么。最多他们把我翅膀打断，再选一个丑八怪跟我交配而已吧。”

你：“哦，我可怜的宝贝！”

蟑螂仔亲吻你的脸颊，用他的长满细须的六只脚为你拭眼泪：“别出声了，就这样，静静地躺在我的腹部上，感受我腹部里装满着爱的温度。”

远处的壁虎看到了，不禁打冷颤，说道：“人类跟昆虫乱搞，世界真是变了样。唉。世界变了样。。。”

突然，一本厚厚的书从空中降下，把壁虎压扁了。

你：“给我闭嘴你，都是当初你拒绝我的爱，害得我无缘跟爬虫类交往！　还好有蟑螂仔在身边安慰我！你有什么资格说我们，你凭什么！我打死你，打死你，打死你！”

蟑螂仔立刻从你的背后努力张开翅膀和手臂抱着你，阻止你：“好了，好了，亲爱的！别跟他计较了。。。”

你：“打死你，打死你！”　而你仍着魔地继续往他的尸体狂扁，直到壁虎体内的肉汁喷洒整个房间。壁虎的妻子在厕所旁伤心欲绝，尝试要冲出去救老公，还好蟑螂族群们拼命拉着她。

蟑螂祭司：“你不能去啊，会死的！一年后等蟑螂仔回到我们的身边，我们会好好的惩罚他的，为你老公讨回一个公道！”

壁虎太太：“我不要公道啊，我要我的老公，老公。。。老公。。。”

蟑螂祭司极力拉着壁虎太太：“你别这样，别出去啊！好啦好啦，以后蟑螂仔的命运，就由你处置，这样满意了吧？”

壁虎太太张大泪汪汪的眼睛，不敢相信：“真的？”

蟑螂祭司：“这是我答应你的。一年后我会遵守我的诺言。”

壁虎太太破涕为笑，轻轻捶着蟑螂祭司的手臂，嗲嗲地害羞笑着：“恩~讨厌嘛。呵呵。”

说完，壁虎太太就往向床的那一端，看见蟑螂仔和你在亲热，就恨痒痒地心里道：“蟑螂仔，你终究逃不过我的魔掌。到时候，你就得一辈子跟我法式舌吻！”

她伸了伸永无止境延伸的舌头，然后蠕动身体，狂笑离开。

蟑螂祭司转向他的族群看着他们，说：“难怪那天红蚂蚁爷爷会说他是个骚货。”

而蟑螂祭司，吐了吐气，庆幸两年前，当壁虎太太尝试勾引他时，他还好没有答应跟她乱搞。

洋葱蒜头对骂录

2010-05-05T13:35:00.002+08:00

洋葱：“我说蒜头妹子呀，你为何对人们那么好呢？应该给一点颜色他们瞧瞧才知道我们的利害！”
蒜头：“洋葱奶妈啊，我有什么办法？人们动不动就用刀把我打扁，我们这种苦命的，还能做什么？在昝板上示威庅？”
洋葱：“振作啊，像我一样，挺一挺，硬硬的，打也打不扁。所以他们就只好放弃啦！”
蒜头：“孩，到最后还不是要受死。算了吧。我看开了。打扁也好，至少把我打晕先，死得也不会那么痛苦。”
洋葱: "妹子，怎么那么没骨气呀！要死也要死得壮烈呀！　为蔬菜界驳回一口气嘛！”
蒜头：“不是说我没有骨气，我们只是不想蚍蜉撼大树啊，奶妈。”
洋葱：“不试试看你怎么知道呢？来吗，跟人类拼了吧！加油！加油！蒜头妹子加～油～”
蒜头：“够啦，你跟我闭嘴你！我忍你很久了！你基因好，能够让人类流眼泪,我不行，就是不行，你满意了吧!”
洋葱：“哎呀，你这黄脸婆，不管你的皮肤上白色的妆，你的肉还是黄色的！哪像我，白里透红，就是美女一个！”
蒜头：“骚货！人类流泪都是因为觉得你很可悲！哈哈！”
洋葱：“我有姿色，你没有！”
蒜头：“你给我闭嘴你！”
洋葱：“活该你，最好把你拍扁打死！然后再ｔｉｏｋ　ｔｉｏｋ　ｔｉｏｋ把你ｔｉｏｋ　成蒜米！”
蒜头：“最好人类把你白里透红恶心的肌肤拿去爆香，焦死你！”
洋葱：“最好人类用blender把你搅成蒜茸！！！！”
蒜头：“你也是逃不过进入ｂｌｅｎｄｅｒ的魔咒！！！！”

两菜互相争执。蒜头把洋葱的皮一层一层拔下来，而，洋葱则拼命往蒜头身上踩，踩到一挞挞黑印在他身上。

你妈妈走进厨房准备下厨了。挑了挑，就很生气地说：“怎么会有那么烂的洋葱和蒜头在这里！”

说完就把二菜扔入垃圾桶里。

结束。

2010-04-30T10:40:00.001+08:00

Thanks for the reminder, CC. I had this in my head last night but forgot to put in ~

Thank you to all Elween's Angel - CC, Granny Ivy, Chye Moi, Kaka, Ms Irene Sista and JunRu Meizi, who obviously did not offer much help to me even visiting her territory in Shah Alam.

Back in those days, without Internet access was really tough. Google map was so near...yet so far. It was bookmarked on the bar of the firefox window but the map didn't want to show its face.

A big thank to CC also for checking my mailbox every now and then. She was the only person given direct access into my mailbox so you can imagine our level of relationship. 跳进黄河都洗不清。

Ms Irene Sista even called me in the middle of the night to teach me the direction to Shah Alam though I did was replied "em, em, em" in my dreamland.

Of course, Granny Ivy - the cheong hei one, thank you~

Chye Moi also...when I told her about my assignment to Balakong,I remembered...

and Kaka~ I think both of us traveled a lot to weird places ~ so we are like 共患难的电话夫妻档。

And again JunRu Meizi's "I live in Shah Alam but I only know where my school is" kind of help. Still, appreciate her effort to help identify some of the places in Shah Alam.

And also Chocolate. She had left her paper yesterday. She had helped me a lot. I know she was not enjoying her work in the office. I wish her the best in whatever she does in the future.

AND I AM NOT GOING TO THANK THOSE WHOM I HAVE ASKED FOR HELP BUT ONLY KNEW HOW TO SAY "DUNNO DUNNO DUNNO DUNNO DUNNO DUNNO DUNNO!" You know who you are! Be ashamed. Be very ashamed!!

2010-04-29T14:52:00.001+08:00

Reading a post from CC's blog, I thought maybe I should post something to recollect my memories of the 14-week internship with The Edge.

I am terrified of Mr Ghany and Mr Tho-mas!

That's one.

I didn't spend much time talking to people in the office because when I was too focused I tend to create an imagery cubicle around. I got very stressed up at times.

Communicating with normal people (that means all you UTARians *coursemates* are abnormal, yes I mean it.) is tough because I was afraid of crossing the line.

Whining and complaining are my nature. I do not bear grudges against anyone specifically. I tried to be truthful to my feelings and emotion all the time so I won't go crazy under such environment.

The coffee cup on my office desk was left dried two months there because I was lazy to wash.

I enjoyed the fellowship with reporters from Chinese and Sabah papers. I don't know, maybe it's because of the language I speak. 我的华语就是很强。地位很高。And I enjoyed hearing them criticising the food.

I played Castle Age in the office. Sometimes when the computer was down and people walk passed me, I had to cover the screen with my body.

I drank at least two cups of coffee a day.

In selecting cab drivers, I was quite a racist. Pardon me.

I visited A&W almost every week and Rasamas when I needed to go KL for assignment.

I have stolen more stacks of papers and napkins (during refreshment) in different hotels than you could imagine.

I didn't spend a cent on shopping for clothes. It was an unbelievable miracle. Instead I spent hundreds of ringgit on books. Well, this wasn't a miracle.

I had extra money spared from my allowance every month.

I really didn't like the guy who kept walking to and fro when talking on his mobile. and also that guy who smelled cigarette all over him.

In all the articles published with bylines on the paper, mine were among the shortest and was always placed at the side.

I loved, am still loving LG more than Panasonic; AirAsia than Fxre-fly (gosh, give me a break *翻白眼*）. And Son-wey boss, blek and shoo~.

And the goodbye cards I made were really ugly, on second thought.

I liked to bully soft spoken journalists but often intimidated by the senior ones.

I watched 康熙来了at least an episode a day. I tried very hard to hold back my thunderous laughter till I get stomachache every time.

I would want to offer my sincere thanks to those who have helped me. From editors to writers, to Kakaks from RapidKL bus to bus drivers with good manners; To PR people who emailed needed information within the time they promised (the rest please get lost); To those who allowed me to tumpang them to get back city centre and those who were willing to share their experiences and information.

Also, most important, I want to thank Aunty Shirly and family for taking me in. 3 and a half months was a long time! I must have disturbed the family a lot, especially Kay Aun. Our lifestyles are so different but he did not utter a complaint to me at all. I feel bad.

More facts would be posted up if I recall the sweet and bitter moments in the future. Who knows, 50 years down the road if I suddenly recall something I might just post it here.

Last but not least...

I didn't not have an affair with the managing director of Kay-Eff-See Holdings Bhd.

2010-04-22T16:48:00.000+08:00

等待巴士固然痛苦，但是在巴士里的道德与灵魂的战争可也是不好受的。

道德教育里常常教导我们要让位给孕妇和老人坐。我就是传说中所谓的让位天使。在过去三个月里，别说我贱，我至少让过三次位子给老婆婆坐。那也在我坐到屁股酸才甘愿让位给那些站了至少30分钟以上的老人家坐。开玩笑的啦。

听到婆婆们的感恩，我心欢喜。可是说实话，我真的很讨厌不懂得道谢的老人家。不管你几岁，这种事，说一句谢谢又很难吗？一屁股坐下，连跟我笑一下都很像会死酱。

不说老人家这边，说一说当巴士满人的时候吧。我这个人就是人太好，看到有站着的人，我就觉得有歉意可是却又不舍得站起来。可是对于那种健壮的年轻小伙子，我就还好。尤其是那种嗲嗲样的女生，在那里嘟嘴巴装可怜的我受不了。最好一辈子给我站住！恶心的女人。

我的唯一致命伤就是那种30多岁的uncle 或aunty.他们嘛，看起来不是很老也不是很年轻。也应该还没有到需要我让位子的程度。可是心里还是很不踏实。

另一方面，就是在拥挤的巴士里，就像今天，我手提很多个包包（因为要回金宝），站都站不稳。后来又一辆巴士抛锚了，它的乘客都上了我们这辆，挤得半死。然后就有很多老人家会上来啊，我又力不从心啊。然后就会感觉到周围的uncle Aunty 望过来，提醒我是应该让位给老人家坐的。

我很心急！然后就想到。。。眼神开始向远处放空，双手一直不停地在找顿在脚上背包的拉链。然后就轻轻拍打书包一直找东西，眼神继续放空。。。希望当时的人会对失明的年轻乘客有点同情心吧。。。

孩，还需要出动这招，我真是烂透了。

2010-04-19T19:50:00.000+08:00

A beef sandwich priced at 24 bucks each serving?

Not exageratin', I'm tellin' ya.

I didn't not have a good feeling for assignments that are related to ministers. Business writers need to fight for time in raising questions with writers from other beats since we have very different focus.

I don't know, I just felt business writers sometimes can be a little pampered. Reporters from general desk are more aggressive. Fier~ce~ (Tyra Banks style)

Some focused on the implementation of 'black-spot' on roads while some on tolls. Some on the construction of expressways. And one particularly on hospital (didn't know why, but she just asked). I was the exceptionally one too since I asked something about potential acquisition pasal toll roads.

Usually when others ask, he talked a lot but when it came to my question, he just gave me 2 short sentences and went silent. I don't know was he hiding something, or he just didn't bother about it.

When he started speaking in the Malay, I knew I would have a hard time. Seriously after entering university, my understanding for the language had tremendously jatuh.

Allow me to divert a bit. Especially the mention of numbers in Bahasa Melayu. Try this: "321.102" as "Tiga ratus dua puluh satu ribu satu ratus kosong dua" fast, you will know how hard it is to catch that. Nope, if you read in front of me, I would not understand a single digit you say, and you might find my five baby little fingerprint inked on your face.

Well he was fine, pronunciation was ok, quite a funny person, and charming too. Oh, the way he sniffed his nose sniffed the soul out of me. Ooo~

After the event, we had "breakfast" downstairs at a cafe. Without looking at the price, I just closed my eyes and pointed on the food. Oh, beef burger and a cup of cappuccino. Guess the price ~ and the price is right. It's almost RM30.

I was sitting with an experienced reporter. She was complaining about other reporters just as other reporters complained that she had asked too much. I thought she was good though because she wanted to get news she wanted.

Though the mediocre ones were simply rude, especially the lady from TV3 (not the one I admire)who kept shouting "Dah dah dah, cukup. Jangan tanya lagi! Banyak sangat info!", the reporter who asked many questions were quite arrogant as well. She told us that many went up to her for details after the event as if she was the champion collector of news data.

We sat at a table with a guy (don't know what pangkat la), he talked tak abis abis! Two of them complemented each other like husband and wife. That conversation went on for more than 2 hours, from vegetarian burgers to tin mining. It's almost like '80 days Around the World' and I was stuck in the hot air balloon- couldn't get out.

It was my first time at the KL Hilton hotel. I couldn't find my way out. I bid them goodbyes and when up the escalator. And came down from the elevator on the other side. Then I walked passed them again. They were still talking. Tak berhenti, mak oi! I just pretended I didn't see them and quickly ran to KL Sentral.

2010-04-12T14:01:00.000+08:00

虽然不是特别疯狂的一天，可是头脑就一直在想一些千奇百怪的东西，搞得自己像个神经病人一样。

今天去了Office一趟，就想去Ikano打包A&W. 为了方便就park车在Tesco那边，然后通过The Curve的地下通道过去Ikano. 不是我要说什么，单单park车就花了十分钟！如果不是Mutiara Damansara 的Tesco 的parking lot 超小的原因，就是我的parking技巧烂。

好啦欸，是我parking烂啦OK。

我就在车里拼命翻白眼。然后我的表情就被刚到，park在我对面的两位白发老auntie看到了。应该是被看到吧，要不然他们也不会一直看着我然后彼此喃喃自语。还蛮不好意思的，太阳眼镜一拉下，就冲进Tesco.

你知道科技发达嘛，就有很多电动门咯。然后电动门不是都很好玩吗？当时经过很多扇电动门，我的手就情不自禁地在门上面施魔法，好像我有能力把那几公吨重的门给打开。当然我也不好意思很夸张把我的手撑很大啦，就意思意思在空中画个小圆圈。不要跟我说你们私底下没有玩过，Ok！会读这个blog的人也不会正常到那里去吧。

然后，就很开心啊，心里一直鼓掌，赞美自己多厉害多厉害。然后嘴角就一直骄傲地试着上扬。就很开心啊，很想笑，可是又不可以大大方方地笑出来，周围几多人你知道吗。所以在步行的时候，我的嘴巴是一直在抽蓄着，要不然就一直含着嘴唇，告诉自己不可以笑出来。你知道那些security看到我就觉得怪怪的，我也不好意思看他们。尤其是一出来，到McD的户外的时候，坐在那边吃快餐的老外全都望过来一个嘴巴不停颤抖的怪人走pass他们。

就这样，我一路玩到Ikano那里去。

打包完了，就经过一些那种促销booth。然后没有一个promoter要上来烦我欸。本想准备好要给他们一些眼色瞧瞧的，可是我当时穿着一件t shirt 和牛仔裤，也很合理啦。我就是个年轻少年学生样，他们应该不会拉拢我的。然后心里就一直暗爽，想着：“不向我Ｐｒｏｍｏｔｅ是你们自己的损失，你们不知道我亿万富翁身价３００亿的富公子吧！”，想着想着，自己又开始很拽地一直翘起眉毛，头就在那里左右微晃，大摇大摆地走出Ｉｋａｎｏ　。

欸你也知道我很碍眼...I mean爱演的啦。玩玩一下忘记周围都是望着我的人类。就很尴尬啊，然后在那里一直发狂的制止自己的笑意。

我简直快发疯了。穿插回去Ｔｅｓｃｏ那里，又看到那个保安阿姨。她应该也被我吓死了吧。

嚄，又高兴又疯狂的一天。我还真强啊我。

2010-04-09T00:51:00.000+08:00

You know, it's a little intimidating when some of the members of the Parliament or any organizations embed my article on their blogs or websites. This terrifies me like how Grace Jones' music videos did to me two years ago.

And because these people are popular public figures, they have followers who read their blogs. And they would comment on the article. So I must be fully prepared to embrace criticism from their supporters.

The second intimidating reason is, if they think my article is well-written (so to say), and that I must be a man with 'great wisdom' and and journalistic integrity who 'only pens the truth'. And they would begin to Google my great name. And they would discover the secluded Diamond-drops Warehouse with a whole lot of crap on this site.

Ok it sounds scary. But I am still going to maintain how it used to be.

If anyone of you came across this wonderland, congratulations. You have won yourself an unlimited pass to the warehouse playground that is politic-free and rubbish-loaded.

I just want to make sure that you know I would not cross the boundary between professionalism and my nature as an Emmy (to-be) winning entertainer. You know. I am the Tina Fey of Malaysia (How's Sarah Palin now, anyway?).

And please..I beg you! Don't report all my mansion's secrets to my future employers! I have a family to feed and Aunty Lucy is not easy to feed.

2010-04-04T18:42:00.000+08:00

我对这本书简直着迷极了。我记得之前我向几位朋友解释有关地球已经经过了六代毁灭与诞生？就从这本书里面，我竟然找到详细的解释。原来这段谜产于Atzec 文明。现在就和大家一起分享。

I am simply fascinated by this book. I remember explaining to a few friends before on the history of the Earth where it had gone through six generations or birth and destruction. From this book, I really did found a detailed explanation on it. Originally this mystery came from the Atzec civilization. Hear ye now for I shall share with everyone here.

I have tried to look for the English version, that is, the original version but found none. But if you are interested to read this documentary written by Chris Morton and Ceri Thomas, go find "The Mystery of the Crystal Skulls". True or false, believe it or not, that's not the primary concern. I am just reading it as a record of their in pursuing the truth behind this crystal skulls.

No, get lost with your Indiana Jones story. Not the right time for fiction here.

"和其他所有的中美洲民族一样，阿兹特克人也相信地球在此之前曾被创造和毁灭过好几次，按他们的日历来看实际上是四次。阿兹特克人相信他们目前生活在“第五个太阳”时代，也就是我们今天的这个时代。这四个世界，或者叫四个太阳，都持续了上万年，但每一个也都最终在大灾变中结束。关于这四个世界结束的确切顺序，人们一直对此看法不太一致，但阿兹特克人的历石也许是最可靠的指南。它给出下列顺序：

　　1．第一时代，或称第一个太阳，是 “巨人们”的时代，他们“吃掉我们的食物”。这些巨人有许多是指恐龙。今天的科学家们相信地球的确曾被一颗巨大的陨星撞击过，结果是把恐龙彻底灭绝了。

从阿兹特克人的观点来看，第一时代结束于巨人们被“老虎”吃掉之时，估计他们指的是被哺乳类动物代替。有一些资料说这个世界毁于洪水，另外一些说“这个太阳在一次日蚀之后就陷于寒冷和黑暗之中”。尽管各种说法不一，但它们却一致认为，就跟以往几个世界的结束一样，太阳不再光芒四射，这次“是在13年发生的”。

　　2．第二时代，或者叫第二个太阳，是“他们变成猴子”并生活在树林里的时代。“他们”指的是谁却不太清楚，但据推测可能是人类的祖先。几乎所有的资料都一致认为，第二个太阳是毁于一场凶猛的风，它卷走了一切东西，砂石遮住了太阳，甚至“太阳自己也被风卷走了”。然而，一部有名的书稿——万迪科诺一拉丁考迪科斯（‘CODex’的意思是一本象形文字和石壁画的书）却补充说：“一个男人和一个女人站在岩石上，他们是这场灾难的幸存者。”

　　3．第三时代，或者叫第三个太阳，开始于古代历法的One FLINT年，据说那时被火神统治着。许多人把这一时代当成是人类学会开始用火的时代，但是相当具有讽刺意味的是，几乎所有的资料都认为这一世界最终毁于一场“火雨”。根据里昂一波迪拉的观点，“火像雨一样降落到他们身上”，而“太阳也被火毁灭了”。很可能这里指的是由于烟与火的遮挡，在地球上看不到太阳的光芒了。这也许是火山——或许也是人类的活动所造成的后果。

　　4．第四个太阳经常被称为臧特里莱克或者“黑发”时代。尽管万迪科诺一拉丁考迪科斯这本书上说在这个世界的未日时，人类经历了一场从天而降的血火之雨后死于饥饿，但是几乎所有其他的记载都与历石的观点一致，认为这个世界在一场大水灾中毁于水。经久不息的雨导致了洪水的爆发，“人类都变成了鱼”。　里昂一波迪拉给我们详细描述了他所听说过的有关世界末日的情况：“他们就这样消失了，他们被水吞没，然后变成了鱼…洪水持续了52年，它结束了他们的生命…天空倒坍下来压在他们身上…他们消失了”，连“所有的山脉也消失了”，都被这在地球上肆虐的洪水吞没了。然而万迪科诺一拉丁考迪科斯这本书又补充说，一对夫妻在洪水中幸免于难，因为“他们被一棵树保住了生命”，这与圣经里诺亚方舟的故事有着惊人的相似之处。

　5．第五个太阳开始于Thirteen Acatl这一年，一直持续到今天。但是阿兹特克人还认为这次的太阳是最后一个。

　　根据里昂一波迪拉的记载，“第五个太阳有四道运动轨迹，被称为运动的太阳，原因是它沿循着自己的轨道运行着。”但是在阿兹特克人的语言（尤蒂一阿茨帝克语族)里，OLLIN这个单词不仅意为“运动”，而且还有“地震”的意思。

里昂一波迪拉接着叙述道：“…正如年长者们所不停说的那样，在这个太阳时期将会出现地震与饥饿，人类的末日也会随之来临。”万迪科诺一拉丁考迪科斯这本书中也提到：“地球将会经历一次运动，我们将会因此而消失。”然而其他一些叙述则表明：将要毁灭现存的，也是最后一个世界的灾变，是自然界里地上、空中和水里所有毁灭力量的结合。最终是一场极度高温和干燥的大火，以及“来自上天的火”，随后便是黑暗与酷寒，相伴而来的有猛烈的飓风和骤雨。所有这些形成了地震、火山活动和毁灭性洪水的总爆发。

　　根据里昂一波迪拉的观点，“阿兹特克人关于五个太阳的神话解释了人类的命运以及最终不可抗拒的末日。”这表明阿兹特克人相信，我们的世界是可以灭亡的，并且时
间是由一连串的时代组成，最后注定要走向毁灭。"

Just one more part extra 'light' reading content for your pleasure - Each crystal skull was believed to have stored certain massages to humankind of our generations. In this world there are 13 crystal skulls scattered in every corner of the world. Rumour has it that when 13 crystals skulls are discovered and gathered together, they will transmit an important message to human race. But by the time, it would be the end of for us. And yes, the fifth or the last cycle of Earth would come to an end.

And shh! don't drag your 2012 movie into this discussion! Hate it when people materialise and commercialise ancient history into a thrilling film.

2010-04-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

好啦。别说我没人性。跟大家分享一下看法拉利（ferr-ari) 的经验吧。

当天我就接到了assignment说是night shift.我整个傻掉！night shift耶！那不是人类活跃的时段，我竟然要出差晚上的功？！

然后叫cc帮我check，原来晚上的是party,早上是media的launch. 我还要赶两场！

昨晚跑两个assignment，等巴士都快要等死我了，今天还要再过这样的生活我真的快急死了。

算了。反正走一步算一步好了。

我不是法拉利的粉丝啦。对我来说，车子越小越好。像kancil就最完美了。费事parking park 不好。我也没有很期待看到车，只是会想象这种上流社会的聚会，他们会给什么door gift叻。

不会给我两桶Ron 95叫我坐巴士扛回家吧。 =.="

等了很久很久，终于有一个记者来了。很熟眼。曾经看过他可是不记得他是谁。他就说那时也是在vol-vo event 碰到我的。果然。大牌记者明星就是这样，去那里只有大家都记得我，而我却不记得他们。

然后就聊啊，聊啊，就聊到床上去。哎哟开玩笑啦。就聊到我的工作坏境啊。我心想反正都不熟，就说我在哪里上班，现在处于probation就好。啊哪谁知，他曾经也在我的报社那里混过，还搬出一大堆那些大咖，问我认不认得。当时本来很风光，搬出很多东西讲，很像自己很pro的。她一说出之前的身份我就直接四肢僵硬兼抽绪和冒冷汗。

过后就逃到厕所避难。

拖了很久都还没开始。我们就不可以进去。然后就有一个化浓妆很丑的女人在我面晃来晃去，烦都烦死了。

终于开始了。一进去，冷到我半死。我又好死不死，坐在那个音响前面。你知道这种跑车的节目，最喜欢放那种轰炸式的引擎配音和tokyo drift的那种音乐。噢，受不了。我几乎整场都是盖着耳朵度过的。还不时使眼色撅嘴给那个ceo看，让他知道我又多不爽。我那个头还在那里一直摇，然后还翻白眼，心想反正要做就做一整套，反正都当坏人了。

so 那辆车就pok出来咯。嘛不久一辆红色的车。然后就一直在台上转转转转转到天昏地暗。我都快被冷死了！

过后整个Q&A session竟然没有reporter要问问题！我，当然也没问。知道的啦，我就是不喜欢和大家分享我的资料，所以都会私底下去找他们‘聊天’。过后我就等着那位年轻的ceo.人家忙着拍照啊！等了很久，然后那么vice（副ceo)的，就站在我前面晃来晃去，好像等我问他问题。我都不想要理这个老人咧！后来就算啦，反正也是个人样，就随便问问一些无关痛痒的问题。哇，他跟我整个人都high起来，说得没完没了！voice recorder都不知浪费几多分钟了！

本来很多记者都要走了。我因为真的没有故事，所以一定要等到ceo. 终于，让我等到了那位魅力非凡的年轻ceo. 我直接冲前去。他也够厉害的。问他一个问题，他可是直接　“No, you see, we..." 然后就可以离题到那个法拉利那边。当然也说了不少废话。可是他声音还蛮性感的。还有他那穿透力超强的眼生使我不知觉的肩膀一直在蠕动，然后手中的recorder还紧贴他湿嫩嘴唇旁。

一望旁边，又是那个英魂不散的老人家，死都要抢镜头杀风景。真想巴他一巴。

后来，我就去找他们ＰＲ聊天。问他们今晚会有什么不同？他说基本上就是会有贵宾和神秘嘉宾和精彩表演。我就很兴奋的“哇！很好耶！”，心想太好了，今晚不必来了。为了有证据，我把她说的话录起来。

结束后，有一家报社竟然跟他做一对一的访问！我心想：“他应该还不知道那ｃｅｏ说废话的威力吧。根本就是把自己送入虎口。”　我和其他记者就在外面吃cheese baked oyster，还故意在他的访问室前面走来走去。

隔天起来上他们网站读他写的新闻稿，欸，是烂故事。那个记者没得吃cheese baked oyster，还浪费ｒｅｃｏｒｄｅｒ的电池和笔墨，真是亏大本了。

不管怎样，我的故事还算是精彩的。至少从他的９分钟废话，我还写得出３００字有价值的文章。

后来回到ｏｆｆｉｃｅ，就跟主编说，今晚的ｐａｒｔｙ我不需要出席了，因为新闻已经收回来了。他说早上有ｅｖｅｎｔ吗？我心想：“拜托，使你自己编排给我的，你自己都不知道吗，先生!"

最后，晚上的party我也不用去啦。虽然是很想去喝免费酒啦，可是闹到凌晨的话也不好吧。隔天还要上班。你看，我几专业。

学着点吧你们（翻白眼）！

对牙刷的记忆

2010-03-30T22:43:00.001+08:00

夜深了。在你要睡觉之前，你记得好像有一件事要做。你只记得牙刷这个名词，却忘记了有关这物品的动词。

你心想：“牙刷，到底是事要用来做什么呢？”

牙刷，牙刷。。。你想了很久，就依稀记得高跟鞋奶奶说过，牙刷就是拿来刷牙的。你拿起了牙刷，看着镜子便顺着牙齿刷了下去。

妈妈在洗手间外一看见就赏了你一个耳光。你直接飞扑跌倒马桶旁，嘴角流出血丝。

妈妈：“谁教你牙刷是用来刷牙的！”

妈妈从你手中的牙刷抢走，便开始拿来说眉毛。

你心想：“原来牙刷是拿来刷眉毛的。我真是个糊涂蛋。”

不久，爸爸冲了进来。把妈妈举起来把她抛向马桶上。妈妈的腰打到马桶的蓄水箱，被折成两半，不断吐血。

爸爸：“一个两个都没用！说明是牙刷了，当然是拿来刷腋毛！” 说着就举起手臂，顺着犹如52寸平面电视宽度的腋毛刷了好几遍。

这时，高跟鞋奶奶气冲冲地进来对着爸爸呐喊：“你们可以不要在孩子的面前乱乱教吗！牙刷就是拿来刷牙的好不好！”

你心想：“对呀，我都记得高跟鞋奶奶曾经说过牙刷的确是拿来刷牙的啊！”

不久你听见了两声洪亮的枪响。高跟鞋奶奶血淋淋地倒下在浴室旁。躺在马桶蓄水箱上的妈妈和站在洗手盆旁的爸爸手中各持着一把还在冒烟的抢。

爸爸：“不是说老人家的话你都可以信的。”

妈妈：“尤其是装假牙的。”　说完便往冒烟的枪口吹了吹，又晕死在蓄水箱，继续吐血。　

爸爸：“老婆！老婆！救命呀！救命呀！”
你拿着爸爸掉下来的牙刷，莫名其妙地走出洗手间。

2010-03-27T13:26:00.000+08:00

This, is ancient civilization.

No words have passed through the livings but only buried alongside corpses sunken into deep seabed somewhere six millennia ago.
Until one day the name of this lost glory was brought to light, its glory restored.

The stories recorded unveiled as telltale of the unique cultures you have ever witnessed in any of the ancient civilizations we have seen or heard of.

Prepare to immerse yourself in an unexplored world to discover its unraveled beauty of its culture and vicious practices.

Join me, as well we travel across time and space, into the civilization of

COMING SOON

2010-03-26T22:23:00.001+08:00

我发现很多时候我的英文和反应烂到要死。要不然就是听到recorder 中自己发问的英文腔，更是怪里怪气的。要不然就句子不完整，通常都已“How to say..ehm...yeah...like that..." 来作结尾。

回到报社要brief 主编时，更是直接变哑掉。business reporting 不像其他新闻能够直接什么都丢出来，至少在我intern的地方，他们才不稀罕我们收集到的呕吐物。可是很奇怪的是，我的副主编和主编都有很大不同的见解。可以说是拥有天壤之别的意见。

天壤之别不是个很难的成语,ok! 我的华语没有那么烂！把你惊讶的下巴收起来！

一直以为自己抓到诀窍了，后来才发现，我抓到的诀窍只是level one 的。 =.=

两个月里，只是pass level one. 还蛮丢脸，自己觉得超失败的。

每当他问起什么什么什么时，我就只会 “啊？鲁恭虾米？”，然后那个手就一直抓头，右眼皮一直跳。

失败啊，失败。

真担心我时不时不适合做这行。很努力很努力的想要做到最好，可是受承认的次数应该不超过十次以上吧。说赞赏的，挺多也是那么两次而已。而且都跟business 无关的。

应该没有做business writer的好命吧。

我们这种，就是天生走苦命路线。那种流浪啦，被别人催骂，赶来赶去的那种工就最适合我了。那种穿西装打领带的还是走远一点吧，我们都不是same world 的。看到我都觉得碍眼吧。你以为我看到你们很爽么。

拽个屁啊，那个大牌老板。想到就好想巴他两巴。

好啦。算啦。我是又学到东西啦。多数都是靠自己揣摩出来的。靠自己的实验多一些。华盛顿埋不是等苹果跌下来才变总统的。算啦，大家都这样过来的。

你们！就让我发发牢骚不可以吗？facebook就是让我宣泄的地方。不想听到我哭天叫地，就hide掉我啦！

你舍得meh, you tell me 啦！

不说了。还有一个月而已。忍一忍就过去了。也恭喜他们不用再收留一个烂铁罐了。

不需要你的同情。只求你读一读我的心声，让我发发牢骚一下就好，ok? 小弟感激不尽。

2010-03-23T15:39:00.000+08:00

Don't be fooled by the name of the place called KLCC like what had happened to me.

I was not expecting the walkway between shopping mall and the ballroom to be never-ending, but this kind of feeling often happen to a person late for an event. It always does.

Before I continue, I want to say before this I had over-valued efficiency of bus U82. A Malay couple told me they had waited at the bus stop beside my aunt's house for more than an hour. I waited for another half an hour and decided to leave because I was late. I suggested to take taxi to the nearest LRT station with them.

They wanted to pay me RM5 but I insisted RM6. Just kidding. I only took RM4 from them since I got Rapidpass to travel for free ma. But the poor couple had to pay much more than taking bus alone. They thanked me like a saviour but I took their money like Judas. Oh well, oh well, this is life.

I knew I was going to be late. I immediately dash out from the train to the information counter. The lady replied like a robot in her artificial smile: "Walk straight to the centre court, turn left. When you see Burger King, turn right."

Excellent direction. One day she could help correcting the thousand mistakes in Google map.

I was expecting a small launch since it's only a fund but the event turned out to be a hi-tea function with Islamic-themed deco and music.

My favourite TV3 reporter (who led reporters out of the press conference during the Toyota recall issue when the CEO refused to attend) was there too. So happy to see her.

Announcing the arrival of our ex-prime minister's son as the distinguished guest of the event, the noisy crowd turned mute. We were like playing "hello hello, testing testing 1,2,3..". All business tycoons and investors stood up and applauded. But we, reporters remained on our seat as if our butts are diamond drops - except the TV3 reporter. She stood up and signaled to us that how much she loves him.

I used to love him too. When he had hair.

The chairman then gave his speech. He mentioned so many numbers and percentages! At the beginning all the reporters were tunduk their heads and wrote super fast to catch his words. Half way through, everyone suddenly stopped. You can imagine a transition from a group of reporters diligently jotting down what he said, to them staring blankly at the upper centre point of the table, spinning their pens in their hands in frustration.

There was not going to be any press conference. What a disappointment! But it saved a lot of trouble as we would just need to refer to their speeches. Pick-and-match is the best game in journalism.

The TV3 reporter had to rush back to studio for the 8pm news while we stayed back for the food. Talk about food, it pissed me off. I had never tasted such lousy food in my entire career (which is only about 2 months or so)! This kind of food served in the country's icon? Mashed eggplant with few drops of sesame oil served on a spoon? I mean, really?

Rang up my editor after the event to see whether he needed me at the office. Traffic jam in the evening is madness. My editor granted my request! I was smiling all the way, hopping back to the station like a little bunny with freckles.

Copy-pasting work was done by 9.00pm. I was so surprised by my proficiency in the English language. Or rather the quality of the one who prepared their speeches.

I wrote a total of 500 words! New record. I am afraid it would not appear on next day's paper due to last submission. Usually all my lengthy articles were only published on the web. Don't know why. Too powerful to appear on paper I guess. Readers might jadi buta seeing the glory of my seni kata.

2010-03-20T08:44:00.000+08:00

The following article was my heart and soul of the day. Those who don't like to read nonsense of the previous drama, this is a more properly structured one.

Kit Siang and Khairy trade barbs over 1Malaysia concept

Written by Elween Loke Wei Jie

Friday, 19 March 2010 20:55

Source: http://www.theedgemalaysia.com/political-news/161961-kit-siang-and-khairy-trade-barbs-over-1malaysia-concept.html

KUALA LUMPUR: DAP parliamentary leader Lim Kit Siang and Umno Youth chief Khairy Jamaluddin have been trading barbs on the micro-blogging site Twitter, over a series of questions that Lim has dubbed an “acid tests” on the 1Malaysia concept.

In a speech in parliament yesterday, Lim posed a series of questions to Cabinet ministers and said their answers would show whether they were sincerely and seriously committed to Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak’s 1Malaysia concept.

The questions are:

Whether he or she agrees to the establishment of an Opposition-headed Parliamentary Select Committee on 1Malaysia;

Is he or she prepared to declare that the basis of 1Malaysia is “ketuanan rakyat Malaysia” and not “ketuanan Melayu”; and

Is he or she prepared to endorse the objective of 1Malaysia as defined by the 1Malaysia Government Transformation Programme (GTP) Roadmap to create a nation where every Malaysian perceives himself or herself as Malaysian first, and by race, religion or region second.

On Friday, March 19, Lim said on Twitter, Umno MPs, including Khairy were stumped by the three questions he posed.

“[This is a] sad day for Malaysia after 53 years since Independence. Umno MPs find it so difficult to answer these three acid tests of 1Malaysia,” he wrote on his Twitter page.

In response to that, Khairy slammed Lim for avoiding the question for Pakatan Rakyat (PR) leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim’s regarding the APCO issue.

Anwar recently claimed the 1Malaysia concept was from APCO Worldwide, an international strategic communications company that was engaged to assist the Malaysian government in strategic communication. The opposition leader claimed that the idea originated from APCO ’s involvement in conceptualising the “One-Israel” slogan for the Israeli government.

DAP national publicity secretary Tony Pua stepped in to advise Khairy to direct the question to Anwar instead of Lim, while Lim called Khairy the “Pathetic Umno Youth chief” for diverting attention to Anwar-related matter.

“On Anwar-APCO , I have no information. Let's see who is right, but this cannot justify disappearance after coming on so powerfully righteous until punctured like tyre with no air by three questions,” Lim quipped.

“Pathetic DAP dino who cannot even understand when someone has answered his ‘trick’ question. Better luck next time old man,” Khairy responded on Twitter.

Pua later added that he was proud to be a Malaysian first before considering his race and religion, “unlike all the Umno tools who don’t even believe in their own 1Malaysia rhetoric”.

Unhappy with the term “Umno tools”, Khairy told Pua he had no intention of starting a quarrel with the latter and that he should step aside.

In Lim’s tweets, the DAP man challenged the “Oxford lad” to answer the questions “if he is capable of answering them”, while Khairy called Lim a “revisionist historian as usual”.

Lim continued firing Khairy for being “the world's only Oxford grad who could not answer three simple questions”.

“The supremacy of the Constitution is the basis of 1Malaysia,” Khairy responded the three with an answer.

“Perhaps you no longer uphold the Constitution. It’s like asking a vegetarian to choose between chicken and beef for lunch. False choice. Nice try,” Khairy twitted.

Following the explanation, Lim hurled a fourth acid test at Khairy to suppress his “attempt to evade by mouthing generalities about the Constitution”.

The fourth question was whether Khairy would accept a Malaysian Constitution founded on the supremacy of Malaysians and not Malay supremacy.

Khairy responded by saying that Lim was just extending his false-choice question and he “was getting under Lim’s skin”. He added the crux was that “1Malaysia gets broad-based and multi-ethnic support. Malaysian Malaysia does not”.

(2)

2010-03-19T12:42:00.000+08:00

The next day, that is about 7 hours later, Lim flew to Kota Kinabalu and kept pressing Khairy on the 3 questions. "Had coined "world's richest unemployed" now may need new one - world's only Oxford grad who could not answer 3 simple questions".

But Khairy wished a warm morning before launching his catapult. "Your personal insults aside, I will not cede my ground. I have answered the ONE question you asked. Baca Hansard. Anyway, its flattering that I consume much of your thoughts, Sir. Last thing you thought of before tidur & first after bangun."

Hansard--> Website of the Parliament of Malaysia

So Mr Lim still went on and on and Khairy gave his response that 1Malaysia is a concept based on the supremacy of the Constitution. He sarcastically said :"Perhaps you no longer uphold the constitution. Its like asking a vegetarian to choose between chicken or beef for lunch. False choice. Nice try."

Lim didn't bother and went on with the 4th question (oh gosh, don't make it a daily quiz!) in attempt to evade by "mouthing generalities about the Constitution".

And the fourth question was - Whether (THE party) accept Malaysian Constitution founded on ketuanan rakyat Malaysia n not ketuanan Melayu, challenge Khairy to "Continue to run!".

Khairy cool jer: "Haha. I thought you let the matter rest? Sorry I'm getting under your skin. Extending your false choice question, I see. The crux: 1Malaysia gets broad-based, multi-ethnic support. Malaysian Malaysia didn't."

Lim accentuated a theory on Khairy's 'trick-play' to counteract: "Are these trick questions? If so 1Malaysia is a trick slogan n concept n somebody is a trick graduate from Oxford".

"(Still) Refuse to admit his false choice question," said Khairy. He continued saying: “I get you're unhappy that Malaysian Malaysia has failed that's why son has invented Middle Malaysia. All because threatened by 1Malaysia”.

What 'son has invented Middle Malaysia' means? Apa tu son? Tak tau la. hantam jer.

He said he had finished attending the economy council briefing on New Economy Model and back to layan Lim’s provocation, and quipped: “The man is obsessed with me!”

Then Pua came back into the show and responded to his earlier comment: "We are threatened by 1Malaysia? ;-) hehe...(smiley to Lim)"

---- No response from both sides after few hours. Like most ancient Egyptian papyrus script rolls, this story would be as incomplete. Why? Because "when it's time to go home, it's time to go home". Who cares about the show, I am not Nigel.----

Sources:

Lim, K.S. (March 18 & 19, 2010). Lim Kit Siang (limkitsiang). Retrieved March 19, 2010, from http://twitter.com/limkitsiang

Jamaluddin, K. (March 18 & 19, 2010).). Khairy Jamaluddin (Khairykj). Retrieved March 19, 2010, from http://twitter.com/khairykj

Pua, T. (March 18 & 19, 2010). Tony Pua (tonypua). Retrieved March 19, 2010, from http://twitter.com/tonypua

(1)

2010-03-19T12:17:00.000+08:00

Ok sorry this is just spontaneous. I was asked to follow twitter of Lim Kit Siang and Khairy, and sort out the time line of the conversation so, you guys might be interested to read. No, it's really nothing political. It's just drama. And be amazed by the power of names calling.

So, the argument began when Kit Siang posted 3 questions on 1Malaysia concept for UMNO MPs to answer, but clearly he was directing the questions to Khairy.

The questions were:
(1) (Would THE party) Agree to establish Opposition-led Parliamentary Select Committee on 1Malaysia Government Transformation Programme (GTP) Roadmap?

(2) (Is THE party) Prepared to declare that basis of 1Malaysia is “ketuanan rakyat Malaysia” and not “ketuanan Melayu”?

(3) (Is THE party) Prepared to declare being Malaysian first n Malay Chinese Indian Kadazan Iban second?

After 53 years of independence, he said UMNO MPs still find it difficult to answer these questions.

Khairy responded that Lim himself did not answer his question on Anwar Ibrahim misleading the house regarding APCO. "That's twisting & turning for you!"

Then Tony Pua stepped in: "You want to clarify things with Anwar Ibrahim, you ask Anwar Ibrahim la, y u ask Lim? Its like I ask u y Ong Tee Keat sack Chua Soi Lek in MCA". *opss...hehe*

Khairy replied Pua, saying he was only asking for his view, not to clarify. And kind of ask him not to campur tangan la.

Then Pua cakap pula: "But twisting story unfairly, I'll butt in la. If he doesn't have info, how to give his view?"

And he continued: "At the same time, none of the UMNO top was brave enough to declare unreserved support for statement in the Prime Minister's GTP - that is, Malaysian first, race second."

But Khairy got back to the previous subject: "He was presented with APCO statement. Can lah comment."

Tony replied: "Yes, got APCO statement shoved in his face n you expect an instant response without seeking clarification from Anwar Ibrahim? Lim is super but not Superman."

Before I further continue, let me explain what was the APCO statement all about. You see, opposition party claimed that the 1Malaysia concept is modeled after the Isralite government but THE party denied.

*APCO Worldwide ialah a strategic communication International company, based at Washington DC, the US.*

Khairy said: "I ain't. Its Pacman vs Mayweather. Or nothing."

Tony prepared to sign out: "Apologies, I am still featherweight, shouldn't be trying to punch above my class," ended with a ;-) smiley.

So Mr Lim got back on track trading barbs with Khairy again, calling him the "Pathetic Umno Youth chief" for diverting attention from the 3 simple questions to "run On Anwar".

But he responded on the ACPO issue: "APCO I have no information. Let's see who is right but this cannot justify disappearance after coming on so powerful righteous until punctured by 3 questions like tyre with no air".

LOL. sorry, my apologies. :P

Khairy pula shoot back: "Pathetic DAP dino can't even understand when someone has answered his 'trick' question. Better luck next time old man".

So Mr Lim was about to go to bed soon. He bid sweet goodnight to all and especially to Khairy, saying "Will check tomorrow if Oxford lad is capable of answering them (the 3 questions)".

Khairy quipped: "Revisionist historian as usual. You asked me 1 question. I answered. I asked you 1 question, you were stumped!"

Ok this is getting too long-winded. I mean of course, this is their soap-opera, duh. To be continued on the next post!

Sources:

Lim, K.S. (March 18 & 19, 2010). Lim Kit Siang (limkitsiang). Retrieved March 19, 2010, from http://twitter.com/limkitsiang

Jamaluddin, K. (March 18 & 19, 2010).). Khairy Jamaluddin (Khairykj). Retrieved March 19, 2010, from http://twitter.com/khairykj

Pua, T. (March 18 & 19, 2010). Tony Pua (tonypua). Retrieved March 19, 2010, from http://twitter.com/tonypua

2010-03-19T10:15:00.000+08:00

Last month, Rachelle, an intern from another paper (she's a nice girl), and I attended an insurance partnership event.

We received a door gift - properly wrapped, square in size, and heavy. As we travel back to KL Central in the LRT, we tried guessing what the gift was.

Me: "Look at that shape and the weight. It definitely is a mug."
Rachelle: "Yes, it's a mug. It must be."
Me: "Can these big companies stop giving us mugs or cups? So disappointing!"
Rachelle: "Who needs mugs anyway, we want something more! Let me unwrap it."
Me: "Look at that look at that, that's the shape of the mug (viewed from outside)!"
Rachelle: "I know, it is a mug!"
Me: "Yes you see, I'm telling you it's a mug, darn it."
Rachelle: "Darn it, mug."

And as she unwrapped the box, the mystery resolved.

Me: "(didn't bother to see) See, isn't it a mug, I told you so!"
Rachelle: "It's a crystal globe..."
Me: "Oh Lord forgive our sins!"
Rachelle: "God bless the insurance company!"

Everyone in the LRT looked at us like one kind.

2010-03-17T12:46:00.000+08:00

Promotional events are perilous. Poisonous. Marketing managers would inject venom into our minds and drugged us with door gifts to advertise their products. And all the big bosses would be hiding behind, giggling with hands stroking their bellies to see the show.

How many giants would dare to come before the media like how Mr Now-Everyone-Can-Fly enjoys? You count la, I give you finger lima biji.

This was supposed to be a great event. I expected the big guy would be there. I had a series of questions to ask: On the reject of Indonesia government for allowing their fleet to land; The purchase of 17 new fleets and its latest flight capacity; And impact of fuel shortage and price hike.

But again dia hantar dia mia communication managers, development managers and all kinds of angklong managers to welcome the media.

So the bla bla went on, introducing their packages during the travel fair. Towards the end of the event, I went up to the marketing manager and asked her on a series of questions, the manager replied 'not that I know'.

I tell you, the last time I covered the event, her face smile like don't know what ecstasy pills she has taken. Talked to me la, shook my hand and her body la, as if we were old acquaintances since the age of Renaissance.

Today, buat macam tak kenal jer. Sanggup dia! Maybe she really hates me la. You know the last time I covered the event, it was my first individual assignment. I didn't know what was I doing. At the end I had to call her up twice to clarify with her on some points. And the next day my editor chose to use BERNAMA's new.

She must feel a little imbalance due to all the goodies given to me but I didn't contribute to 'advertise' for them. Oh well, not like I am interested to fly to Batam anyway. Who knows I could write better if my ticket shows destination to Koh Samui. Just kidding.

Actually Padang baru also not bad la...

A Malay reporter sent me back to my office. She told me reporters under *&^ company are paid the highest salary. Their car allowance alone already accounted 700 bucks, and that is exclusive of fuel allowance. Plus OT and bonuses, you can bayangkan how much a reporter from the organization earned!

You can expect me to print a billboard-sized resume in front of their building, with me hanging down from the helicopter, waving a huge banner with 'Hire Me! I love you!' printed on.

So I came back to office before 1.00 pm.

I knew my editor would say 'it's another lousy story' but what could I do?

At the end, it's another target-based writing. RM 1.5 million. What is that? Enough to buy a pinch of salt?

Anyway, he understood the circumstance. With these people around, how much useful information can we retrieve for our investor-readers? Budget holiday package for 3D2N in Batam? Oh come on, that's not a joke at all.

Unless they keep mistress in Batam, that one other story la.
Ish. I was not commenting anything on Mr Jack N, ok.

2010-03-14T20:33:00.000+08:00

Today I was having lunch alone at A&W. Below was the conversation of a family beside me.

Mother: "I want going to the toilet."
Little Girl: "I want following!"
Father: "Girl, staying here."

I was very much enlightened by the family. They sent out a very important message:

Live in the simple present tense.

2010-03-12T13:08:00.000+08:00

Time for a breather.

Let's talk about investments in unit trust.

To those who do not know the new identity of Sir Elween, he is now a golden pseudo-consultant in unit trust investment. Whatever information you need, come to me, come on...come to me...

Ok. to make it short. Let me introduce the basic fund types.

Equity funds - higher risk because investment in stocks. You would expect capital gains instead of dividend income.

Balanced funds - balanced and safe;

Growth fund - investment in growing companies, so there are certain risks;

Hedge fund - Roughly it's like buying something for a period of time to secure your bid on it. For example, if at this time, I think the price of chocolate is just nice and expect it to probably increase in the next 5 years, so I hedge the chocolate at the present price for the next five years.

Basically there are conventional and Islamic products. I personally support Islamic products because they don't venture into liquor and tobacco. Besides, the prospect of Islamic finance is good, according to the Islamic economic forum I read from and hearsay from analysts reports and interviews I did with.

Besides, I think it is good to invest in a diversified portfolio trust funds but you need to be aware of the percentage allocation. Say, the product you buy is going to invest in 80% equity funds and 20% in money market (high liquidity, high risk), so this fund would be considered aggressive, as the increase and decline can be very drastic.

But the product you invest is around 80% in bonds,20% in equity, then it's low-risk. slow return but ideal for long term investment.

Oh talk about bonds. Don't need to know more. Just know that bonds are very slow but secured. It's almost like fixed deposit.

I suggest, you could kick-start your investment plan with Amanah Mutual Berhad (AMB) because they release the pricing everyday and you don't need to go through an agent. (but you need to keep watch the market). Otherwise you could consider ASNB, also the managing company of AMB because most of the products, their initial price is low. Some products begin at the investment of 100 units only. Good for starters to fool around. I mean to gain experience.

But so far, Public Mutual has performed quite well for the past few years. This is the time to invest before the country's economy fly high after May (I am just SAY~ING only).

So, there you have it. Intelligence brought to you by the Diamond-drops Warehouse Trust Fund Agency and Best agent and consultant, my Aunty Shirly.

2010-03-04T14:55:00.001+08:00

As a kind-hearted semi-evil, on the way to self-purification person, I fight for rights of the people. No doubt I am no longer fear of taking bus to office, and it should not be any of my concern.

But I do care for the cleaning kakaks, who had helped me in the early days of my training. They shared with me which bus to take. They even invited me to take taxi with them back to One-U at times when there were no buses.

I remained grateful to all these kakaks.

And now it's my time to return a favour to them.

I always wanted to write a complaint letter to RapidKL on its irregular buses and flawed route system. When I was back in Kampar for the 2nd time, I wrote an email to suggest@rapidkl.com.my. take note take note, you might write to them to complain.

And if you would want to help all the lovely kakaks, please write a letter to appeal to increase buses for U86, so it would pressurize them to act asap before we slaughter their drivers.

There and then, I found out a sad truth that my Malay standard sudah banyak-banyak jatuh. I can't bring myself to read the kind of language I wrote.

2 Weeks later, the management replied my email, with "Cik Elween Loke" on the header. Thank you, monster.

So they bli-bla on not enough buses and drivers, and would consider my suggestions and again bli-bla bli-bla.

I am not sure what kind of action would they take. But for sure, I would be writing to remind them about it. Say, a letter an hour for the next 50 years.

2010-02-27T17:51:00.000+08:00

Hello hello, testing one, two, three. 现在由我在金宝为你现场会直播上个星期四的经验。没什么，纯粹只是想要update以下东西。要不然

Shah Alam, one of the most unreachable places of the state is the destination for today's assignment. That's the same place where I got lost and spent almost 20 bucks on cab, KTM and buses.

I received the assignments around 11.30pm. At that time gua sudah playing chest with Mr Chou Gong. I mean playing chess. And this bad news just came disrupted my silent night. I began to send out chain messages to CC, Granny Ivy, Jun Ru Mei Zi and Suat Hooi to help me to check where on earth is that place.

Jun Ru Mei Zi's member dropped a bomb during my previous assignment there, telling me don't expect public transport in Shah Alam. My heart bled, echoed to Leona Lewis' Keep Bleeding Love (love for money).

I asked for direction from Suat Hooi because she has been there once to cover an event. And she would be there for the dialogue at 9 am too (but I attended the 11.00 pm session's press conference). She gave me very precise directions. For every sentence she said, I became more worried since there are so many turnings and ramps to look out for.

Finally, I have decided to put my bet on Chocolate. And she rang me up immediately telling me she was assigned for that assignment too! My heart just..resurrected from the sudden stroke.

The next day, I took a bus to the Kelana Jaya LRT station to wait for her. She decided not to take highways as she did not want to waste on tolls. We reached there an hour earlier because she wasn't sure with the direction too. The place was not as impression as it might sound on the paper. A lot of artificial trees. They called it a potential techno-city but what I saw was a lot of light bulbs hung on the poor shrubs and trees.

Since it was a state government event, we business reporters were not sure what to report on. We got our press release at the very last minute. I just briefly read through the Malay version they provided. Suat Hooi was already upstairs attending the dialogue, complaing how sien the dialogue was through sms, while we waited for that session to end.

The chief minister gave his speech and asked us is there any question for him. We all said no. But once he left, all the reporters flocked towards the CEO of the company which owns the techno-city. The process of investment was complicated. So we asked him to clarify again and again. Basically I just put my recorder by his mouth and went in a daze since I don't understand a single word he said. Then I asked just another question that popped out from my mind.

Elween: "How much revenue do you wish to generate from this programme?"

CEO of techno-city: "You see, it shows that you don't understand! This is an incubation programme for tech-preneurs. We are only getting the people in..."

And bla bla bla.

You think I am in wrong right? I tell you, no! He was just trying to make it sound like I have asked the wrong question, or as if I don't understand the whole concept. But he was just trying to avoid my question. For every investment made, there would be a certain target a company wishes to achieve, financially. It's impossible that they are helping newborn companies out of goodwill. Come on, there's no talk of charity in the world of business, okey, everybody understands that.

Anyway, for a thick-skinned person like me, to make mistakes is equivalent to enjoy spill a tiny bit of vanilla latte on my palms - wipe off, and memory deleted.

After the announcement and press conference, I went up to clarify details again along with Chocolate. I think she was lagi blur than I was. She kept pestering the poor BERNAMA reporter and the CEO. I guess I have learned that from her too.

Ms Irene wanted to ask me about the investment process but I asked her to hang on a while as I, too was not sure what was going on. At the end, I found out that she had left.

I felt very remorseful for ignoring her after all she was my first cinta in uni. I didn't expect her to be in such a rush. When I rang her up, she said she has gone for another event. I got back to the office, I wrote a summary to what the process was like and emailed it to her.

I completed the article in 400 words and sent in to the editor's mailbox. I informed him about it and asked if I could leave.

Editor: "Where are you going? This article would be a make or break for you."

Serious? I didn't expect this was going to be a big thing for me! I could have bullshitted 10000 words out of imagination. Joking only.

Since tomorrow is an off day, that is, no publication, this piece of BIG news would be embargoed on Monday's print. So, he said the lead (that is the main essence of the article, the first paragraph of the news) must be different from other news agency. I kepala otak totally blanked.

My editor asked me, what was my emotion when attending the event. I stuttered. What emotion? I can't tell him that all the while I was in a daze! He said I must have an emotion or thoughts related to the event. I was silenced by his words. Actually when he was talking, I was kinda in a daze too...

So he totally omitted the lead I wrote, and wrote a simple one instead.

So we went through the article, as usual, he basically cut off every sentence I wrote (ok he does that to every writer, not only me alone, ok!). A lot of cut and paste. I have to say being an editor is not easy. Cutting, pasting, rearranging, rewriting, reaffirming, restructuring the points could lead to madness and abundance in grey hair.

Towards the end, he scrolled the article trying to hint how much rubbish have I written and how much unnecessary information has he thrown away. Because in past experiences, he would slashed my 400-word article to become 200+. He wanted to mock me this time but he discovered that the whole article was actually 350 words long. He then spewed out few words unwillingly: "Not to bad..."

I stuck my tongue out and twisted both hands by my cheeks, closed eyes and raised brows, doing the 'ne ne ne pu pu' tune. In my imagination, of course. Kidding la, buddy. haha...

My editor is really a very cool guy. He does not really condemn me by shouting at my ear when I make mistakes but his sarcasm would result in the same effect. He must find me a nuisance all the time but I think he's enjoying my presence too! :p

But I am really scared of going to Shah Alarm again, as God would sometimes want to put me up for greater trials that I am reluctant to accept. Aiyo kidding la. Why, so, serious!

And NO, I was not in a daze. That was just to spice up this boring story a little. It is also something you all want to read right? Then I make up stories lo. I am not reporting news here also. No need credibility ba. haha.

结束。

2010-02-27T09:59:00.000+08:00

昨晚在我脑海里不但浮现一个画面。。。

编辑：“明天xxx (另一位实习生）将正式成为本报为长期作家。”
所有人：“（拍烂手）好啊！好！”

编辑：“实习生Elween将延长他的实习期多三天，到四月二十一日。　”
所有人：“（下巴跌到~）什么？！”

真是个可爱的人生啊，Jin se ne...哈哈。。。

2010-02-11T13:48:00.000+08:00

回到家乡，放下背包，我站在天台眑望周围的邻居的家园。突然一股声音从耳边传来，让我顿时如梦初醒，得到了一个启示：

为什么一个印度人能够把喷嚏打得那~么像华人？

2010-02-06T10:44:00.000+08:00

终于回到金宝来了。

这是一个疯狂的举动。突然间就有一股冲动想要离开城市，来到乡下喘一喘。所以就和housemate们建议就这个星期回来吧，我们可以一起吃顿新年晚饭。

我们为了这趟旅途可是历经波折。

先说cc吧。他明天本来有seminar的，可是为了回来却推掉了。基本上他有一直抱怨他的工跟新闻记者拉根儿扯不上什么关系。每天做一样的工, nine to five job，没有什么可以在report里写。可惜啦。

然后是ivy婆婆。他牺牲了公司的新年庆祝晚宴以及背叛了对chye moi的承诺，直接大包小包从公司赶到火车站。她，是否会在回去后死在chye moi 手里？让我们拭目以待。谢谢大家收看！

而我。。。我的牺牲。。。就令人vomit blood.

一星期前我就email editor 们，叫他们不要再派我到山芭地区了，因为我没有自己的交通工具，每天走路一小时简直是走死我，向人问地方时也问死我！同时我也要求尽量派我morning assignment，至少我能够回公司一趟，完成我的news.

后来，他们都很听我的话。
驳啦，开玩笑啦，奈按呐叻。

我都是早上的assignment. 就这样到了星期五了，我大概也是觉得应该是morning的event 了。谁知，我竟然被派去cover industry performance on trade！ 3.30pm! 又是大型的，重要的！之前一个manufacturing and services sector的performance report 已经够我死了，一个event 3 news! 可怕的是，我根本不知他们讲虾米！还好一路上都是靠中文媒体记者解释我才安然度过。
英文报记者。。。算了吧。嘴巴很像粘了什么强力胶酱。要不然每个都急着赶回家牧羊，怕死分享他们scoop到资料。

回到现在的故事。我得知后就立刻call U。 Joe。他是在4个editor里最最最照顾我的。他说，叫我不用担心，会有人去replace的. 我就sms 给编排assignment 的editor知（他应该恨死我了吧，一大堆要求），然后直奔office玩facebook.

直到11点，U。 Joe 来了。他说暂时没有事让我做，叫我等着先。我就继续facebook咯。得空的空，就去烦烦sakina, 要不然就去泡咖啡喝，或去蹲马桶。然后，最大的editor突然叫住我。

最大的editor: "You want to go back to Kampar right?"
我：“Yes,sir."
最大的editor:"Then go la. (一副很不削的样子）"
我：“My...train is 9.00pm..."
最大的editor: "（假假提阿＊驳）Next time if you wan to leave early or go anywhere, just tell la, don't need to come. (very the 不爽ｌｏｏｋ）"

我就继续讲- 我以为他会给我早上的啊，他又没有ｓｍｓ我啊（我没有得上网，所以每晚他都会ｓｍｓ我，就那晚例外）。。。他根本听不进耳。算啦，他应该恨死我了。ＩＡ低分了咯！　performance 都已经够低分了，现在attitude 应该也会很低分了吧。预聊的叻，ｂｕｓｉｎｅｓｓ根本是我的坟墓！

编排assignment 的editor 来了，我跟他打招呼，他看都不看我一眼！又死多一次了！

我已经不像想那么多了。做完工就回家。
我在7pm就准备出门了。巴士竟然跟我7.30pm 才到。我想，一个小时应该回到吧。

我的确underestimated Friday的traffic 了。Jam 死了，整条路！

最死的是，我背着跟提着两大包包，站着给一堆人在那边挤到像什么鬼样！我脚根本就是垫脚环绕着那rubbish bin，和它跳贴身交际。最衰是那个巴士司机，平时都不见得它们那么有同情心，即使已经爆满还继续到每一站接客。这个司机今天跟我做好人，一直~收人。我的屁股根本就已经是坐在那个站在我后面indon uncle的腿上。

就这样我站足一个小时半。最衰的是看到那些坐着的人优哉闲哉地躺着打瞌睡和睡觉就很不得把他们一个个掐死（存属虚构 - 免得有人报警）。这个巴士司机不只是好人，根本就是循规蹈矩到~。几乎我做过的巴士，不只是厉害potong jalan,而且还很喜欢在狭窄的马路驾上人行道去potong其他的车辆。这个嚟，乖乖排队，要出又不敢出。我们都被他顿了不知多少次！

看着时间一分一秒过去了，我很担心赶不上火车。我的脸皱到很像没有打过Botox酱。
还好及时赶上了。

跟他们meet up 后，就等火车咯。又迟到，ticket又是印错车厢编号的，又被赶来赶去。check票的check 了又check！

后来就一路用cc laptop 看电影咯。

到了金宝，感觉特别好。好像回家了。我们就在凌晨1am 提着大包小包，在乌漆black black的夜空下步行回家。走到巴刹哪儿，一只跛脚的狗竟然跟在我们身边，沿路保护着我们回家！那是一段多么远的路啊！我当时好感动。心里还想，应该是奈安呐的化身，来守护我们的吧。后来他就一直蹲在我们家门外。我又没有东西给他吃。后来才记得有奈安呐离开后，我们留下来大包的猫粮。就倒一点出来，喂它吃。没想到，他竟然吃了！那饼干清脆的声音和它吃的样子，根本就跟咱家奈安呐是一个模样呀！噢买股呢斯。

驳变，最后还是得跟它bye bye 了。最后一幕看到它，还是坐蹲在我们家门口的马路旁。

隔天早上，它，离开了。Gone. Pergi.

2010-02-05T10:42:00.001+08:00

I had another wait for an hour or so. Cabs brushed through my face every other few minutes but no bus at all. When a bus finally arrived, I eagerly got up and never felt happier by giving 1 buck to the driver than this. He stopped me by asking where I want to go. I told him the place but was chased out later after replying that this bus is heading towards another direction. My spirit was dampened.

As the bus left, again, another Indonesia lady came. She asked me where the bus goes and I told her. She said not every U86 goes back to One Utama and I might need to ask the driver every time. But once I familiarized myself with the bus route, I would learn which bus to board on.

I asked her again on buses from to KL Sentral, she listed so many buses as if she had mastered all the buses and their destination for life. I was glad to find out that there are buses to KL sentral and also buses to come back to Aunty Shirley’s place so I don’t need to trouble her to fetch me from the LRT station which is so far away.

It was still early. I thought I might just kill time by wandering around One Utama. Surprisingly I wasn’t attracted to the garment outlets in it. In fact, my mind only popped out both MPH and Popular. And I found a double-storey MPH! I can’t help buying few books from the bookstore and spent 60 bucks on 2 books and TheEdge Financial Daily. The books I bought are Chinese books, authored by experienced backpackers who share their adventurous stories in words.

A 90 degree salute to our fellow Indonesian friends! I think most of them I met are housekeepers. To save cost, they travel by bus quite often and this made them knowledgeable passengers.

Oh before I end, I had to tell you that I got down at the right bus stand but went the other direction all the way not knowing Aunty Shirley’s house is just right in front where I stopped.

So there you go, my first day of scouting the area by my own in 1496 words! Crazy.

(The End)

2010-01-30T08:39:00.001+08:00

The office is just there. Below the signboard I thought. I went up through the escalator twice, thinking that must be the third floor. I scouted that long stretch of offices but found no sign of TheEdge. The only office I found similar to W3A06 was W-306, which was a unnamed office room curtained with secrecy. I could not see directly into the office but peep through gaps between the curtains with my body bent and buttock protruding outward. Of course I did it when no Bangladeshi cleaners around otherwise I would forever be a laughing stock to them, spreading this joke from generation to generation back in Bangladesh.

No choice, I can’t barge into their office directly so I rang the office up. The woman at the end of the phone replied coldly that the office is ‘beside Citibank’. I saw only Urinebank, that is, the toilet but no Citibank. So I went down to the second floor and looked around but found fresh air with no human. Suddenly an office lady came out from the lift. I quickly caught up to her and asked. She told me to take lift, not escalator, to reach Level 3A, a place a normal person would have known knowing from the address but it didn’t cross my mind! Dummy.

Finally, I reached 3A and found TheEdge – a flamboyant office painted in orange, covers of the past TheEdge magazine used as the wallpaper on one side. Two ladies were chatting at the reception counter, with few bundles of newspaper stacked on the desk. I passed the office and they realized it. I was in a dilemma in making a choice whether to say hello or not. I thought I should, to show that I am a dedicated person who came all the way to check out his office before the training. I went in and introduced myself to them and talked whole lot of craps. And from the way they nod their heads and artificial smiles I could see hear a voice from outerspace saying: “Nice meeting you and you can go now, idiot.”

Rain gushed down like…rain. It was only 9.30am but I have no place to go. I stood at the building waiting for the rain to stop. I had an umbrella with me but didn’t want to wet it. An hour and a half later, the rain didn’t show any sign of slowing down still. Apologizing to my umbrella for causing it to get wet, I walked to the bus stand.

(to be continued...)

The Diamond-drops Warehouse

妈妈的垃圾天堂

不能说的羊水秘密

路未接：政治與娛樂脫不了關係…

读完了？大家不麻烦的话，请点 HERE。人生就会乐趣不穷。

路未接：西方所謂的人道主義

要快乐？其实很简单。助人为快乐之本。我就是您帮助的对象。请点阅这里。你的人生将会突然变得意义非凡。

路未接：西方所謂的人道主義

路未接：奧巴馬借利比亞內亂翻盤？

高教贷学金转为奖学金 仅去毕业生可申请

无温

玻璃市稻田的故事 (2）

玻璃市稻田的故事 (1）

小黑猫的 "Reborn"

猫娘的身世之谜？

戰勝獨裁的民主革命

《强逼超重兔子跳恰恰的红色姑娘》

一波四折小学入学记

打开辛蒂的心房

《厨房怪卡》创作曲

麦当劳前寻牛父记

大地雷公，恶邻居与狗肉

纸扎钢琴之恋

与蟑螂男友的一夜

洋葱蒜头对骂录

对牙刷的记忆

(2)

(1)

高教贷学金转为奖学金仅去毕业生可申请